I would have liked to use the nicer term "overweight", but who am I kidding? Almost weighing 70 kilos in my 5 feet 3 incheOnce upon a time, I was fat.
I would have liked to use the nicer term "overweight", but who am I kidding? Almost weighing 70 kilos in my 5 feet 3 inches frame, I was fat and unhappy. I had big fucking boobs, big bulging sides, big buttcheeks, big arms, thighs that met together in at least one tangent, and the fact that my cheeks were already chubby without the added fat? Unhappiness galore. I tried to convince myself that even though I looked this way, I should still exude confidence because my physical appearance didn't and shouldn't decide my worth as a person, but after countless, "Oh, dear! Look at how you've grown!" from uncles and aunts who drop by every 2 months, after having to look for pants two to three sizes larger because I gained more weight again, after having seen your friends get hit on and try out sexy-as-fuck clothes and look so effortlessly fabulous, and you were stuck with pants and loose shirts, it started getting old, and fast.
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It came to that point where whenever I heard the term mataba (fat) or malaki (big), I'd get so insecure and anxious. I'd want to get out of the scene and then hide until everyone was gone. I'd start thinking how inadequate I was, how much I was missing out on just because I wasn't as sexy or as fabulous as other girls. I'd start crying to myself why the fuck I was this way. Why did my mom had to come from a family of big people? Who didn't my dad come from a family that was tall and glamorous? I struggled so hard during this phase, and it became that motivation for me to shed down the weight, because I didn't want these wordsto keep haunting me like a ghost that just won't go away. It was mentally, emotionally, and psychologically traumatizing for me.
I've lost weight then. I've become confident. I feel better now in my own skin and body.
But I do wish this book had already existed during that time of my life, because maybe I wouldn't have hated myself that much then. Willowdean is fat, and she doesn't care. I mean, she does feel insecure about herself sometimes (like everybody else does), but she is fairly confident in her own body, although she does struggle with the judging and teasing of her peers when it comes to body types that are not deemed "beautiful" by society. Willow sets out to change that, by joining a beauty pageant, and inspiring deemed "fat/queer" girls to join her as well.
I loved Will's character and attitude. She was a mix of the ME I was back then, and the ME that I wish I was back then. Her insecurities were the things that I was anxious about on a daily basis, the only difference is that Willow decided to do something about it, and to prove to others wrong that someone's being fat is not a cause for them to not do the things they want to do. That just become someone is queer doesn't mean they can't win a fucking beauty pageant. That just become someone has a buckteeth doesn't mean they can't feel and be beautiful. This was a light-hearted book that talked about heavy issues and made them inspiring, enlightening, and so, so positive.
I used to be fat, and I used to be ashamed of it. Willow made me realize just how wrong I was for feeling so, for letting people's opinions weigh me down and decide how worthy I was. Fat is just an adjective, but that doesn't make up the whole of me.
Aside from the strong messages that was in this book, I was in awe of the female friendships and family dynamics that were portrayed here, and how much Will has grown so much as a character through these unexpected bonds. There were so many complex themes that played out between each and every one of them - the relationship between a fat daughter and a mother who was still stuck in her glorious days as a beauty pageant winner; between two best friends who come from two opposite sides of the spectrum; between a girl and a boy whose worlds are far apart; among four females who were shunned as outcasts because of how they looked. I loved each and every one of them, and how positive this book made them out be. Yes, there were drama, but it wasn't the exhausting kind where you'd want to haul the book into the trash can. They were the kind that tingled and pulled your heart a little bit, then warmed you all over.
Plus, there's a ship that unexpectedly made me want to clutch my heart. A romance rarely does that to me.
Dumplin' is something to behold. It speaks to every one of us who have felt insecure and frustrated with ourselves - by the way we look, or the way we act, or simply because by the way we simply ²¹°ù±ð,Ìýall insecurities brought about by social pressure and norms. It speaks to that side of us who looked for reasons to feel confident in ourselves. This book gives that to you and lets you realize that at the end of the day, we're not made up by the labels society imposes upon us. I am me because of the experiences, values, and things that make up me; and you are you for the same reasons, too. Fat, or short, or queer, or straight, or thin, or healthy - who the fuck cares? Let's not make these things define us. Life is so much more than that.
This book makes you want to scream, "Yeah, I used to be fat! Maybe in the future I'll get fat again! But you know what? FUCK THAT SHIT CAUSE EITHER WAY I'M BEAUTIFUL!"...more
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