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“Sweetheart, wake up; you've destroyed the house and I need you to suffer for it.”
― Christopher Moore, Bloodsucking Fiends

“This is the man who called the fire department when the toilet backed up, and I'm asking him for help. What was I thinking? Why am I attracted to weak men?”
― Christopher Moore, Bloodsucking Fiends

“Tommy had completely forgotten that he was horny. He had always been horny, and had accepted that he always would be horny. So when Jody sat down across from him and the tsunami of hormones washed over him, he was quite shocked that he had ever forgotten.”
― Christopher Moore, Bloodsucking Fiends