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“Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.”
― Groucho Marx

“Weddings are never about the bride and groom, weddings are public platforms for dysfunctional families.”
― Lisa Kleypas, Blue-Eyed Devil

“Mawwage. Mawwage is what bwings us together today.”
― William Goldman

“A wedding is for daughters and fathers. The mothers all dress up, trying to look like young women. But a wedding is for a father and daughter. They stop being married to each other on that day.”
― sarah ruhl, Eurydice

“Oh I don't mind going to weddings, just as long as it's not my own...”
― Tom Waits

“Some of the fae have an odd idea of bride send-offs," he explained "including, according to Zee, kidnapping." "I forgot about that." And I was appalled because I knew better. "Bran and Samuel are probably more of a danger than any of the fae," I told him. "Someday, I'll tell you about some of the more spectaculare wedding antics Samuel's told me about." Some of them made kidnapping look mild.”
― Patricia Briggs, River Marked

“Every bride is beautiful. It’s like newborn babies or puppies. They can’t help it.”
― Emme Rollins, Dear Rockstar

“The lot of the bride
to be wed before bed
desired until rotten.
The lot of the author
to be read before bed
admired then forgotten.”
― Roman Payne

“It is such a happiness when good people get together -- and they always do.”
― Jane Austen

“Be there a picnic for the devil,
an orgy for the satyr,
and a wedding for the bride.”
― Roman Payne, The Basement Trains: A 21st Century Poem

“Finding out that you are not your lover’s only lover hurts, but not as much as discovering that you are the side chick â€� or the side dick.”
― Mokokoma Mokhonoana

“Who wouldn't want to get married in a room full of love stories?”
― Jen Campbell, The Bookshop Book

“Life, weddings, relationships, road trips, gardening, making out, haircuts: few of the fun things in life always go as expected.”
― Ariel Meadow Stallings, Offbeat Bride: Taffeta-Free Alternatives for Independent Brides

“They're so excited for one day in a pretty dress... someone should really tell them. They can wear a retty dress whenever they want... Women are out there tethering themselves to mediocre men just so they can wear a ball gown. It's a shame.”
― Rachel Harrison, Cackle

“I was stunned. I pulled the phone away and looked quizzically at the hole-punched speaker. Aside from the blood obligation to be my sister's maid of honor, it had never occured to me that I would get asked to be in anyone's wedding. I thought we had reached an understanding, the institution of marriage and I. Weddings are the like the triathlon of female friendship: the Shower, the Bachelorette Party, and the Main Event. It's the Iron Woman and most people never make it through. They fall off their bikes or choke on ocean water. I figured if I valued my life, I'd stay away from weddings and they'd stay away from me.”
― Sloane Crosley, I Was Told There'd Be Cake: Essays

“Make peace with the fact that there will be those who bitch no matter what you do. You might as well do what makes you happy, so at least when you hear the bitching, you'll know that the event they're griping about was exactly the one you wanted.”
― Ariel Meadow Stallings, Offbeat Bride: Taffeta-Free Alternatives for Independent Brides

“A small wedding is not necessarily one to which very few people are invited. It is one to which the person you are addressing is not invited.”
― Judith Martin, Miss Manners on Painfully Proper Weddings

“Darling Daddy,
This is Rose.
Very good news. Caddy is going to marry Micheal. In case you have forgotten because you have not been home for so long he is the one with the ponytail and the earring that you do not like. And Caddy says she will have a white lace dress and three bridesmaids, Saffron and Sarah and me, and a big party for everyone, all her old boyfriends too. Fireworks. A band. A big tent called a marquee. But where will we put it? Carriages with white horses for us all to go to the church. Afterward Caddy and Micheal will go for a holiday to Australia to visit the Great Barrier Reef. Caddy has it all worked out and Mummy says Yes She Can Of Course You Can Darling Of Course You Must Do That. Saffron said That Will Cost a Few Weeks Housekeeping and Mummy said Yes But We Do Not Need to Worry About That. DADDY WILL PAY.
Love, Rose.”
― Hilary McKay, Indigo's Star

“... I regularly frequent St. George';s, Hanover Square, during the genteel marriage season; and though I have never seen the bridegroom's male friends give way to tears, or the beadles and officiating clergy in any way affected, yet it is not at all uncommon to see women who are not in the least concerned in the operations going on -- old ladies who are long past marrying, stout middle-aged females with plenty of sons and daughters, let alone pretty young creatures in pink bonnets, who are on their promotion, and may naturally taken an interest in the ceremony -- I say it is quite common to see the women present piping, sobbing, sniffling; hiding their little faces in their little useless pocket-handkerchiefs; and heaving, old and young, with emotion.”
― William Makepeace Thackeray, Vanity Fair

“Just because you can, doesn't necessarily mean that you should!”
― Bill Collins

“...weddings are giant Rorschach tests onto which everyone around you projects their fears, fantasies, and expectations -- many of which they've been cultivating since the day you were born.”
― Susan Jane Gilman

“Newspaper columnist Dave Barry once wrote that the motto of the wedding industry is, 'Money can't buy you happiness, so you might as well give your money to us.”
― Denise Fields, Bridal Bargains: Secrets to Throwing a Fantastic Wedding on a Realistic Budget

“Just because you can, doesn't necessarily mean that you sh”
― Bill Collins

“Love means never having to shave your back.”
― Devan Sipher, The Wedding Beat

“She knew it was a strange contradiction, but despite her interest in love, weddings made her uncomfortable. They were too showy, too public. Deep love between two people was a private, wordless endeavor, and to place the lovers in fancy clothes in front of a crowd seemed antithetical to the nature of the thing. No one could see love- this is what Sylvie believed, anyway. It was an internal state.”
― Ann Napolitano, Hello Beautiful

“I’m not going to say yes to Trey,â€� I said. “If he asks, it’s a no from me. You’ll never get the grandchildren you want.”
― Jenn McKinlay, It Happened One Christmas Eve

“Weddings are occasions where couples make vows and promises they cannot keep”
― Siddharth Katragadda, Dark Rooms

“Couples are now tying the knot on Global Holistic Wealth Day, April 9th, incorporating holistic wealth into their wedding ceremonies and honeymoons—an ode to a holistically wealthy lifestyle.”
― Keisha Blair

“Weddings, a fleeting moment when you think you have finally solved all your relationship issues and the gates of heaven await.”
― Carol Vorvain, OMSARUZ: Humorous tales from Oman, Saudi Arabia and Uzbekistan

“The conch shells blew as the priest handed me the red powder, supposed to be used to mark my territories. Man and his primitive needs to mark what is his. A little bit of vermillion dropped on her nose, making her scrunch, the red on her hairline established a truth. Men, unlike women, had no symbols of a union. Women did not mark their territories. They made homes.

(Scarlet: A Short Story)”
― Suranya Sengupta