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“I want to roll my eyes, but I'm pretty soon they're going to get stuck in the back of my head, and penis puns are really not worth my permanent facial damage.”
― Lauren Morrill, Meant to Be

“A man's sexual organ is penis and woman's sexual organ is brains.”
― DK

“If God created man in his image... Does God have a functioning penis? And does God manually handle every penis he creates? Or does he outsource the job to penis-manufacturing elves?”
― Oliver Markus Malloy, Inside The Mind of an Introvert: Comics, Deep Thoughts and Quotable Quotes

“At least the rumours about wing-span correlating with the size of other parts were right.'

His back muscles tensed as he choked out a laugh. 'Such a dirty, wicked mouth.”
― Sarah J. Maas, A Court of Mist and Fury

“At least you are back to being normal size." She gave a strangled laugh. "If the size of a cucumber on steroids is normal that is.”
― Charlene Hartnady, His First (Chosen #3A)

“No going back now,' Cassian said to Rhys, gesturing to his wings.

Rhys slid his hands into his pockets. 'I figure it's time for the world to know who really has the largest wingspan.'

Cassian laughed, and even Azriel smiled.”
― Sarah J. Maas, A Court of Wings and Ruin

“Men looove pussy. They can never get enough of it. If you send a guy a pussy pic, he's gonna think you're awesome. And he assumes you feel the same way if he sends you an unsolicited dick pic. He loves jerking off while looking at pussy, and in his mind he's certain that you must love dick
pics as much as he loves pussy pics. It is such a given to him, it never even occurred to him that it might not be true.

If you have a dog, you know what I'm talking about. Sometimes a dog brings you his favorite toy in the whole world. And he puts it in your lap. Not because he wants you to throw it. This is not for him. This is for you. He wants you to have it.

When you look at his toy, all you see is a dirty old sock, covered in crusty dried dog spit. But that's not what he sees. To him that sock is the most awesome thing in the whole world. And he is putting The Most Awesome Thing In The Whole World in your lap. Then he sits down in front of you and stares into your eyes as if to say: "This is my gift to you. May it give you the same endless hours of joy and happiness that it has given me."

And that's exactly what men think when they send you a dick pic.”
― Oliver Markus Malloy, Why Creeps Don't Know They're Creeps - What Game of Thrones can teach us about relationships and Hollywood scandals

“The next Thursday she and Mike went to therapy even though there was nothing left to therapize. They went so they could talk calmly, so they could get through a conversation without anyone calling anyone else a Bunny fucker, so that Rhonda could help them work out logistics.
Rhonda tried to appear neutral, but it was clear she was on Jane's side. Jane had won therapy. It was a consolation prize. Rhonda helped them figure out what the terms of their separation would be and asked if they wanted to file for legal separation.
"Yes," Jane said.
"I think we should talk about that," Mike said.
"Yeah?" Jane said. "I think the ship has sailed on talking. Or the penis has sailed if you know what I mean.”
― Jennifer Close, Marrying the Ketchups

“I happen to know a rider whose powers can make big things very small.' A devious smile plays across her lips. 'And smaller things... much, much bigger.'

I roll my eyes. Mira's always been more vocal about her men than I have been... about all two of them. 'I mean, how much bigger?”
― Rebecca Yarros, Fourth Wing