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It is awe-inspiring to go for a ride inside Roxane Gay's head and heart. She opens up the conversation on the word feminism, talks about her own shortcomings, and labels this word is affiliated with. She writes of her own thoughts about current events as well as past. Feminism is a demand for equal rights for women in all areas of life, yet it has become a word with endless connotations.

It is truly staggering to read how sexual violence against women is embedded in our culture. How conservative politicians want control of women's bodies, and are succeeding through current legislation. Seven states require women to receive a transvaginal ultrasound before they receive abortions - a rape in and of itself. Thirty five states require counseling to varying degrees of specificity. Twenty six states require written material to be given. The restrictions just seem to keep on coming. Gay, states, " In 2011, fifty five percent of all women in the U.S. lived in states hostile to abortion rights, and reproductive freedom." Further, "If politicians can't prevent women from having abortions, they are certainly going to punish them." If the U.S. is founded on the principle of inalienable rights, these rights no longer include women. What freedom do women have if their very bodies are legislated? This is coupled with the fact that women live in a "rape culture." Where women no longer talk of "if" they will be raped, but "when."

Gay, through her many commentaries tackles multiple issues, including, reality T.V., the term "women's fiction," the Publishers Weekly interview with Claire Messud and her novel "The Woman Upstairs," rape stories on T.V., and Rosie O'Donnell's objection to the show Law and Order: SVU are but a few.

The issues Gay has written of are many. As a woman myself, a few quotes struck me as crucial:
"Abandon the cultural myth that all female friendships must be bitchy, toxic, or competitive. This myth is like heels and purses - pretty but designed to SLOW women down."

"A lot of ink is given over to mythologizing female friendships as curious, fragile relationships that are always intensely fraught. Stop reading writing that encourages this mythology."

"Don't tear another woman down, because even if they are not your friends, they are women and this is just as important."

"Feminism is a choice, and if a woman does not want to be a feminist, that is her right, but it is still my responsibility to fight for her rights."

Thanks Roxane Gay for such a profound and timely book. This line is my favorite..."One of my favorite moments is when a guy, at a certain point in a relationship, says something desperately hopeful like, "are you on the pill?" I simply say, "no, are you?"