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“According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you're better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.”
― Jerry Seinfeld

“I think you should know that real-life white people are not all as funny as the ones on 'Seinfeld'.”
― Aaron McGruder

“It's not a lie if you believe it.”
― George Costanza

“we are all trying to get to the same island, whether you swim, fly, surf or skydiving. What matters is when the red light comes on.”
― Jerry Seinfeld

“Seinfeld was typically American in that show. He was a pretty funny guy, but he had no sense of style. Tacky like a Texan tux. Tasteless dressing and tasteful jokes. That's Seinfeld for me. I would have preferred it the other way around.”
― Hallgrímur Helgason, The Hitman's Guide to Housecleaning

“I looked exactly like the female version of George Costanza when I was in sixth gradeâ€� I insisted on dressing myself in monochromatic outfits. All my shirts had an animal performing an action on them. I had a pink sweater with penguins knitting to match my pink ribbed leggings. A hunter green shirt with dogs painting.”
― Olive B. Persimmon

“I fear we are in danger of losing this ability to laugh off the small stuff, and we are even closer to losing the ability to laugh at the big stuff. Comedians like Jerry Seinfeld and Chris Rock no longer perform on college campuses. Why? The PC culture has driven comedians away. In a 2015 interview, Seinfeld observed: ‘They just want to use these words: That’s racist. That’s sexist. That’s prejudice,’â€� he said. ‘They don’t know what the hell they’re talking about.â€� Comedians are worried that they’ll offend an overly sensitive generation of students looking for any reason to be offended. This is deeply unfortunate, and not just for the sake of comedy.”
― Dan Crenshaw, Fortitude: American Resilience in the Era of Outrage