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“It's Getting A Little West Side Story Here, Dean, And I Gotta Warn You, My Dancing Skills Are Not Up To Snuff.”
― Jess Mariano, Gilmore Girls

“You Know, I Think I Hung My Tool T-Shirt Next To My Metallica T-Shirt And They Don't Really Get Along.”
― Jess Mariano, Gilmore Girls

“I personally didn't care if you saw us or not but hey, Women right? You can't live with em and you can't keep em from jumping in the closet.”
― Jess Mariano, Gilmore Girls

“I Can't Concentrate With Your Annoying Midget Voice Yammering On And On. It's Like Having Stuart Little Shoved In My Ear.”
― Jess Mariano, Gilmore Girls