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** spoiler alert ** Warning - this is going to be an honest, blunt review. I'm sure it won't hurt the book's high ratings, considering it's "critically acclaimed." I really wanted to like this - I usually don't believe the hype, but I do tend to believe the awards, and thought I was in for a sweet, profound story. Sadly, I'm losing faith in the publishing industry. The writing was worse than a certain other book I thought was the worst.

I felt like I was reading a very weak rough draft. The characters all spoke the same way, they repeated each other constantly as this cutesy device that got old fast, and the worst offender - they said each other's name in almost every sentence. Even Ari's surgeon spoke this way. If the dog could talk, she would have spoken this way, too. One doesn't need to take Writing 101 to know not to have the characters repeat each other's names in dialogue - it sounds unnatural and amateurish. There is one page where Ari's mom says his name in almost every sentence of their conversation. Ari Ari Ari. Another where I swear, it's like every other word is "mom." (pg. 136 Kindle version)

This is my own unrelated example of what this mess read like to me:

"That's a great pair of socks, Mike."
"Well, Tom, I like socks."
"I wonder, Mike, if I like socks, too."
"I don't know, Tom, have you ever tried them?"
I wondered about that. I wasn't human about socks.
"No, Mike, I haven't, Mike."
I thought about Mike. Why couldn't I answer questions when people asked? Why didn't I like socks? Do boys like socks?
"Okay, Tom. Okay, you weird sweet boy."
I thought about Mike a lot. He was my only friend. But I wanted to punch him in the face.

Ari's name is said over 300 times, and Dante's name over 500 - my Kindle couldn't count any higher. IT. WAS. MADDENING.



And there were lines like this: "I knew about coyotes. I was way into coyotes." HUH? No, explanation. Just so RANDOM.

Then there was this gem: "I remember staring at myself in the mirror. I remember whispering 'You are a beautiful boy.' I didn't believe it - but I wanted to." He's 16 here, I think. Am I supposed to believe he whispered to himself in the mirror that he's a beautiful boy? He's like a Saturday Night Live sketch, so corny you'd think it was meant to be comedy. But... it's not.

And this convo with his dad about a dog: "She followed me home from the park." "Are you interested in him?"..."And yeah, I'm very interested." Now tell me, who says "Are you interested in him?" about a dog? How about, do you want to keep it? But not, "Are you interested in him?"



As I said, every character sounded like the same person when they spoke, their conversations consisting mostly of these short choppy sentences, with no real depth, except a few long-winded, try-hard monologues. It left me wondering (don't get me started on how many times Ari "wonders" and asks inane questions - it's repetitive, lazy writing) who these characters were supposed to be. They were like shells - devoid of any personality. All they did was whine, wonder, and say each other's names. It was the most unnatural dialogue I've ever read in a published work.

The blurb does it no justice - Ari wasn't the angry young man, but he did strike me as a whiny little emo boy in an older teen's body. He was so self-centered, to the point where you'd think the universe revolved around him. Dante is supposed to be a know-it-all, but I didn't get that impression at all. He was also a whiny kid, but one who liked to talk about how great his parents were. Yes, teens can and should respect and love their parents, but to constantly talk about them with each other? Unrealistic.

Their friendship had no build-up. There was no connection between them, because there were no personalities or depth there to connect, so it rang false to me. There was way too much telling, and not enough showing. You can't just say, "he was my friend" without showing me why. You can't have them making out, suddenly, when there was so little that made them real.

"We laughed." "We busted out laughing." "We cracked up laughing." They laughed so hard at the simplest things. Things that might have warranted a polite chuckle at most... I know I was supposed to think "Ahh, look how they laugh together" but there was nothing even remotely funny going on?

The parents could have been the same person - even Ari's dad who was supposed to have PTSD from serving in Vietnam seemed mellow and bland, and nothing like Ari "thinks" of him. Even Ari's thoughts are choppy, inarticulate musings that do nothing but make him seem like a simpleton.

And that ending? Could it be any more insipid? Could Ari be anymore lackluster and boring and just there? All it took to realize he was gay and in love with Dante was a sit down with his supposedly closed-off parents? He barely even considered in his own weak thoughts that he might be gay, until mom and dad told him he was?? It was absurd. Not to mention the total lack of chemistry between the two boys. But it's hard for characters to have chemistry when they are basically empty shells.

There was also no point to having it set in the 80's. It didn't read like historical fiction.

This book was terrible. If you loved this book, I'm happy for you, because that means you are going to be in blissful, sublime ecstasy when you read a well-written book. You will keel over in joy.