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“God bless the lawn mower, he thought. Who was the fool who made January first New Year’s Day? No, they should set a man to watch the grasses across a million Illinois, Ohio, and Iowa lawns, and on that morning when it was long enough for cutting, instead of ratchets and horns and yelling, there should be a great swelling symphony of lawn mowers reaping fresh grass upon the prairie lands. Instead of confetti and serpentine, people should throw grass spray at each other on the one day each year that really represents Beginning!”
― Ray Bradbury, Dandelion Wine

“He said he had a stroke reading my absurd writing, so I said, “Thank you for your service.â€� Then I continued washing my dishes in my lawnmower.”
― Jarod Kintz, There are Two Typos of People in This World: Those Who Can Edit and Those Who Can't