"Hey Tim," I say to myself as I light a cigarette. "We're going to review 'Human-Shaped Fiends' by Chandler Morrison. We need to go meta."
"Well Self,""Hey Tim," I say to myself as I light a cigarette. "We're going to review 'Human-Shaped Fiends' by Chandler Morrison. We need to go meta."
"Well Self," I reply to myself as it would be rude of me to not answer. "Why do we need to鈥� are you smoking? You don't smoke."
"Well currently, I'm a meta-parody of myself, and I think it would be funnier if I was a chain smoking review who鈥�"
"We're not doing that. That's not meta. This joke is becoming less meta and more of like signs of insanity."
"Trust me, that works for this review too."
"What am I'm I getting into with this book?"
"Trust me, even if I explained, you still would have no idea鈥� but it's going to be fun."
__________________________
Human-Shaped Fiends is the 11th in Death's Head Press's Splatter Western series (all stand alone novels, so fear not if you want to start here or with any of the others) and it proves beyond a doubt how many more directions they can take this series. These books have been consistently entertaining since the first, and while I have not read all eleven, I've read a decent amount and there have only been one misfire for me, so I think that says a lot about the consistency of these books. Now, personally the first one (The Magpie Coffin) was the best of the books and has been a tough act to follow up. While I've enjoyed pretty much everything, nothing has really competed with that first one鈥� until now. This one is easily my favorite of the lineup that I've read. I'd also say it's the most clever.
The plot seems fairly straight forward at first. A young band of teenagers start a killing spree and a sheriff is supposed to track them down. Sound like a fairly straight forward western scenario鈥� then the book cuts to the author Chandler Morrison discussing how he has no clue how to write a western in his own style. Maybe he should go meta? Maybe he should cut to himself trying to write the book and the struggles of being the guy who wrote Dead Inside (often cited as one of the most disgusting books ever written and has become something of a dare in some areas of the horror community) and how he feels like he has to cross off everything that he expects his fans want. This book is not going to be an artistic statement鈥� it's a product!
In doing this he has created one of the most fascinating books. He tells the readers the sections with him are a parody of himself and people he knows. He talks about going full "Charlie Kaufman in Adaptation meta" and proceeds to have a blast with it. One of my favorite moments is when he asks one of his friends what she thinks of the manuscript thus far. Her response:
"I don't like that you made me a smoker in your book," Autumn says, hitting her cigarette. "I've never been a smoker."
But everyone smokes in a Morrison novel, so even on the meta-side it's needed. At one point one of his friends asks him about how he's going to write this horror novel. He tells them it won't be horror, but satire. "I'm contracted to write a Western with lots of blood, a high body count, and some supernatural elements. Nothing says it has to be horror." There lies the genius of this one. He does all of those things he's required to do. The body count is high, the violence is gruesome and yes, there's more than a hint of the supernatural鈥� it's horror鈥� but it's really more of a comedy. A comedy about what we the readers expect from this series, and him as an author, and how one can conform to that without actually doing what is expected.
It's a bold move. It's fun move鈥� it's honestly one of the funniest damn books I've read in years with scenes that had me genuinely laughing out loud. Admittedly this is not a book for everyone. Some will be turned off by his meta self insert comedy鈥� but this one gets my highest recommendation to anyone who can stomach the violence and gore鈥� but even if the author says there's no reason for it, I assure you there is. A rare 5/5 stars....more
This is my third Splatter Western and the 9th published in the line (they are all stand-alone works, so they can be read in any order). I had extremelThis is my third Splatter Western and the 9th published in the line (they are all stand-alone works, so they can be read in any order). I had extremely high hopes for this one. I loved that this one was going to be a different take; where the other books embraced the western themes, this one was going to be more of a deconstruction. Here we were getting a different side of the story with Hispanic leads and a horror involving witchcraft and "manifest destiny". This had potential to be my favorite in the line.
I am disheartened to say it didn't work out well for me. The book is easily the shortest of the Splatter Westerns thus far, and while that makes for a fast paced story, it also really hurts it. The story feels disjointed. There are a lot of named characters, and had it been a longer book where we had more time to get to know them, that wouldn't be a problem. Instead characters are introduced and frequently killed a page or two later. There is no time to get to know them except for a few characters.
It's way too fast paced. I really wish this had been longer as not only would it give us more time to care about the characters, but also because it really felt like most of the book was setting up the plot. Really the entire thing is build up to the last ten pages, but that does not make for a very satisfying read.
The book is not all bad. As mentioned above, I like that we get a different side than the traditional western gunslingers. I like the almost anti-western feel of the book and I also found it's use of violence impressive. This is, of the three I've read, the least violent of the books in terms of how the killings are performed. That said, it's the most uncomfortable. The others operated under a sense that horror violence is "fun". If you're reading a series called "Splatter Westerns" you're probably here for a bit of blood and guts. This one delivers it鈥� but it's not as fun. The violence here is not entertaining, it's not cathartic and it's not "cool" action. The violence is instead quick, but brutal. It's more realistic (with a few stylize gory moments because鈥� well鈥� Splatter Western). It's more uncomfortable because it's not as over the top. It's more cruel and calculated. Frankly it's closer to Cormac McCarthy than a slasher. I know this may actually not be a plus for some readers, but honestly I found this refreshing. It makes me wish I liked the rest of the book more鈥� and indeed I think I would have had there been more time to take it a bit slower.
I often complain about books that could be edited down 50 pages and would be a better book. Here I think had it had 50 more, I would have likely liked it鈥� hell, I may have loved it. In its current form though? There are some good, even great aspects, but overall it just doesn't tell enough of a story. A disappointed 2/5 stars....more
Book 3 of Death's Head Press' Splatter Westerns series. Each of these books is a stand alone (though this one contains a nod to the previous book, butBook 3 of Death's Head Press' Splatter Westerns series. Each of these books is a stand alone (though this one contains a nod to the previous book, but it's an obvious one that can be noticed just from that book's title and more Easter egg than essential knowledge) and thus if you're interested, read them in whatever order interests you. I've personally read the first and now this one. So, why did I skip the second and go straight to this one? Honestly, because when I discovered the series, I picked up the first based on thinking a "Splatter Western" was a fun idea, but when this one was announced I was more intrigued by it than the second. Why? Because each of these seems to be tackling a different sub-genre of horror, and this one is the cosmic horror story. I may have issues with old H.P. Lovecraft, but I do love the ideas behind cosmic horror.
Plot: James Dee is a gunslinger, a drifter and a killer of gods. He's been looking for a little town called Dust for seven years, knowing that an elder god lies sleeping there. Along with a new companion, they find this mythic town... but so does a band of killers, whose intentions differ greatly from Dee's.
Well, did it live up to my exceptions? Eh... I guess it's fun at times, but not exactly what I was hoping for. Let's start with a few negative aspects. First off, there's a rather needless subplot that our lead comes from the future. No, this isn't a spoiler, in the first 20 pages he flat out says this. This aspect seemed... unnecessary. What was wrong with just a straight up cowboy hunting an elder god concept? Other than giving him a modern revolver, this didn't really add much to the story and seemed more liked padding.
Second issue with the book, the side character Denarius. When first introduced, I sat there going "oh, this could be interesting. We've got a black man in the book, so he could be here as almost a commentary on Lovecraft's racism as well as that of the time period. We can show him in a heroic light and put a bit of a positive spin on this." And indeed the book does try to do that to an extent, but some of his dialogue comes off as a stereotype and the author creates a problematic "white savior" plotpoint which made me cringe.
Positives: Mr. Bonham. Seriously one of the best villains I've read in this type of novel in some time. He's a side character, but easily the most memorable part. He's a sadist, more concerned with killing anything that moves and with little in terms of self preservation... and yet the character is executed almost perfectly. There's a wonderful scene where a monster is charging at him, and he's just calmly loading a shotgun with the sense of urgency of "a gentleman going on a stroll" and I couldn't help but kind of love him in a despising him sort of way. No spoilers, but his last scene in the novel, while a bit unexpected is also perfect for what was presented before.
The "otherness" of the eldritch abominations. They were appropriately... well, wrong, which is what is needed in a good cosmic horror novel.
Another good point, and this one needs a bit of a spoiler, (view spoiler)[but the fact that even though the book is fairly short, the author manages to pull off the entire second half being one extended action scene. Honestly, pacing-wise it's quite impressive, because it progresses naturally enough that it doesn't feel like an overlong shootout. (hide spoiler)]
Finally that cover. Really all of these Splatter Westerns have had wonderful cover art, but I truly love this one.
I debated on the rating for this one for quite some time. The more problematic aspects of the Denarious character really bothered me (and not in a good "this is horror and I'm supposed to be uncomfortable" sort of way) and a lot of aspects felt like padding... that said it was also a fun ride and I've got to give it points for that last shootout section. In the end I'd probably go with a 2.5 and round it up to 3 stars. Fun, but not the best. That said, I'll still be picking up more books in this Splatter Western series....more
I saw one reviewer describe this book as being like a "death metal Red Dead Redemption" which was one hell of a description, and good enough to make mI saw one reviewer describe this book as being like a "death metal Red Dead Redemption" which was one hell of a description, and good enough to make me buy the book... and it lived up to that description. If you don't mind though, let me give my own comparison. The Magpie Coffin is what would have happened if Sam Peckinpah (director of The Wild Bunch and Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Garcia) had teamed up with 1980s Clive Barker, and both had decided that they were going to work at their most nihilistic and violent.
In other words, this was great fun, but not a book to leave you feeling uplifted or hungry.
The book follows Salem Covington AKA the Black Magpie, an outlaw gunslinger with more than a bit of protection from devilish circles. He delights in killing, torturing and being an utter bastard. He's also the "hero" of the story. After a former teacher of his is killed by five men, Covington decides to go on a little trip, finding and then going about murdering (in creatively horrifying ways) each of the men.
Alright, let me first off say that this isn't exactly the most well written book I've ever read. There's a surprising number of typos and in one scene there is a person who descends a set of "stares," that promptly change to back to being proper stairs a sentence later. The descriptions are fairly workman-like with the exception of the violence which is described in vivid detail. People who have issues with such descriptions of mutilation, torture and a good deal of gunshot wounds will want to turn away.
What the book does right though is be damn entertaining. The cover reminds me a lot of the spaghetti westerns posters from the 70s, and that's the feel the book gives... just crossed way into horror territory as well. It's fun, the dialogue is a blast, and there's enough creativity to the revenge plot-line to keep you guessing.
This book is the first in a new series of "splatter westerns" from Death's Head Press. The books I believe are all going to be unconnected (though I feel there are aspects here that could be revisited if the publisher/author both choose to do so), and honestly it's kind of a brilliant idea. I didn't particularly know that I wanted splatterpunk westerns in my life, but after reading this one, I've discovered that I very much do want that.
This is certainly not a book for everyone, but anyone even slightly intrigued by my review would do well to look it up. 4/5 stars....more
Well this is exciting! When I put this book on goodreads I realized that it created an opportunity to make a new shelf as I hadn鈥檛 ever read a pure WeWell this is exciting! When I put this book on goodreads I realized that it created an opportunity to make a new shelf as I hadn鈥檛 ever read a pure Western before (Somewhat debatable as I had the book Six-Gun Tarot on my shelf before, which is very much a western, but also crossed with fantasy and horror鈥� and if that is something that sounds even slightly appealing, check it out because it is incredible). I love westerns from a cinematic standpoint, but never really had any desire to check them out as novels, as so much of the appeal is the cinematic nature of the genre for me (the shots and scenery are part of what breaks or makes a western for me), but I鈥檝e been on a bit of a Robert B. Parker kick and just happened to stumble upon this one and decided to give it a go.
This is Parker鈥檚 take on one of the most famous of old west figures, Wyatt Earp. Most of us with any love of the genre in any form (or of history itself for that matter) know the story to some extent already. The O.K. Corral itself has been the focus of more films than I can count鈥� and of course it is feature here, but it is neither the main focus nor the end. It is just another event in Earp鈥檚 life, a life that is presented from several facets. In fact, if I felt like setting up another shelf to sort through, I could put this under Romance as well, as the majority of the plot is taken up with Wyatt鈥檚 love of a woman named Josephine Marcus and how that sets in motion many of the events that will transpire as the novel progresses.
The novel is structured as several short chapters, mostly snippets of a scene that show small, but important events. This creates a quick pace to the book, which is great at keeping the reader (or at least this reader) involved and thinking 鈥渨ell, I guess I鈥檒l do one more chapter鈥� which is quickly repeated until you realized you did 20 more and you鈥檝e come another fifty pages than you intended.
This is both praise and a criticism. On one hand I love a book that absorbs me and gives me that 鈥渏ust a little bit more before I go to sleep鈥� mindset. It鈥檚 engrossing and if I鈥檓 reading for entertainment, that鈥檚 a positive sign. Unfortunately, this is a book that I really felt needed to take a breather and be a little broader. The quick pace means characters come and go with no explanation. A big example is Bat Masterson, who is a big enough figure that he could have his own book. Here he鈥檚 given a personality large enough that I was interested in what he would do, only for him to disappear after a few chapters without any sign that he was leaving.
The book also has some significant time jumps that can be a bit jarring. I found myself trying to figure out exactly how much time had passed on more than one occasion. Early on in the book there are some newspaper articles mixed in that helped with the timeline and with the setting as a whole. They set the stage nicely and could have been a great plot device but they just kind of dropped off, whereas they could have been used for great effect. For example, (view spoiler)[rather than a one page epilogue that told you what happened to all key players, it would have been nice to see all characters fates played out in those articles. (hide spoiler)]
There鈥檚 also several scenes in the book that feel unneeded. Parker jumps around so much, that some of the moments that he does focus on seem to be setting up a future scene, then get dismissed and never brought up again or only briefly mentioned in passing as having already been resolved. In fact the book as a whole feels like its building up to something only for things to play out fairly鈥� dull.
I know my review sounds like just a list of complaints, but I genuinely debated with myself over giving this book two or three stars. There are quite a few great scenes, and I truly liked Parker鈥檚 takes on the characters. On one hand there is a lot about it that I think really works, but the aspects that don鈥檛 really hurt it. In the end I am going with the two stars鈥� but a two star with a recommendation to genre fans. ...more
This is what would have happened if Sam Peckinpah (director of The Wild Bunch) had read the Cthulhu mythos and said 鈥淵eah, that鈥檚 something I can workThis is what would have happened if Sam Peckinpah (director of The Wild Bunch) had read the Cthulhu mythos and said 鈥淵eah, that鈥檚 something I can work with."
...
Please read that again. If it did not sell you on the book, I really don't think I can do any more.
This is without a doubt the most fun book read I鈥檝e had in quite some time. I won鈥檛 say it was perfect, but fun counts for a lot in my book, and this is pure entertainment from start to finish.
Sure, I could come up with som complaints. There are a lot of characters and some of them could have been fleshed out more. A few even felt like they were introduced as placeholders for future stories. The author also loves his flashbacks, and they happen a bit too frequently throughout the story鈥� that said, all these complaints feel minor when I examine the book as a whole.
While the book could be interpreted as the literary equivalent of a popcorn movie (turn off your brain and enjoy the fight scenes), there are too many clever things for that. First off, the series (and town where it all takes place) is called Golgotha, which is a reference that not everyone may catch. Besides that, every chapter is named after a tarot card, and I don鈥檛 mean just the obvious ones like Death or Judgment (though they do make an appearance as well), but cards like The Six of Cups and The Two of Wands鈥� and yes, if you know what the cards mean, they do tie into the chapter nicely.
All in all, this is a fun and fairly clever read. Fantasy and horror fans (as well as those who like westerns) should absolutely give it a shot.
Note: 欧宝娱乐 has this listed as steampunk. It is not. While highly recommended, this is very firmly Weird Western fantasy/horror. No airships in sight. If you seek it out solely looking for a stempunk tale, disappointment will ensue....more
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