Familiar choreography / Silent synchronicity / Only you take all of me (Body 鈥� Sin茅ad Harnett).
Hey, have you ever had a hard time focusing? Because shFamiliar choreography / Silent synchronicity / Only you take all of me (Body 鈥� Sin茅ad Harnett).
Hey, have you ever had a hard time focusing? Because sheesh... I鈥檝e been noticing that I鈥檒l sometimes stop YouTube videos when they鈥檙e only a third of the way finished, fast-paced movies designed to go down easy instead leave me yearning to scroll, and sometimes when I鈥檓 reading a contemporary romance I'll catch myself skimming paragraphs. Like, what鈥檚 my problem!? Look at the thing in front of you, dude! And not to get too sentimental here, but that鈥檚 probably why reading is so important to me, because if I stop, then I worry at the thought of what my attention span would become. But let's push aside dramatic introductions for now, basically what I鈥檓 getting at is that I want to emphasize that when I say that Penric鈥檚 Demon captured my attention from the very start and held it for as long as necessary, I really mean it! And despite this book鈥檚 decidedly heavier focus on wordy world-building and descriptive language, I still found this incredibly engaging with its lovely prose and wildly imaginative story. Even from opening to page one, where we鈥檙e introduced to Lord Penric Something-Or-Other (he has a long name that I don鈥檛 remember), the second son of a minor lord, I knew that this would be a hit. But as luck would have it, while Pen's on the road to his pretty bride-to-be, his contemplative thoughts instead gets interrupted when he finds himself trying to help a dying old woman. And because no good deed goes unpunished, with her dying breath she passes on a demon to him, It Follows style. Don't you hate it when that happens? Well, I suppose this whole ordeal works just as well as an unwanted arranged marriage, because he then soon finds out that instead of the fantastic acrobatic skills that normally comes with demonic possession, he gains all the abilities from the demon, Desdemona's past hosts in a way that鈥檚 similar to the 鈥淏leeding Effect鈥� from Assassin鈥檚 Creed. Besides, I鈥檓 glad that this book opens up the possibility for it to be a love story between a guy and his demon, because if I鈥檓 in this series for the long-run, I sure as hell don鈥檛 want to listen to Pen doing the whole Ray Romano ass 鈥�I hate my wife鈥� shtick had he actually met his intended betrothed. 鈥�I hate my demon鈥� is much more tolerable, for sure. Sorry, that probably isn鈥檛 a fair assessment of what this series could become, and I might just be airing out my bias for whenever I鈥檓 find myself reading a romance that isn鈥檛 gay. Because damn, I kind of went on an emotional roller-coaster where at first I thought that the demon would be a dude and that this book would be a romance where Pen and this demon get closer in other ways, then the demon is revealed to be a woman and there was a split second of disappointment because I figured that there wouldn鈥檛 be a romance subplot鈥� and then I remembered that heterosexual romances exist! Huh, must have slipped my mind teehee. See, I did a little switcheroo there! Something something subvert expectations or whatever.
Anyway, did I mention that I've been having a hard time focusing? Because I might have gotten side-tracked a little bit. Hey, at least I haven't started randomly talking about music genres in the middle of my review of this lovely fantasy novel, because that would really be off topic! So yeah, none of the emotional turmoil I went through has anything to do with my actual feelings towards this story, because despite featuring grand escapes from corrupt lords and wild demonstrations of magical wonder, Penric鈥檚 Demon is actually rather low key in its presentation. Reading it feels more like drifting along a river bank than something more high-stakes and tension ridden, which I honestly thought was an inspired choice given the subject matter. I always like a story that re-examines the nature of a monster and makes us question the idea of systemic bias towards said monster. Hey, I love The Shape of Water, what can I say? But as for the whole "demon possession" thing, I know the subject seems quaint now, but for the longest time there were many people who took the idea of it in a story as very serious business, thinking it was the spookiest thing out there. Like, the genre would be right there at the height of the 鈥�Seriously Scary Pyramid!鈥� But I guess they鈥檝e kind of gone out of style in the horror sphere (I鈥檓 all about shapes and tangents in this review), because even in a recent horror movie like Late Night With the Devil, a movie that heavily features demonic possession as a story device, it's still used more as a narrative tool to comment on the soulless, exploitative, and artificial nature that goes into televising and making a spectacle out of real people's trauma rather than the inherent spirit of goodness fighting the very nature of evil shown through a demonic metaphor. There鈥檚 something funny in how it proposes that the search for clout is more evil and amoral than a literal demon taking over your body. And I promise this isn鈥檛 me trying to be cool by showing how indifferent I am to horror, but I always thought that there was an inherent humor in The Exorcist because like... that鈥檚 not just me, right? I鈥檓 just saying, I really enjoyed it when that little girl spends the whole movie shit talking the priest guy, not because it鈥檚 horrifying, but because she鈥檇 be right at home in an Xbox Live lobby. But yeah, demon possession? Not my kind of scary, my kind of scary is when I accidentally log out of my YouTube account and see Mr. Beast鈥檚 dead, soulless eyes staring back at me while his video title hints at whatever evil torture labyrinth scenario he鈥檚 created this time. But really though, it鈥檚 totally cool how this book is about lighter themes like friendship and kindness, because I think that there鈥檚 more than enough wiggle room with the genre where we could ask more important questions, like what if instead of banishing and exorcising the demon, we love and cherish them? What then, hm!? Have we ever tried that method? Well, Penric鈥檚 Demon answered that burning question more than sufficiently, and I鈥檓 glad that I have something I actually like to add to my 鈥�I Love Monsters" list that isn鈥檛 just Venom.
I mean, I might be overselling the "love story" nature of this book a little bit, because I鈥檇 actually say that it was surprisingly chaste in a way that reminded me more of a Young-Adult novel rather than something like a Lord of the White Hell or Luck in the Shadows. That鈥檚 not a criticism though, if anything this book gave of the same vibes as works by K.L. Noone like Magician or Bisclavret, which are all calming examinations of characters trying to find purpose in a world that's already filled with magic. Sorry, I think I got stuck in listing mode, the mode where I just end up referencing a bunch of things like Seth MacFarlane. But yeah, even though the whole time I was reading this I was totally on board with wherever Penric鈥檚 Demon wanted to take me, I still had to also remind myself that not everybody is so agreeable with cozy high fantasy the way that I am. This isn鈥檛 a flex, but I remember back when Kendrick Lamar released 鈥淣ot Like Us,鈥� there were posts on Tumblr that were鈥� like, guides to Hip-Hop? Like, 鈥�Hey guys, here鈥檚 a list of intro songs and remember to avoid these songs because they might be too scary teehee!鈥� And I guess they were supposed to be helpful introductions to the music genre and they're clearly meant for people who don鈥檛 listen to rap, but they were all formatted like super serious court documents or something and I seriously had to stop myself from doing a 鈥�Jim Face鈥� for so long that my face would get stuck in perpetual bemusement. Tumblr is a site whose user base predominately listens to video game OST鈥檚 and Anime theme songs, so I shouldn鈥檛 knock people who are enthused about getting into something new. I should be kinder! See? I listened and learned! I hope that wasn't condescending, I'm a reformed music snob, you see. And since nobody asked, here鈥檚 my personal listening guide to Hip-Hop (meaning just a few songs that I like); at least give a listen to 鈥淗ipster Girls鈥� by IamSu, 鈥淭ipsy鈥� by J-Kwon (the original), and 鈥淩NP鈥� by YBN Cordae and Anderson Paak. Oh, and this is important, write this down! Avoid G-Eazy, he鈥檚 literally the worst rapper of all time... eh maybe steer clear of Logic too, he doesn't have one good song and I'll die on this hill. What was I talking about? Oh yeah, focusing. Penric鈥檚 Demon is a book I've read and that I'm currently talking about. Back on track, I think this book is smartly written in the way that Pen starts out as a kind of blank slate, a go-with-the-flow main character, who lets life happen to him rather than try to go out and do his own thing. And because he's not given a strong sense of identity, it makes his demon possession a kind of 鈥渨ake up call,鈥� where he has to decide who he really is, to what lengths he will go to remain himself, what that even means, and who he can become with Desdemona. It鈥檚 pretty classic stuff, and yet I still think it鈥檚 an incredibly effective character study. Sure, this book may not be the most exciting and action-packed story out there, but I think that by showcasing an excess of wit, charm, and boundless curiosity, it still manages to inspire through its message that even the most wicked of creatures can learn to love and be loved.
鈥淧en鈥檚 life so far had been sadly free of heroes, princesses, or princes in any case.鈥�...more
I won't tell a soul, no one has to know / If you want to be鈥� totally discreet / I'll be at your side, if only for one night (If Only For One Night 鈥� LI won't tell a soul, no one has to know / If you want to be鈥� totally discreet / I'll be at your side, if only for one night (If Only For One Night 鈥� Luther Vandross).
Excuse me for a moment, I鈥檓 just taking this chance to marvel at the sheer number of amazing books there are out there in the world. Wow, so many! It鈥檚 a little staggering! You know how people love to say 鈥�this is the bad timeline鈥� or several other variations of the sentiment? Yeah well, this is the timeline where I read a wonderful little story called The Doctor鈥檚 Discretion that made me embarrassingly choked up, so it can鈥檛 be all bad. Seriously, I鈥檓 not being snarky, because it鈥檚 wild for me to think about all these fantastic books that I might not have read had I not randomly stumbled across them one day. Emotionally devastating, effortlessly powerful, and satisfyingly (if a little belatedly) optimistic, The Doctor鈥檚 Discretion is one of those books that you don鈥檛 want to read in public unless you don鈥檛 mind everybody seeing you break down in tears. Nah, you鈥檝e got to find somewhere quiet, somewhere you can read this with discretion, an empty, wide open space鈥� like at a screening for Captain American: Brave New World! Zing nobody watched that movie ha ha! Anyway, the story goes that we follow Doctor Blackwood and Doctor Hill as they attempt to save a transgender man from being made a humiliating and dehumanizing spectacle by the medical community at large by initiating a jailbreak and getting him the hell out of dodge. It鈥檚 all very exciting and nail-biting at the same time, because on one hand you don鈥檛 want anything bad to happen to these characters, while on the other, without this conflict there would be no book for us to read. I guess that's kind of obvious, huh? I think this story handles the subject matter as well as it possibly can because it never shies away from the mistreatment and constant danger that queer people of the time were victim to, and yet it also never makes queer trauma the sole focus of book in some kind of show of horrifying shock value. The story is laced with tension, sure, and the profound danger trans people are always in for just existing is never sidestepped or ignored, but The Doctor鈥檚 Discretion never uses traumatic experiences as a simple story beat or even worse鈥� torture porn disguised as a misguided 鈥渓esson鈥� about how terrible the times were. Let鈥檚 be real, all times were and are terrible, queer people hardly need the constant reminder of stories being all like, "Hey, you deal with this awful bigotry, you know that, right?" and it's like, yeah dude, we know. Anyway, I wasn鈥檛 too sure if I鈥檇 like this book at first due to its depiction of period accurate mindsets of the times (the 1830鈥檚? Yikes!) and I was worried that I鈥檇 come out the other end not liking any of the characters. The thing is, normally in historical-fiction the main characters are unusually forward thinking for the time, and I know that a lot of people hate this because it鈥檚 鈥渦nrealistic鈥� or whatever, but I usually don鈥檛 mind it. In fact, I kind of count on it, because the truth is that if a character is throwing out slurs left and right, then I鈥檓 just not going to like them. The end.
My problem is that even despite all that, I just know that it doesn鈥檛 actually take too much for me to turn on the stuff that I鈥檓 currently engaging in, even if I'm into it. I didn鈥檛 like The Weeknd鈥檚 鈥渇inal鈥� album, 鈥淗urry Up Tomorrow鈥� as much as I鈥檇 hoped due in no small part to his garbage show The Idol, I stopped listening to HAIM specifically because of the choreography to 鈥淚 Know Alone,鈥� and I have an unnecessarily strong dislike of the 鈥淗ot Ones鈥� host because he sucks and I don鈥檛 like him. Like, I've blocked people who leave bad reviews of The Song of Achilles, that鈥檚 just how I am and I'm sorry. Going into this book, I had to actively turn the switch on my Negative Nancy mindset in order to avoid randomly turning on it. 鈥�It鈥檚 all a part of the process of story-telling! It鈥檚 all a part of the process of story-telling!鈥� Besides, I know disliking unlikable characters is hardly a good reason to disengage from the story, because only using art as an escape from reality isn鈥檛 the most productive way of consuming literature, so I鈥檓 definitely trying to unlearn that base instinct of mine. Please excuse this moment of clarity, but I'm having one right now! I mean, I liked I Am Legend, I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream, and The Mist despite the fact that I didn鈥檛 particularly like anybody in them. Also, I have to remind myself that a lot of authors who write books featuring queer folks or folks of color (or both) often write like they're walking on a tightrope because they feel like readers can be excessively critical whenever they don't fit the "wholesome" mold. Like, our stories have to be "good" representation and can't have characters who are a little bit mean and rude and they sometimes can't even learn a valuable lesson throughout the story or else you risk people turning on the book or the movie or the whatever. And I think it's notable how E.E. Ottoman completely disregarded the notion that queer characters of color have to come out the gate fully formed and completely enlightened, that he didn't write these characters infantilized and respected the reader enough to allow us to make our own minds up about them and judge accordingly. And if nothing else, I just think we should always thank authors who avoid Michael Schur's overly self-indulgent yet guiltily eager-to-please prose. Thanks authors! I鈥檓 glad I gave this book a chance because it was a delight to find that this isn鈥檛 a book about bigotry towards queer folks, it isn鈥檛 even a book about survival and fear, but rather it鈥檚 a book about companionship and happiness that can be found when allowing yourself a moment of vulnerability. There鈥檚 a lot of fear in what might happen if things go wrong, but what if it goes right? What then, huh? What then!?!? Sorry, that was a little aggressive. The Doctor鈥檚 Discretion is a beautiful story that serves as a reminder, maybe not a gentle one, mind you, but a reminder nonetheless that when it comes to solidarity, there is no such thing as picking and choosing. We鈥檙e in this together and we鈥檒l get through it together.
鈥淚鈥檓 doing this because there is a better chance than you might think of me ending up where you were, and I would like to think; if that happened, that someone would do the same for me.鈥�...more
Every move that we make scented candles reflect it all / And our shadows are locked in a dance on the bedroom wall (Peep Show 鈥� Joe).
Let's rewind the Every move that we make scented candles reflect it all / And our shadows are locked in a dance on the bedroom wall (Peep Show 鈥� Joe).
Let's rewind the clock back maybe a year and we'd find ourself in a world where this book was super popular here on 欧宝娱乐 (meaning that I saw it more than once while scrolling down the timeline), and I thought hey, that looks pretty cute and figured that I should check it out someday in the future. Well, we've reached that day and now I realize that all I am is a guy who's way late to the party sitting here with a finished book that was just okay. It was well worth the wait? Okay, that鈥檚 a little dramatic, because I actually don鈥檛 have strong enough opinions about this book to where it can even evoke the kinds of emotions that would leave me writing a long ass rant about it whatsoever鈥� but hey, that鈥檚 never stopped me before! Anyway, I probably take these kinds of stories a little too seriously, because even though everything about this book is telling me to sit back and relax, I鈥檓 still over here trying to figure out the logistics of the world building while Chucky the Chuckler over here is cracking ten jokes a minute. Only three paragraphs of this book鈥檚 prose and I was already saying stuff like 鈥�Alrighty, let鈥檚 wrap it up!鈥� Just tell me more about this fantasy world鈥檚 society! My biggest issue here is that most of the world-building operates on the notion that we all know common fantasy tropes going into it, so there doesn't need to be any kind of exposition. I know that might sound like an immense relief to a lot of readers, but let me tell you that I'm of the opinion that just because your story is covering very common tropes, it doesn't mean that you can skimp out on the natural ways to tell a story. Like yeah, we all know what an author means when they talk about Elves and Orcs, but what do these cultures mean in the context of this specific story!? Are we just supposed to go off of Lord of the Rings logic or one of the other millions of fantasy books that use the same shit!? Because otherwise, why even read this book if it doesn't want to shake things up even a little bit? I'll just go ahead and (try) to read Lord of the Rings again! I mean, even Skyrim, for all of its faults, has vastly different lore for all of the common fantasy races that it uses in its setting, like how different the history of vampires would be in a world that doesn't have a Count Dracula (or Orlok if you're trying to avoid copyright). Or how the game will at least call their races different names like with the Dwemer or the Falmer to give things a little variety. Is this book trying to be Lord of the Rings or Skyrim? Nope, but I'm just saying, I never want to read a fantasy story that feels like it's written by short-hand.
Anyway, for what it's worth, I do think this book did a good enough job at involving me in the story despite the fact that the short length and overly modern prose held it back in most regards. As for the premise though, this book is about an Orc name Orlok鈥� wait no, that鈥檚 Nosferatu鈥檚 name鈥� um let me check real quick鈥� this book is about an Orc named Berklak being hired by the necromancer prince, Lawton, to investigate a curse or disease or a whatever spreading throughout the land that makes people uncharacteristically aggressive. Woah, where did that come from? It鈥檚 a surprisingly involved plot considering the cover gives off some serious Deviant Art vibes (not shade, I love the cover)! But I'd probably have to warn folks that you shouldn't exactly go into this book expecting a totally complete and fulfilling story, what with all one hundred pages of this basically just being set-up for the adventure that the characters will probably go on in the next book. Not cool. I remember reading this manga called Yamato Gens艒ki back in the day that got cancelled half way through, and in a last ditch effort to give it some kind of satisfying ending, the author literally wrote it so the last page was the characters looking off into the sunset with the parting words saying that the main character's journey was "just beginning!" And not to be facetious, but the journey was clearly ending, my dude. Yeah well, I'm sorry to say that I Went on an Adventure and All I Got Was This Barbarian Orc gave off the same vibes as a manga that was cancelled mid-way through. I know, I know, this is literally 鈥減art one鈥� of a bigger thing and that there's a complete series out there just waiting for me to read them so I can stop complaining, but I maintain even if a story is made with a sequel in mind, it should still have a satisfying pay-off right here and now. It鈥檚 like how the suits at Netflix and Disney Plus keep insisting on marketing their shows as 鈥�6 hour movie events鈥� rather than wanting make their T.V. shows into鈥� engaging T.V. shows. And because they do this, they forget that one episode of T.V. still means that you should at the very least have a satisfying beginning, middle, and end! Mini stories that complete the overarching narrative. This is the way it's always been done and it hasn't changed now just because streaming services only seem to know how to make seasons of television consisting of six to eight episodes that come out every five years!
Sorry to six hour movie enjoyers, but single episodes of T.V. still need to reach the same emotional story beats that you would in a movie, just in a more condensed format. You can't just write it so every episode leaves off on a cliff-hanger to get people watching every week but then to avoid the "washed out" accusations, begin promoting a guy running through a series of hallways on some kind of complicated camera mechanism in the hopes that people will still think your show is "high art." You still got to adhere to the basics of story-telling! That鈥檚 why most shows on those streaming platforms just feel like they鈥檙e endlessly meandering and don鈥檛 go anywhere until the final episode (Book of Boba Fett, The Mandaloran season 3, and Ms. Marvel), it鈥檚 because the writers are too focused on the big picture that they forget the importance of making the journey as interesting as it can be right now! You probably get my point by now, but like I said, that鈥檚 what this book made me think of; waiting and waiting for the story to get to the good part and then it ended. Shit, I might just avoid part two out of resentment. But otherwise, the only reason why it seems like I鈥檓 laying into I Went on an Adventure and All I Got Was This Barbarian Orc a little harsher than I normally would is because there were moments during my reading experience where small bits of greatness would break through the quirky and self-aware prose and showed me a much better story. Yeah, again that鈥檚 a little on the dramatic side, but I just want you to know that my feelings for this book are less about criticism and more about journaling my disappointment in what could have been! I'm sure that lots of folks will be really into this story, and that's really cool. Super cool, man. I already talked about how surprisingly interesting the plot was, but I also thought that our two main characters, Berklak and Lawton (or Orlok and Dalton if I鈥檓 typing with my eyes closed), had an incredibly strong sense of identity despite the overly humorous tone to the story, and I really enjoyed how unique they felt as pov narrators while also clearly seeing how their personalities would go well together when they eventually meet. Berklak is a Half-Orc who belongs to so many different guilds throughout this half-baked, generic fantasy world that you鈥檇 think they were written by Todd Howard, while Lawton is a prince who鈥檚 ostracized for practicing an outlawed form of magic. Don't worry though, he thankfully holds back his worst impulses in a show of characterization that makes him feel like the embodiment of a writer鈥檚 pent up rage.
I mean, I do have to admit that they both felt a little overpowered for the setting they're in the same way those Isekai manga always have their characters waa~aay stronger than anyone else, and I really do think that this kind of characterization only ever helps to remove narrative tension that could have otherwise been had. It's soo~ooo lazy! And I didn't like how the book would literally have it so characters stated that they were a "Level 4 sorcerer" or whatever in universe and it's like... am I in a video game? And like games, don't get me wrong, but different mediums shouldn't be transferred over verbatim, they should be translated. I want my books to feel like books, my video games to feel like video games, and I especially want television to feel like television! Otherwise, I did appreciate the restraint the author showed in having Berklak and Lawton separated until about the half-way mark, because it gave us enough time get to know them and see their motivations without the story being encumbered by the romance side-plot. Because damn, when they do finally meet up, things instantly heat up. Psst ouch! Lawton鈥檚 inner monologue quickly evolves from resentment over his family troubles into him just wanting to know how many inches the Orc鈥檚 *elephant noise* is, that鈥檚 what they call a 鈥�fruit-by-the-foot!鈥� har har. I also thought it was pretty interesting how Lawton showed almost no sexual interest for most the story, having not had sex with anyone but himself for ten years prior, that is until he's introduced to Berklak and immediately turns into the horniest man on the planet. You might call this inconsistent writing, but you know what they say鈥� what鈥檚 a goon to a goblin heh heh. But really though, seeing as fantasy races are already commonly used as a generalized proxy for real life cultures, this book鈥檚 heavier emphasis on the Orc race having large members and their prowess in bed came across as thinly-veiled racialized fetishism. But who knows, it鈥檚 probably not that deep. And even though I found this book to be kind of dumb, maybe I鈥檒l end up remembering it more fondly the longer I stay away from it? if there鈥檚 one thing I鈥檝e learned, it鈥檚 that if a thing is around for long enough (like, two months), eventually it鈥檒l get hit with the nostalgic 鈥�underrated masterpiece" beam. You know, where a hated thing will later be heralded as being 鈥�good actually! The critics were wrong!鈥� I mean, look at how everybody loves Adam Sandler now even though it was pretty common place to hate his stuff back in the day. But nah, now we all think he鈥檚 a pioneer of comedy, his legacy unmatched. Like, we鈥檙e just all going to forget Little Nicky exists, huh? I guess passage of time can be kind. Hey, ask me about this book tomorrow and I might have a completely new review for you.
鈥淚鈥檓 a middle child; of course I want love.鈥�...more
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