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“I like my morning coffee so strong it will wake up the neighbors. And if that doesn't work, I'll start playing my tuba.”
― Jarod Kintz, The Lewis and Clark of The Ozarks

“But eventually everything was back the way it had been before, except for Lucy's father's second-best tuba, which had sustained severe jam damage.

So Lucy's father sold his second-best tuba and bought a sousaphone instead, which he had always wanted.”
― Neil Gaiman, The Wolves in the Walls

“They don't play the trombone like the tuba anymore. I blame it on canned tunafish.”
― Jarod Kintz, There are Two Typos of People in This World: Those Who Can Edit and Those Who Can't