Read this on recommendation from my social worker friend. I liked it. It sort of brought to my awareness even emotional issues lurking in my spouse anRead this on recommendation from my social worker friend. I liked it. It sort of brought to my awareness even emotional issues lurking in my spouse and I that probably came from the way we were raised. And it was interesting to see the tactics that we innocently use commonly that we were unaware weren't really great strategies - like using distraction to help your child get over something rather than helping them work through and express the emotion. I'm really hoping that I can raise emotionally aware boys and adjust my parenting a little using his strategies to help develop that....more
Great book. Story really kept you interested and reading even though it was such a long book. The identical twins were what first caught my attention!Great book. Story really kept you interested and reading even though it was such a long book. The identical twins were what first caught my attention! Everyone I've recommended it to has really liked it....more
I have to say I was worried that this would be hard for me to get through and that it might be drudgery, but that turned out not to be the case at allI have to say I was worried that this would be hard for me to get through and that it might be drudgery, but that turned out not to be the case at all. I didn't even know enough about history that it could even be a page turner for me since I was always anxious to find out what happened next. I think having lived in New York made it even more fascinating for me listening to them talk about all the familiar places I know but covered with British and American troops or hearing about the Hudson and the East rivers lined with British ships. Also flying over Boston and New York while I was reading about them was an awesome aerial map of everything I was reading about and really helped the perspective. I loved how unbiased he tried to be, showing strengths and weaknesses of the men equally. There were so many things I didn't know or realize about that war, America at the time, and the leaders that founded our nation. I really enjoyed it. I guess I only wish there was a follow-up volume so I could really finish the story....more
Here's what I posted on my blog after reading this book:
I just read this book. I'm so surprised I haven't heard of it earlier! It was great. (I mean gHere's what I posted on my blog after reading this book:
I just read this book. I'm so surprised I haven't heard of it earlier! It was great. (I mean great as in content, of course it's non-fiction and not a page-turner like some suspense novel.) If you're looking to become converted and passionate about reading to your kids and reading in general you need to check it out. I just happened to see a friend list her review on the Å·±¦ÓéÀÖ website and I was intrigued that she said she'd read the Stuart Little chapter book with her son who is Cash's age after getting the idea from this book and he loved it. So I checked out the book and the arguments and evidence of what an effect it can have on kids - so much more than all the other programs government is trying to enforce - are so compelling, yet simple, it makes you wonder why we don't realize it. This may become one of my new first-time parent baby gifts - love your child, give them a good home, and here is one of the other best gifts you can give them! It would be a great book for educators to read as well and makes me really want to get my kids into a school that really encourages reading, especially just for the love of reading, not just for fear of being tested.
I'm sure I should thank my mom for all the reading she did to me as a child (I think sometimes 30+ books a day, she recorded in her journal); and un-thank college for scaring me away for reading for a good 7 years after all that forced reading totally turned me off from it. I'm only finally recovering. It also made me feel less guilty for reading around my kids. I usually feel like I'm being lazy and ignoring them so I can read, so I usually just do it on my own time when they're in bed, but this emphasizes how important it is for your kids to see you doing it for pleasure. Just like how readily they imitate you talking on the cell phone.
It's been fun to start testing out the book and realize that my kids have a better attention span for reading than I thought. As soon as I open a book and start reading, all three come join me and we read for a good half hour before I'm the one that gets tired of being squished by three kids and needs a break! And I've realized it's so much better for me to do this at any time of day - I'm so sick of the kids after the frenzy of the bedtime routine and always in a rush that I realized those few minutes can't count as my only quality reading time.
I also love that the book only singled out one library in the U.S. as a shining example of what modern libraries should be like - the Salt Lake City Public Library. Way to go!
The back of the book also has a treasury of read-aloud books which will be great since I'm not too familiar with children's literature. I borrowed it from the library but I may get my own copy to have on hand.
Anyway, go read it if you haven't! And who knows, maybe most of you already have and I'm like the last person on the planet to ever hear of it - in which case I can't believe you didn't suggest it to me! ...more
I actually felt smarter after having read this book, which (unfortunately) I can't say about everything I read. :) I found myself tearing up frequentlI actually felt smarter after having read this book, which (unfortunately) I can't say about everything I read. :) I found myself tearing up frequently as I read the book, realizing the wonderfully touching moments and sacrifices that truly helped bring beauty out of ashes. It did seem to take me a long time to get through it, but it really was a great read. Makes you want to make a difference in the world. ...more
There were some good ideas and a few gems and funny stories I took away from this book. I laugh a bit at how much of an 80s mom you can tell she is - There were some good ideas and a few gems and funny stories I took away from this book. I laugh a bit at how much of an 80s mom you can tell she is - stuff they did back then that you'd never get away with now! Of course it's nice to hear that her life was crazy too and that she'd yell at her kids sometimes or whatever and they all turned out great.
I think it was a bit overwhelming to me personally how many "systems" they seem to have. At first I was like - oh this is a good idea... then by the end I was like - more systems? More structured this or that? I'm sure with 9 kids that's how you have to be. I just don't know if I'd ever list my day down to the minute or have certain things we do on certain days of the week. I may think differently when my kids are older and I have more to keep track of though. But it did make me think that some lists and goals and structure would be good - especially with the things you want to teach your children. I found myself realizing if you don't think that out and set goals and times for it to happen you probably just realize one day that your kids are grown and you're not sure you taught them what you wanted them to learn.
I did think it was really good for me to see some of her examples of how a faithful family deals with things, getting answers, prayer, that kind of thing. Made me want to step it up a little.
I guess I also just realize no mothering book is going to have all the answers and solve your life like you wish they would! I didn't always love her writing style (but hey, I don't love my own either) and thought some of it was just her telling cool stories about her life and then tying it in to motherhood for a sentence or two. I'd be interested in reading some of their other books though....more
**spoiler alert** (Don't read this if you haven't read it yet.)
Hmmm. Hmmm. I'm still deciding how I totally feel about this one. I'm not sure it's how**spoiler alert** (Don't read this if you haven't read it yet.)
Hmmm. Hmmm. I'm still deciding how I totally feel about this one. I'm not sure it's how I would have written the last book. I was happy she ended up with Peeta, but sheesh, you don't even like him anymore by the end anyway since he's had about zero part in the book and when he did he was trying to kill her, bitter or negative - and since it had been so long since I'd read the others the old Peeta was pretty far from my memory to at least draw on. I thought it was a good way to wrap up the book and make the choice between the two easy - but why did it all wrap up in ONE paragraph? Seriously? Give me some happy moments to hang on to at least to feel complete about it ending up that way.
And honestly - why did she have to kill off practically everyone? And so fast? I was ticked that Finnick died and I didn't even have 1 second to mourn, when normally I probably would have cried at that part. That whole suicide mission into the capital seemed almost like a stupid waste since everyone died and she never even made it to her goal and then the rebels came in and ended it anyway.
And what was with all of them voting to have another hunger games for the capital's children at the end? It was so weird that she threw that in there when it never happened anyway, and it wasn't even believable to me that they would vote yes - especially after Katniss was so into being noble and not killing innocent people this time. And after how messed up they all were from their own hunger games I wouldn't believe that they would vote to put other people through it.
Ok, but I couldn't put it down of course, of course I liked reading it, I'm just not sure that's how I would have ended the series, with everyone so messed up, unstable and unlikable. I realize that's what war does to people and that was probably her point that no one is ever the same, it's just hard to hang on to your favorite characters when they're all in a mental ward....more
A few months ago a friend blogged about a book she had read. Seeing how it seemed to have an impact on her and rHere's what I put on my blog about it:
A few months ago a friend blogged about a book she had read. Seeing how it seemed to have an impact on her and respecting her as a seriously amazing mom, I decided to pick it up. She was right. It was one of those books that I would try to relay to Ryan after every chapter I read. (And he even listened, which is sort of, um, rare.) It's obviously a little older than the stage my kids are at, but I'm glad I read it before I get to that point where your kids are annoyed when you're around and just want to be with their friends, because it also seems like something you should just make your lifestyle. Practice makes perfect, and it would be nice to get it figured out before you really need it, you know? Besides the fact that it's not like it happens overnight, and I was amazed to see how early on the seeds of peer orientation are sewn.
Part of the basic idea is that the natural order is for things to be passed on from older generations to the younger ones - knowledge, ideas, values, how to act, talk, dress, etc. It's that way in all of nature - animals and humans. Or it used to be. In the last few generations there has been a huge shift in that kids now look more to their peers for this information rather than adults. So much so, that I didn't even realize it wasn't normal when I was first reading this book! But as the author says, anyone reading the book probably grew up that way and so we don't even realize it's a problem. So now we have generations of immature children - being raised by other immature children. Even language and vocabulary has dropped as a result because they're getting their language (or lack thereof) from each other. His idea is that this has resulted in a whole lot of the issues that we see in society now - children who want nothing to do with adults, can't socialize with adults, children who are more aggressive, more calloused, don't feel emotion, don't engage in meaningful relationships, have their curiosity stamped out because it's not "cool," are more sexually promiscuous with less feeling about it, families falling apart, parents who have lost the power to parent their children, and kids who will follow their skewed instincts to stay close to their peers at all costs. His theory is that we all have a basic instinct or need for attachment, and when that is not met or strong enough with parents, kids will shift that need to peers to fill it, with the costly loss of parental attachment, which causes parents to lose the power to parent their children because the children are no longer looking to them for cues about anything.
I'd love to tell you all the great ideas from the whole book, but I wouldn't do it justice and really you should just read it. It really has made me think a lot about my own life, my own parenting, and did make me notice a lot of the things that did go right. Like my mom always having lots of big family dinners. We always had extended family around and always intermingled with the generations, playing games and talking. I also think of how much the church is inspired in this way - from it's strong emphasis on families and family time, to always ensuring that there were caring adults who played a big part in your life (leaders and Sunday school teachers and such) and helped your own parents get to know people you were associating with better, along with their families. It also made me resolve to be a better friend to other kids - to get to know my friend's kids better or other kids at church who could benefit from another caring adult in their life. I'll admit - this is hard for me. I've never been a real kid person, so having my own children I've had to be totally focused inward just to take care of my own little family, especially once the twins came along. I have a hard enough time paying attention to my own kids, let alone someone else's, but I always love it when friends have a genuine interest in my kids. And that's part of his suggestions is to have a big network of caring adults, family members, and friends to be a part of your children's lives. To help them attach to other positive adults rather than to a bunch of peers you know nothing about and that they want to leave your company to spend every waking minute with. He says, "The greater the number of caring adults in a child's life, the more immune he or she will be to peer orientation."
It did, however, make me more anxious about sending my kids to school here, especially given their personalities, and made me realize where you live and what kind of neighborhood and school area you're in could possibly have a huge impact on how your kids grow up - for better or worse. I was also interested to see how much applied to teachers and teaching and how much attachment plays a part in learning.
I even thought some of the advice was applicable to my marriage - like remembering the relationship is more important than the behavior. That's a good one. And that filling someone's need for attention when they're begging for it really doesn't fill the need; it's only when it's spontaneously given that it really satisfies. (Um, ok, that one wasn't actually for me. HINT.)
The one thing I didn't like as much was that even though the things he was suggesting seemed to point to it, he never said much about how staying home with your kids rather than working would be a good idea. I'm pretty sure his own wife and mother must have worked out of the home because he just sort of brushed it off as not being practical in today's world and just told you how to deal with it since you would probably be out working. It just seemed like so many other things he was suggesting were different from the societal norm that it seems like he could have given it some weight as at least being beneficial to your children and worth the effort to make it work.
Anyway, all in all, the author is not saying friends are bad, just that there should be adults around, and ideally you would be involved with your children and their friends and their families. He even goes into better ways to discipline to help preserve your relationship with your kids rather than hurt it. That's going to take some creativity on my part and I'll have to see what works for us.
Even with how much I liked the book though, I'll have to say it did take me about 3 or 4 months to read it. I just have trouble when they're not gripping page-turners! Alright, enough already, but I highly recommend it! ...more
I really enjoyed this book. All the funny little things that made up their crazy life were so charming - from the disposal to their wild chicken... itI really enjoyed this book. All the funny little things that made up their crazy life were so charming - from the disposal to their wild chicken... it really made me think that some of that real life stuff was funnier than anything you could have come up with. I felt like I took some real gems from this book about being happy and how crying that life isn't fair is just a waste of energy that you could put towards something productive anyway. And just the chances of everything that happened in that book are amazing! Thought it was a fun read for a true story. And made me realize my life isn't so crazy after all!...more
Some parts of the book really were charming but at times I did wish it would just get over with. It also made me really examine why it seems people inSome parts of the book really were charming but at times I did wish it would just get over with. It also made me really examine why it seems people in society have grown so dull, when it seems people used to have nothing to do but chat and find interesting things to talk about. I didn't really feel satisfied by the ending though, especially when I felt I'd read all day just to get to it. ...more
This was a good book that I'd seen another friend read. I checked it out from the library but it seems like it could be a good book to have handy as aThis was a good book that I'd seen another friend read. I checked it out from the library but it seems like it could be a good book to have handy as a reference when behaviors you don't like come up. I'm especially thinking that the twins will take a little more effort to control than Cash. :)It also made me happy to see that we were already doing quite a few of the things this book suggests, and I like that you don't have to have constant time-outs to get the behavior you want.
The book was broken up into easily digestable chapters and sections and had a quick reference at the back. Her overall theory is that attention of any form tacks a behavior into place; therefore, you praise behaviors you want more of, ignore the ones you dislike and take action for behaviors that are intolerable. ...more
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