A most intriguing visit to Mexico, Maine in the 1960's, home of the Oxford Paper Mill, and the fatherless and very Catholic family of the author. She A most intriguing visit to Mexico, Maine in the 1960's, home of the Oxford Paper Mill, and the fatherless and very Catholic family of the author. She writes well; people of a certain age might be nostalgic for a time and place gone by....more
The Irish are famed storytellers and Seamas O'Reilly here proves himself one of the best with a comic and poignant retelling of a childhood marked by The Irish are famed storytellers and Seamas O'Reilly here proves himself one of the best with a comic and poignant retelling of a childhood marked by the death of his mother, who died when he was five years old, leaving behind a family of eleven children to be raised by their father. The setting is the 1990's in Derry, Northern Ireland as "The Troubles" were winding down. If you've seen the TV series "Derry Girls" you'll have a sense of the time and place and won't be surprised at how he was able to find comedy in the midst of difficulties. A fine read!...more
Found this in a Little Free Library and relished it utterly! The first half are STORIES featuring Kinsey Millhone from the author's celebrated detectiFound this in a Little Free Library and relished it utterly! The first half are STORIES featuring Kinsey Millhone from the author's celebrated detective novel series: they were all new to me, all clever and often embellished with wry humor. They made me think, "Now I remember why I enjoyed that series so much!" and I resolved to go back and begin re-reading some of them.
But it was the second half of the book that was the real stunner: I had been unaware that the author's childhood was challenged by alcoholic parents and the early death of her mother. She wrote apparently autobiographical stories featuring a character named Kit Blue who seems to serve as a stand-in for her own youth, and these are absolutely gripping -- NOT light, not easy or relaxing, but vividly well-written stories about children finding their own way as best they can. A whole new side of Sue Grafton, which earns my admiration and respect....more
I have a true relish for advice columns and looked forward to this book by yet another such columnist . . . but found it as messy and off-putting as iI have a true relish for advice columns and looked forward to this book by yet another such columnist . . . but found it as messy and off-putting as its unattractive cover. I was thoroughly squicked by the unheralded revelations midway (not mentioned in write-ups or reviews) of sordid family drama, which evidently resulted in the author's father being fired from his job as pastor of a big Christian church. Hanging one's family's 'dirty laundry' out in public? Eeeuw. I HAD looked forward to reading about the author's gender transition, which was mentioned in advance publication reviews but that was curiously underplayed here. Altogether I found this a disappointment....more
I knew nothing about Lynne Tillman when I picked this up, and conclude now that she is an extraordinarily privileged person living in New York City whI knew nothing about Lynne Tillman when I picked this up, and conclude now that she is an extraordinarily privileged person living in New York City who has a publisher willing to produce a rambling, disjointed book about caring for an aged parent. Lynne is frank that her mother wasn't very likable; she presents herself as not very likeable either, and that's something of a problem, isn't it? Evidently she and her sisters had money enough to pay for LOTS of care so that they didn't need to spend a whole lot of time with this disagreeable parent (the occasional time when Lynne had to do it herself was "a misery" to her, she admits): they hired any number of low-paid, sometimes undocumented workers over a span of 11 years -- and at book's end one of her last thoughts is for "Mary," who spent a DECADE as a caregiver for this unpleasant person, and who was declared to be "a thief" by a stranger at a dinner party some time after the mother's death; Lynne announces herself obligated to reveal this to "Mary's" current employer and has her dismissed from her job. Lord spare me from people like this, please! Some people care for loved ones with kindness and compassion and have managed to do so both quietly and privately....more
I put this down after reading 50 pages and thumbing through the rest of it: it was simply too painful and depressing to read about all she has been thI put this down after reading 50 pages and thumbing through the rest of it: it was simply too painful and depressing to read about all she has been through. It was disturbing in another way as well because she is a person of extraordinary privilege whose eventual "recovery" is not possible for those who are poor or otherwise not favored....more
This is a long, chatty introduction to genealogical research in general and one very peculiar family in particular, all in the name of finding peace oThis is a long, chatty introduction to genealogical research in general and one very peculiar family in particular, all in the name of finding peace of mind by way of understanding what has gone on before, I think. As another reviewer has noted, the book will make most people glad that the author's family is not THEIR family. A mother who throws glassware and pots of food at the walls when her husband is late to the table; a father who is an avowed white supremacist and is beloved by no one. . . truly, I would wish this family on no one. I found it an interesting read but there was a sense of relief when I turned the last page....more
The book has a saucy 1950's style cover and reviewers like to cite its "big hearted wisdom," and the relief of reading about a "real" relationship ratThe book has a saucy 1950's style cover and reviewers like to cite its "big hearted wisdom," and the relief of reading about a "real" relationship rather than "painstakingly cropped Instagram families."The author also writes an advice column on something called Substack, and has been married for 15 years. And yet she writes: you may "declare your marriage happy and become the masochist your marriage wants you to be. But you still wake up plenty of mornings wondering why you drag this wretched snoring, heap of meat with you everywhere you go until the day you die."
I suppose this is what is meant by the term 'savagely funny,' but it left me feeling sad and dismayed. The author admits to being neurotic and unreasonable on a regular basis but still insists HE must be accepting and respectful of her foibles at all times. This is not funny and neither is she. No thanks....more
I found this a MARVEL of a book! Written by the daughter of Charlie Hauck, a Boston area man whose alternative service assignment as a 1970's conscienI found this a MARVEL of a book! Written by the daughter of Charlie Hauck, a Boston area man whose alternative service assignment as a 1970's conscientious objector became his life work, tending to underprivileged youth in state care until his death from cancer in 2004. His daughter Liz writes here about her efforts to honor his name and come to grips with her grief over his death by volunteering to cook with teenage boys in the same program once a week for three years between 2006-2009. There are no easy answers here, no miracles for her or for the boys who have no understanding of "family" (because those who end up in state care are, by definition, the products of badly broken families). But she shines a light on the many ways in which community and kindness and service can lead to healing. The key, she says, is to "show up on time when you said you would, do what you said you would do, and leave." This book will give you an unromanticized glimpse into social struggles most of us will never know, and an appreciation for the people who do what they can to help those who need it most....more
This is called a novel but it certainly reads like confessional memoir. It is beautifully -- poetically -- written but is almost too painful to read. This is called a novel but it certainly reads like confessional memoir. It is beautifully -- poetically -- written but is almost too painful to read. It is presented as a letter to the author's mother, who has never learned to read. Vuong tells the story of a Vietnamese-American boy raised in the U.S. by his abusive mixed race mother and schizophrenic Vietnamese grandmother. He struggles with his sexuality and with addiction, and the trials of all three are enough to make the reader cry. Something to read only if you have room in your heart for a whole lot of someone else's sorrow....more
I read this for a book group. I always liked and admired Jimmy Carter as a president. His memoir was interesting reading but a troublesome commentary I read this for a book group. I always liked and admired Jimmy Carter as a president. His memoir was interesting reading but a troublesome commentary on what life was like in the Depression-era south. Boyhood life as recalled here was hard -- but he was a privileged child of a prominent family, and it must have been unimaginably harder for those not so fortunate. I noted near the end of the book his comment that his (black) childhood friend A.D. Davis "got married; he eventually had twelve children, served four years in prison on a conviction of forgery, and then lived the rest of his life peacefully in Plains." A.D. was the boy Jimmy Carter most admired in childhood, but one who could not attend the white school, and who, around the age of 14, began to defer to him, as was apparently considered proper at that time. What might HE have accomplished had had the world been different?...more
A twenty- three year old fresh out of Middlebury College in Vermont with no prospects for the future sets off on foot from Philadelphia in Oct of 2011A twenty- three year old fresh out of Middlebury College in Vermont with no prospects for the future sets off on foot from Philadelphia in Oct of 2011 to “Walk and Listen� � and makes it all the way to the west coast. He learns a lot about himself in this interesting book, but I’m still marveling that his folks had the inner strength to let him go. A startling read. ...more
I had just read James McBride's "The Color of Water" when I happened to stumble upon this book, and the comparisons are inevitable: the first was a saI had just read James McBride's "The Color of Water" when I happened to stumble upon this book, and the comparisons are inevitable: the first was a satisfying and compelling read, but THIS one was vivid, even more compelling, and possibly life-changing. The difference? McBride's tale of a woman who ran away from Orthodox Judaism to marry a black man and raise twelve children made her into the sort of curiosity that makes people waggle their eyebrows and sigh "some people are strange. . ." McBride's mother was beyond the pale of my experience. But author Dolores Johnson could have sat beside me in any school classroom. She could have been my friend, my neighbor -- and her life experience would have directly contradicted all those who smugly declare that racism came to an end in America in the 1960's. To read her memoir is to clearly understand just how much people of color are up against in our country.
Johnson writes about her own mother, a white woman who married a black man in 1943, and simply disappeared from her white family, leaving them to believe she had died rather than run the risk of breaking the law against miscegenation Indiana. She writes of her Black father who took comfort in whiskey when rage and frustration could find no safe outlet. Her parents raised three children in Buffalo, NY who ran the gamut of racial identifications and challenges: one son "looked white", one son was clearly Black, and the daughter was somewhere in between (but relished and valued her perceived Blackness). She also shares her own experiences, which are quite vivid: "code switching" between her white honors school classes and the joyfully raucous "ghetto bus" that carried her home each day. The guidance counselor who told her in 1965, "Oh no, Dolores, colored girls don't go to college." University degrees and a business management job that did not save her from a cross burning on the lawn of her first home in Louisiana in 1975. The fact that most of the Black men in her life died young.
And yet the thrust of this book is much more than this litany of (well deserved) grievances about what racial discrimination does to people -- it is also the tale of the author's determined search to discover, know and finally understand her mother's white family. The fact that she did manage to engineer a reconciliation, and that she and her mother then had 26 years to enjoy this other side of their family makes it a hopeful read. The author's own daughter seems to travel successfully between both worlds, both cultures as well. I have to hope that in time more and more people will bridge this awful divide and that we will learn to live together as we should. ...more
I finally found my way to this marvelous 1986 memoir. Hard to imagine what it must have been like for a rebellious young orthodox Jewish woman who marI finally found my way to this marvelous 1986 memoir. Hard to imagine what it must have been like for a rebellious young orthodox Jewish woman who married a Black man and then found herself a widow with 8 children at the age of 36. Harder still to imagine that she married again, had 4 more children, and managed to see them all through college. McBride’s love and respect for his astonishing mother are touching, as is his admiration for the Black community that accepted her and helped her find her place in the world. ...more
An interesting memoir: she writes about growing up poor in farm country Kansas and pairs her account of her own life and that of her parents/grandpareAn interesting memoir: she writes about growing up poor in farm country Kansas and pairs her account of her own life and that of her parents/grandparents/great-grandparents with an analysis of the economic and social changes that affected their lives. She admits that most folks had no awareness of all of how changes wrought by lawmakers in Washington impacted them at the time, and it wasn't until she went to college that she herself understood the connections. She writes of oil crises in the 1970's, of President Reagan's "trickle down" policies in the 1980's and the Farm Crisis that followed afterward. She writes of welfare reform and policies that shuttered mental health hospitals, and the housing bubble that burst in 2008 when her father lost his home. And through it all she notes the "shame" felt by people who worked long, long hours at multiple jobs and thought it was all their own fault that they could never get ahead.
Smarsh also details at length the challenges that came from her lengthy family history of women giving birth as teenagers and she addresses much of her book to the child she chose never to have, which is a bit of an awkward device. People who have already read "Hillbilly Elegy" or "Strangers in Their Own Land" will be sympathetic and will see many similarities....more
A memoir in three parts by the son of a respected literary writer. His father divorces the mother of his four children to chase younger women and virtA memoir in three parts by the son of a respected literary writer. His father divorces the mother of his four children to chase younger women and virtually abandons them to poverty and neglect in a succession of New England mill towns. In part I he has a miserable childhood and gets beat up a lot by neighborhood bullies. In part II (beginning on page 183) he learns to fight and beats up a lot of other people. In part III (page 277), just as his award wining novel "House of Sand and Fog" is published, his father dies and he finally begins to reconcile a lifetime of complex feelings about his father, and about manhood and fatherhood in general. My suggestion to readers who are repulsed by the first 275 pages of toxic male misery? Stick with it, because part III makes it all worthwhile! Or, if you simply can't bear to trudge through it all, read part III alone....more
In the early 1990's when I was a stay-at-home mother riding herd on four young kids I stumbled upon a remarkable novel called "I Been in Sorrow's KitcIn the early 1990's when I was a stay-at-home mother riding herd on four young kids I stumbled upon a remarkable novel called "I Been in Sorrow's Kitchen and Licked Out All the Pots" -- it was a revelation to me, a look into a different time and place and a whole different experience of childrearing. I loved it! And then when I discovered the author was a WHITE woman, writing about a black woman and her children, I drew back with a combination of surprise and suspicion: how could she possibly know enough to write a story that felt so viscerally real? Now that I have read the author's memoir I understand it all, and I want to celebrate all over again her mastery of words and her unending affection for her children and her big extended family. I could read Susan Straight forever! I wish she had lived next door to me during my own tumultuous years raising a family; I wish I had known her personally as I was trying to come to grips with the racial issues that pull so painfully at our country. What a writer! All I can say here is "Hurrah for a clear-eyed woman who writes beautiful prose!" She shares a marvelous family history that can help all sorts of people begin to understand each other. Now I'm off to hunt up her other novels and discover what else I've missed....more
Oh my. I am moved beyond words by this memoir of a modest man of humble origins who moved to the United States from Pakistan to further his education,Oh my. I am moved beyond words by this memoir of a modest man of humble origins who moved to the United States from Pakistan to further his education, became a citizen, and now reminds us all of the gift it is to live in America. He writes: "I am an American patriot not because I was born here but because I was not. I embraced American freedoms, raised my children to cherish and revere them, because I came from a place where they do not exist." He is, of course, the father of one of 14 Muslim-American soldiers to die in defense of our country since 9/11, and he spoke at the Democratic National Convention in 2016. Perhaps it takes someone from "away" to point out the virtues that we American-born citizens can take so easily for granted....more
A good memoir needs a compelling story and something both unique and universal to pull us in: this one has all that, told with clear, direct simplicitA good memoir needs a compelling story and something both unique and universal to pull us in: this one has all that, told with clear, direct simplicity. Linda's story is unique in that she was born with a life-threatening bleeding disorder, a rare form of hemophilia. Her childhood was filled with medical crises -- but it makes pretty dramatic reading. The universal takes over when Linda's role reverses and she becomes the caregiver for her aging parents, something that most of us will experience, and that we -- and our children -- will need to think about and prepare for. I, for one, would wish for someone as kind and generous as Linda to watch over me if I make it to 90 or more years. Not an easy story but a good one, with much to recommend it....more
A perfectly lovely book for folks who are grandparents -- or who hope to become one someday! It is self-published by a kind and thoughtful man who recA perfectly lovely book for folks who are grandparents -- or who hope to become one someday! It is self-published by a kind and thoughtful man who records his hopes, experiences and satisfactions, along with some gentle words of advice, encouraging us all to pay attention to the important things in life. The book is peppered with comments from friends and relations as well. Some of his suggestions are priceless: create an email account for a new grandchild, and record thoughts and memories that he/she will be able to read many years in the future. He must have been an exceptional father. What a treat....more
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