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“Everyone hated Calculus. Quadratic equations, parabolas, logarithms, trigonometry - you name it. It was like floating in an endless, frictionless void traveling at x miles per hour at a descension rate of one half the speed of gravity. Solve for x.”
― Andrew Sturm, The Kirkwood Project

“All of life is like raindrops on the window; some stick around for a little while and some just fall right out of the picture.”
― Andrew Sturm, The Kirkwood Project

“If you don't laugh at the crazy things, you're liable to lose your mind.”
― Andrew Sturm, The Kirkwood Project

“People cheer on tyrants for fear of becoming targets.”
― Andrew Sturm, The Kirkwood Project

“Love happens in the strangest places at the strangest times.”
― Andrew Sturm, The Kirkwood Project

“Learn to be embarrassed by little and sorry about even less.”
― Andrew Sturm, The Kirkwood Project

“His heart beat so rapidly it might burst; he kept telling himself everything was fine so long as he remained a giraffe.”
― Andrew Sturm, The Kirkwood Project

“There's no such thing as a sane woman.”
― Andrew Sturm, The Kirkwood Project

“I had a quack in the floor. So, I had to use ductile.”
― Andrew Sturm, The Kirkwood Project

“No matter how you twist and turn, your ass is always in the back.”
― Andrew Sturm, The Kirkwood Project

“Can I get a two-thumbs up for a fatter America?”
― Andrew Sturm, The Kirkwood Project

“I've gotta die of something, but I don't wanna die of it today.”
― Andrew Sturm, The Kirkwood Project

“A great man will experience more failures than successes. If we lived for the successes, we would have all killed ourselves by now.”
― Andrew Sturm, The Kirkwood Project

“Love's a funny thing, especially with a man who gets paid to put junk in other people's slots. (The Mail Man)”
― Andrew Sturm, The Kirkwood Project

“I'm not saying you're weak, but you brawl like a couple of girls having a pillow fight.”
― Andrew Sturm, The Kirkwood Project

“Becoming an adult is all about accepting that you didn't know anything when you were a kid.”
― Andrew Sturm, The Kirkwood Project