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“Oscar: Hey Kil. Come and get me.

(Admin) Mikel: Don’t get involved, Oscar.

Oscar: You know you want to, Kili.

(Admin) Kalen: Do not get involved, Oscar.

Elijah: Oscar. Don’t.

Oscar: Be there in ten, Kiljoy.”
― Jane Washington, Tourner

“Iris Marion Young discusses how some girls learn to “throw like girls��; they learn not to get themselves behind an action, exhibiting what she calls “inhibited intentionality.�� She describes how girls often “lack confidence in their capacity to do what needs to be done.�� She notes, “We decide beforehand—usually mistakenly—that the task is beyond us and thus give it less than our full effort.”Decisions we make about our capacities are not always our own. We receive messages all the time that tell us who can do what (and who cannot). If you are told you can’t do it, that girls can’t do it, you might doubt whether you can do it; you might not put all of yourself into it. And then when you don’t manage it, you don’t pull it off, the judgment that you are not capable is confirmed. Gender norms sometimes work through a reversal of sequence: we assume we do it because we can, or don’t because we can’t, but often we can do it because we do it, or we can’t because we don’t. Over time, girls learn to inhabit their bodies with less confidence, assuming what they cannot do as a restriction of a horizon of possibility.”
― Sara Ahmed, The Feminist Killjoy Handbook: The Radical Potential of Getting in the Way