I love poetry and I’d like to think that poetry loves me too.
Excerpt from ‘Another Awkward Stage of Convalescence�
“� I told her I was over her by preteI love poetry and I’d like to think that poetry loves me too.
Excerpt from ‘Another Awkward Stage of Convalescence�
“� I told her I was over her by pretending I was just a friend calling to say the snowdrops had nuzzled through dirt to shake their bells in April wind. This threw her off the scent of my anguish
as did the cement mixer of my voice, as did the long pause during which I memorized her breathing and stared at my toes like we were still together, reading until our eyes slid from the page and books fell off the bed to pound
their applause as our tongues searched each others� bodies.�...more
At surface level this book has great insight as to what transmen face when transitioning at work. But diving deeper, Schilt’s research is heavily baseAt surface level this book has great insight as to what transmen face when transitioning at work. But diving deeper, Schilt’s research is heavily based on white transmen and fails to represent transmen of color (this is something she is honest about in the beginning of the book). In the appendix she explains that many transmen she reached out to did not feel comfortable participating in her research and many stealth transmen did not want to out themselves in order to participate. This is all completely understandable. Her research also has a wide range of ages. She compares the differences and similarities between transmen in the 80s and the early 2000s and how their experiences varied. I do wish she widen her demographic and areas where she conducted her research, as this was solely based on residents of California and Texas. I would love for her to revisit this topic and see how different it is to transition in the 2010s and 2020s.
In one chapter she also highlights the differences between transmen and transwomen transitioning in the workplace. Transmen are much more privileged as they more often than not pass, have the ability to be stealth, and also benefit from the patriarchal system within the workplace.
Overall, this book really opened my eyes. I have always known how privileged I am as a white passing transman, and this has further reinstilled how much I have benefitted from that. I’ve been on both sides of this research: being stealth and openly transitioning in my workplace. It’s very interesting to see how similar my experiences are to many other transmen.
“Other transmen openly transition at work because they view it as activism. ‘I want to maintain an openness about my transition. Being openly trans so that I can educate people.’�...more
Enough of this “right person wrong time� bs. Frustrating!!
“I wanted no secrets, no screens, nothing between us. Little did I know that if I relished tEnough of this “right person wrong time� bs. Frustrating!!
“I wanted no secrets, no screens, nothing between us. Little did I know that if I relished the gust of candor that bound us tighter each time we swore ‘my body is your body�, it was also because I enjoyed rekindling the tiny lantern of unsuspected shame. It cast a spare glow precisely where part of me would have preferred the dark. Shame trailed instant intimacy. Could intimacy endure once indecency was spent and our bodies had run out of tricks? � Was our intimacy paid for in the wrong currency?�...more
This book is going to put me into a deep rabbit hole. Everything about this was fascinating. How often to we get the chance to read works of history wThis book is going to put me into a deep rabbit hole. Everything about this was fascinating. How often to we get the chance to read works of history where the author was so involved with the people they’re writing about? There’s no denying that Vasari is extremely biased towards Western Italian artists, and especially towards Michelangelo, but regardless, the amount of detail and first hand accounts he provides is unparalleled. ...more
It took me a while to really get into this book, hence the 3 weeks it took me to finish it. Halfway into chapter 3 Simone is finally 18 and starting tIt took me a while to really get into this book, hence the 3 weeks it took me to finish it. Halfway into chapter 3 Simone is finally 18 and starting to live her live as she wants. I found this book all too relatable. Growing up in a very religious home, unlearning all you’ve been taught and finally discovering who you are.
“‘I don’t want life to obey any other will but my own,� I wrote in my journal. Here I think lay the root of my anguish I knew almost nothing of physical reality; in my class of society it was masked by conventions and rituals; these tedious formalities bored me, but I didn’t attempt to seize the root of existence; on the contrary, I found escape in the cloud; I was a soul, a pure, disembodied spirit; I was only interested in people’s souls and spirits.�...more
I could not put this book down. The storytelling and writing is captivating. Certain details withheld until the final chapters, until the right time.
LI could not put this book down. The storytelling and writing is captivating. Certain details withheld until the final chapters, until the right time.
Long ass quote (not sorry):
“Something had happened in the process of writing it down and getting rid of it - internal made external made internal again - in this alchemy, internal resentment got transformed to external love, and I loved everything and everyone in those pages simply because they were there, and, as the the inventory disappeared, I loved it still because I had love within me. And once it was within, it could only move out, forward, up, externally toward what I see and feel.�...more
This book reminds me why I love short stories. Exile and the Kingdom is a beautiful example of how we can explore different themes of humanity throughThis book reminds me why I love short stories. Exile and the Kingdom is a beautiful example of how we can explore different themes of humanity through seemingly disconnected stories. Camus explores a longing for freedom, abandonment, existential confusion, alienation from society, morality, isolation and exile. They all intertwine seamlessly together.
“Where the muscles are at play, work in the end is a curse, it precedes death and evenings of great effort, sleep is truly like death.�...more
We are all “traces of the people we rub up against.�
How much of my life and experiences can be credited to my friends? My partners? So much of what I�We are all “traces of the people we rub up against.�
How much of my life and experiences can be credited to my friends? My partners? So much of what I’ve experienced from people has shaped who I am. And every interaction has the opportunity to change your life.
I’ll give a high rating to anything that makes me tear up as quickly as this book did.
“Like most people who’ve been abandoned I held the simple hope of never having to see her again; I felt this in the very nature of a separation, and if I couldn’t have her all the time, I didn’t want her at all, didn’t want to hear her name or see her face or anything else that might make me remember her kisses (on my lips).�...more
“That was an easier way to go through life - on the margins, more observer than participant.�
This book just went on and on but never actually got anyw“That was an easier way to go through life - on the margins, more observer than participant.�
This book just went on and on but never actually got anywhere. Quite boring....more
“I have always lived with the awareness of the impossibility of living. And what has made existence endurable to me is my curiosity as to how I would “I have always lived with the awareness of the impossibility of living. And what has made existence endurable to me is my curiosity as to how I would get from one minute, one day, one year to the next.�
I love one liners, which is the entirety of this book. Some chapters were painfully boring, but for most I found myself re-reading multiple times. ...more
I love poetry. People got something to say and I’m here to listen.
An excerpt from “Self-Portrait with Cylindrical Snowstorm and Tired Pony Playing�
“W±ðI love poetry. People got something to say and I’m here to listen.
An excerpt from “Self-Portrait with Cylindrical Snowstorm and Tired Pony Playing�
“W±ð know only the extremity of what we feel and what we do, and for us there can be only these soft collisions, lived life, the more and the more of the road - the snow’s hypnotic.â€�...more
The story was lost on me, but any story about losing someone and processing grief will have my attention.
“…you couldn’t die and let me fend for myselThe story was lost on me, but any story about losing someone and processing grief will have my attention.
“…you couldn’t die and let me fend for myself. You had to make sure the slate would be wiped clean for me too, so maybe I could start a new life. It’s what we who are bereaved like to call ‘settling affairs,� only you were doing it for me from beyond the grave, like you knew I would be too busy trying to crawl into the casket to sweat the small stuff.�...more
I love when authors explore other genres. You can see Nelson’s gift for poetry shining through.
“For to wish to forget how much you loved someone - andI love when authors explore other genres. You can see Nelson’s gift for poetry shining through.
“For to wish to forget how much you loved someone - and then, to actually forget - can feel, at time, like the slaughter of a beautiful bird who chose, by nothing short of grace, to make a habitat of your heart.�...more
How can you stand to watch someone you love, or once loved, slowly die while you both know the harm you’ve caused?
Fun little story and fast paced. I dHow can you stand to watch someone you love, or once loved, slowly die while you both know the harm you’ve caused?
Fun little story and fast paced. I do wish there was more to it, it felt rushed and lacking in character development and back story.
“To pay attention to something you don’t understand when there is such an alluring narrative waiting to take over your thoughts proves undoable.�...more
De Beauvoir beautifully balances her feeling of emotional detachment and an ever present connection to her late mother. Even before her passing we seeDe Beauvoir beautifully balances her feeling of emotional detachment and an ever present connection to her late mother. Even before her passing we see how she has already come to terms with her mother’s inevitable death.
“It is useless to try to integrate life and death and to behave rationally in the presence of something that is not rational: each must manage as well as he can in the tumult of his feelings. I can understand all last wishes and the total absence of them: the hugging of the bones or the abandonment of the body of the one you love to the common grave.�...more
I’d kill my husband too if he was that fcking boring.
“‘It’s difficult to know what we have inside of us. We’re here today and gone today. I’ve never uI’d kill my husband too if he was that fcking boring.
“‘It’s difficult to know what we have inside of us. We’re here today and gone today. I’ve never understood myself properly.’�...more
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