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“Calvin: Dad where do babies come from?
Dad: Well Calvin, you simply go to Sears, buy the kit and follow the assembly instructions.
Calvin: I came from Sears?
Dad: No you were a blue-light special at K-Mart - almost as good and a lot cheaper!”
― Bill Waterson

“I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.”
― Roseanne Barr

“(talking about his father) 230 pounds of nickels in Sears slacks.”
― Bruce Springsteen