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“When he got a story urge, there was nothing to do but grab a pen and write. Otherwise it was too much like getting a hard-on and not jerking off.”
― Paul Russell, The Coming Storm

“He is clueless how to fuck anything. Not even just a woman. Anything. A Fleshlight. I bet he can't masturbate without giving himself carpal tunnel and rope burn.”
― Valentine Glass, Jarring Sex

“So, you love the west," Tucker said.
"Sure do."
"Then it's a stupid love you got."
"How you figure?" I asked.
"'Cause the west don't love you back, son," Tucker said. "You're just whacking off in the sand. Sure, it feels all right, but you'll end up with nothing to show for it and just having to do it again. Plus, it ties up a perfectly good hand that you might be using for somethin' else.”
― Percival Everett, God's Country

“Describing my sexual history and scope of experience; am surrendering; in conclusion an epic failure

'I'm a master at setting people off...of this it may continue...”
― Robert Wesley Miller