I am broken and happy and sad and conflicted and I hate everything, but I also love everything, and I feel like I'm beingLet me let you in a secret...
I am broken and happy and sad and conflicted and I hate everything, but I also love everything, and I feel like I'm being killed from the inside-limbs cracking, veins bursting, bones disintegrating- yet I feel alive but not, it's just-
PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN AND EMOTIONS I DON'T WANT TO FEEL AND JUST TAKE THIS AWAY FROM ME, PLEASE.
Rating: ✨✨✨✨3.7
I don't know what to think. I don't even know what to feel. This thing felt eternal. Then it didn't. Then it went TOO FAST- Then it simply stopped.
The only thing that really saved this for me was those last thirty pages. Can you feel my tears already gathering?
Even breathing is difficult right now.
This is exactly why I don't review so quickly- TOO MUCH EMOTIONAL DAMAGE TO PROPERLY PROCESS EVERYTHING- BUT GUESS WHAT- MY SHATTERED SOUL NEEDS SOMEONE TO PARTNER WITH HER IN THE SHATTERNMENT (totally a word) SO I'M GOING TO DO THIS BY THE FORCE OF AN EINAUDI PLAYLIST AND KNOWING THAT MY PILLOW IS AWAITING THE SOBS THAT WILL ATTACK ME.
Are you ready for a ride? I was not, by the way. I wasn't read for this book.
Even the freaking title brings me agony now that I know the stark truth behind it. Dang it-
Let me be extra honest I don't even have the energy for a filter by saying that I would've probably rated this book two stars if it wasn't for Finn.
And occasionally the MC. Literally, I couldn't care less about anyone else in this book. Oh! Did I fail to mention the end? ...
The near silent cracking of the soul can be heard in the distance. "What's that papa?" asked a little boy, straining with his tiny ears to discern what was making that strange sound. Almost tinkling like. "Oh, that's just music, dear one." "It sounds sad, papa." The little boy almost teared up from the mournful resonance echoing in the distance.
OF COURSE IT SOUNDS SAD, HOW COULD IT NOT- I did indeed had to write that snippet to compose myself. Let's be random about this, shall we?
The Pace was incredibly confusing because on one hand it was necessary for it too take its time to develop, but in the other, so incredibly sloowwwwwwwwwwwwwww. The build up required so much filler information that at this point, I have no clue how I was supposed to grow to care for the character when I liked... none of them. See, I breezed through the pages, soaking in the chapters like non alcoholic beverages, trying to find the point in knowing so many details I honestly didn't see the point of knowing. I'm leaning right now to my more vexed side of me, so I can leave the grief and anger for later. Like an appetizer, you know? I felt like the story mixed with the pacing could've been so much more meaningful if it had less 'The weird squad and I walked in school because we were strange, yet not, because the world could never understand how strange-' (it gets tedious real quick)
But you know what else? The slow pace actually made me care an inkling for the whole tragic best friends to lovers- AND ON THAT NOTE, let's continue with that, my friends.
The romance!! The one that took three hundred pages of both of them dating different people, three hundred pages and four years of them lying to their own desires. SEVEN HOURS OF MY LIFE- okay, yeah, that romance. Honestly? I kind of swooned. And blushed. And possibly giggled. And alright, I really really liked it. It was a love that was so intense and all consuming, that even when underneath piles of useless infodumps, shone like the brightest of emeralds. It was like a warm hut on a freezing night, an ice cream cone on a scorching day-- perfectly imperfect and oh great, I'm going to clutch my heart again.
Moving along... How dare you- Not you, the reader (you're awesome). I mean the characters. Three hundred pages of incessant drama that could've been solved with a talk. Even a few words. Four years in their world wasted. Seven hours (87 interruptions and 45 threatening words) of mine... not exactly wasted because I can't be that mean, but yeah. I have better communication with the pigeons I'm this close to killing than the characters had in the whole book
The plot was kind of like a slinky. It went to point A, stayed in point A for 100 pages or so, jumped to point C, flew to point G and then back to point A. If this happens in another book I'll literally skin them alive- And against all odds, I was kept entertained. Mostly because I needed to know how it would all culminate but let's just call it the 'addictive factor'. I really felt that it touched on incredibly important and painful topics like: divorce, depression, toxic relationships (even I thought the line of the red flag grew ragged at times, which disturbed me greatly), heartbreak, heartbreak, heartbreak, heartbreak, heartbreak, heartbreak, heartbreak, heartbreak, heartbreak, heartbreak, heartbreak, heartbreak, heartbreak, heartbreak, heartbreak, heartbreak, heartbreak, heartbreak, heartbreak, heartbreak, heartbreak, heartbreak, heartbreak, heartbreak- I'll stop.
Then for the story to have worked to perfection, I came to the wonderful conclusion that characters have to make me feel in order for me to completely enjoy the plot in its entirety. It surprised me as well- (sarcasm should be an official grieving stage)
Oh, I'm sorry, that hurt your feelings, characters? WELL, ONE OF YOU SHATTERED MINE SO WE'RE NOT EVEN, BUT CLOSE ENOUGH.
I swear I'm trying to breathe right now.
The MC was complicated, the EPITOME of 'not like other girls', knew she was pretty but come on... she wears tiaras with ripped jeans. So indescribably quirky. Am I right? Apart from the many many many times that I felt for her and wanted to prove to her heart that first loves aren't the only loves out there meant to have. It doesn't have to last forever, and if it does, then it does! I wanted to hug her and then, you know, the usual--to projectile smack the crap out of her (preferably to come out of her nasal facilities) stupid miscommunicative (again, totally a word) self. HE'S IN LOVE WITH YOU GIRL- I wanted to scream. WHY CAN'T YOU SEE IT?!?!?- I wanted to ask.
Most of the characters felt stagnant in a way. In the book, years would pass yet they wouldn't experience any development and the main character wasn't any different. But of course, there's always the exception.
Phineas of my heart. Finn. Finny. I would literally lay down one of my favorite perfumes out in the road to be run over, for you. Because I know you would hate anyone getting hurt, and you're perfect and sweet and kind and- and- oh God, I need a break. If I could've made him stay too, to see him grow old and hold more babies in his arms with that single look of devotion shining in his eyes. I could've seen him finishing his doctorate with a winning streak, treating patients, becoming a man worth being proud of and gosh darn it. I'm done.
Oh! And the end. The sole thing that upped this rating was gone WAY too quick, I was mid cry- the AUDACITY.
On a closing NOTE (caps because I'm mad at myself), I wouldn't necessarily be all like: Please read it, I beg you, Porfavor, Sil vou plait, I will hit you with a piano if you don't-. Because I didn't love it to the fullest. The foreshadowing is what saved this for me, so I can say with all certainty that this book isn't for everyone, and that's okay! Characters were forgettable minus the two I almost killed up there, plot was okay, pace was... hm, writing was great yet not on the level to be adored by me-
All in all, after I put a little bow in this and step away from the premises, I shall consider the grieving process I underwent whilst writing this and promise myself --nay VOW, to never ever read a book as heartbreaking as this-
*goes on Å·±¦ÓéÀÖ and adds more heartbreaking books like this*
"Beyond the castle gates, the sun rises and the birds sing, but the Golden Palace is draped in a veil of night. My night. My darkness. My power."
(first sentence as reference)
Since I disliked this book passionately, I shall describe in excruciating detail how many things this book did right.
Finn.
For the first half.
When he was not present.
Or corrupted.
…The End.
Okay, fine. I must be nice, for the sake of my conscience and future writing endeavors that now consist of me screaming at my computer because my brain is not braining and I’m sick of it, make sense?
Literally, this bloody book in a nutshell.
For starters, let me clarify that this is NOT against the author in any way, quite the contrary really, I’m proud that the author wrote a book- I’m just angry that the editors and publishers didn’t read what I read or I read something ENTIRELY DIFFERENT because how is it even possible for a sequel to leach the life out of me, but making it in an addictive way?
Kind of like waiting for a killer to hunt you down, but the killer is an imbecile who doesn’t know what they’re doing, so it’s plain entertainment-
You end up dying in the story, but all for the fun and fun for all!
Now, I read the first book a while ago, and my brain cells are commonly known for auto deletion in various modes, HOWEVER, I do not recall the first book making me want to eat chunky bleach (the chewy version to prolong the effect) with my eyespheres.
I really really don’t! And that’s what’s ultimately depressing about all this. I WAITED for this book, I CRAVED this book, I GOT THE NETGALLEY ARC REJECTED BECAUSE THEY THOUGHT ‘OH HEY, LET’S MAKE THIS GIRL MISERABLE, BUT REALLY, WE’RE SAVING HER LIFE AND THE REVIEWING RATIO- so yes, this book and I have a long, traitorous journey that lasted weeks and painful days when I had to singe the words ‘female� and ‘male� from my poor, dead retinas.
It’s been a minute or so since I finished (metaphorically speaking, of course. I finished this wonderful fan fiction, this morning and since then, I’ve been trying to organize my thoughts into something resembling coherence. But, you know, that and I, we don’t match) and I’m saying that to justify the utter disaster (but entertaining, if you will, like this story) that will be so carelessly written by moi.
Are you strapped in?
Do you have your blinders on and a cup of vinegar to wash down the things I’ll dramatically express?
If so, do walk in, take a seat right by my catatonic self and enjoy! Again, this is NOT towards the author, but I have a lot of things to say about one of my most expected releases that went WOOOOSH to a battlefield and lost.
Picture this,
You’re walking into this divided world, full of war and sadness and pain, shadow and light, kings and queens dying for the chance to make their voices heard and obeyed- years and years AND YEARS OF TORTURE AND WAITING FOR THE ONE SAVIOR. And in comes this girl, with flawless skin (but she's so so different from other girls because she's not gorgeous but every 'male' proclaims her beauty every five pages), a Mulan haircut moment with none of the amazingness that was Mulan, and these two ‘males� that cannot bear to be apart from her.
And of course, if that wasn’t good enough, we have the fact that every single MOMENT that we’re in the main character’s head (literally the whole book, if you may), she’s always saying:
“I don’t understand how I could be so special. I’m not even pretty enough, I’m just a human who fell in love with two males and I am nothing. I wish I could sacrifice myself to save people from the agony of being near me.�
NONETHELESS, at the less second, this same self victimizing bucket of acidic waste, says:
“I am meant to be here. I am shadow, I am flame, I deserve better than these two males trying to hold me in. I’m a bird.�
**next page**
“My wings are broken. I cannot be a bird. A bird is too kind and powerful, I’m weak. I’m the soil beneath the feet that trample my very being.�
**moments later**
“I don’t know how my wings were ever broken because people must kneel before my power. Yes, power curses through my veins like the broken stars that litter in one of my male’s gaze.�
And so on and on and ON, if she had an off switch, I would slam into it.
Seriously, in the first book? She was tolerable, slightly relatable, and the drama was enjoyable! In this � thing? HA! Good luck, my loves. Because I needed it and the luck went FTYUJHGFGTYU
I really did try to like her, I really did. I saw this book as more of a funny in between story because if I had delved into thinking this book actually meant to be SERIOUS? I would’ve been heartbroken- more so than I currently am.
The only light that saved the first novel of this duology? My husband Finn?
I’m sorry, baby, but what in the hecking world HAPPENED TO YOU. You, with your amazing feelings and mysterious self and strong yet gentle personality, now you turned into a (forgive my french) simping-who-knows-WHAT.
Simping for who??? Brie????
What???
Why???
And since I unknowingly made this into the section of characters, let’s have a chat concerning Sebastian.
Man, oh, man. This ‘male� (UYTFRTYUIKJHGV) made me want to tear out someone’s eyes and shove them into their ears, so their vision was as muddled as their freaking HEARING. Did this dude not LISTEN when Acidic Waste was telling him she did not want the bond???
No, because he saw him first, thus, he definitely wasn’t going to let her go.
Literally his words. Written. In the book.
And you know what? I WISH I was done with the things that disappointed me about this story, but sadly, I haven’t even scratched the edge of the iceberg yet.
(Can you imagine if an iceberg had killed them all? Oh, what a lovely end that would’ve been.)
The supreme highlight of this book was Misha. Period, no comma, no paragraph, nothing. Just him and his sassy, lovable, genius, telepathic, devious self.
Questionable romance set aside, he was the reason I found the strength to suffer through.
The things I had to suffer, though, they were entirely different.
The plot was all over the place. Things did not match up, randomness was flying everywhere, AND WHAT THE HECK WERE THE POWERS MENTIONED??? Brie had shadows, apparent hallucinogenic powers too, had night power- boo, do you want the whole spectrum of it???
Should we give you star dust and gift you a part in Tinkerbell? Or **gasp** you’re too normal and average to ever be a fairy of any kind.
**resounding smack**
To this time of the day, I am confused and since I read just to read and not to really catalog anything or even understand, I don’t really care.
(That’s a straight-up lie, Booksy does in fact, care. A bit too much, I might say.)
The writing was a fail for me too in this specific book, in the previous one? I was like, GO OFF QUEEN. SLAYYYY. YASSSSS. YASSIFY THAT ISH, KILL ME WITH YOUR WORDS, ANNIHILATE ME WITH YOUR METAPHORS- SLICE ME WITH YOUR PARAG-
Okay, I’ll stop. (she, in fact, did not stop)
I just feel like this book was poorly written, and there’s nothing sadder for me to say than saying that. The end felt meh, the storyline was okay, drama was amazing, romance was in shambles (and I do like well done love triangles when they add some kind of pizzazz to a storyline, but not this thing), the characters left so, so much to be desired, and the inability to say men and women rankled me to the every edge of the sanity I don’t have.
I’m not even angry at this point, I’m just giving up. I gave my best efforts to THINK about the things I felt for this in a positive light, but apparently, that light is from Hades and he’s a devilish idiot who doesn’t like to share.
On a closing note, I’m sure you’re as tired as I am of my words jumping in and out (or you were viciously hooked to this review! In which case, here’s a wedding ring and you can choose the venue for our elopement), I do think this book had potential. There was a chance for the characters to grow personalities and wings that weren’t brittle, character development to take those wings and turn them into armor. I did find this addictive and unputdownable, but at the same time, would I read it if I were to suddenly develop elective memory loss?
�
Noh.
If you'll excuse me, I’m going to throw a tantrum in usual ‘female� fashion now.
...................... Don't bring up the "You're so special" bloody nonsense, and I may enjoy this as much as the first one. ...more
[This in no way is to offend the author, it's just a personal opinion and if I offended anybody please let me know![This in no way is to offend the author, it's just a personal opinion and if I offended anybody please let me know!...more
Y'all know that song Creep? Let me just refresh my brain cells real quick. BUT I'M A CREEEEPPPP, I'M A WThis book: ...
What I want to do to it:
[image]
Y'all know that song Creep? Let me just refresh my brain cells real quick. BUT I'M A CREEEEPPPP, I'M A WEIRDOOOO, WHAT THE HECK AM I DOING HEREEEE, I DON'T BELONG HEEREEE. That's explicitly dedicated to this. Cause it doesn't belong on earth. Or anywhere, really. Unless it's at the bottom of the toilet.
(this review is in no way offense to the author. I'm sure she's a wonderful hooman and I would love to see how her potential grows. And if I did sound(this review is in no way offense to the author. I'm sure she's a wonderful hooman and I would love to see how her potential grows. And if I did sound offensive, please let me know)
Don't let the cover deter you, this is actually a YA book. Even shirtless constipated-guy covers have infected our lovely cover community. This is not a review but a much-needed rant, so as I do not recommend this necessarily (unless you were like me and just wanted to read it just because you wanted something light and fun) Feel free to keep on reading, because honestly, it's an Allergy commercial for books such as this one.
For full review, please visit: I would love to hear y'all's opinions!
I've been apologizing a lot, these coupleFor full review, please visit: I would love to hear y'all's opinions!
I've been apologizing a lot, these couple of days, but this takes the cake. Knife. It takes the knife.
Okay. I gave up on page 125. And against my better judgment, I fought against the onslaught of semi-smart thoughts barraging my mind (because I'm smart like that) saying that perhaps, I should stop reading. But INSTEAD, I finished it. I finished the book. I finished reading...the book. The book...was finished. The finish was---I'll stop. I honestly don't know what to say for myself. Other than try to save y'all's brain cells (I am also a very good human being if you didn't know) If you like reading about super gory, cannibalistic tendencies of a family, which said detail, is useless concerning the story. Slight (yeah, right) levels of violence, murder, kidnapping, mentions of past abuse, harm to animals, cannibalism, and an unnecessary mention of incest (which again, didn't do anything for the story line). Without forgetting the insta love, you know? Let's just keep on adding layers to this. If you like reading about ALL of those things, or are merely curious (which I wouldn't judge). You REALLY don't want to read this review. The only saving grace? The writing. That was the only thing that made me want to go on. Mrs Ania. I really don't know what else to say (that is productive and not verging on the edge of rudeness). Oh! And did I forget to mention, the fact that I read this book on January 1? Seriously *knocking on skull*, there's nothing here. Nada, zero, zilch. I hope y'all are prepared for a VERY ranty review. Better yet, Ranty EVERYTHING. This review is definitely not sponsored by Losing Brain Cells at the Speed of Light Campaign. ~enjoy
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