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✘✘ Sarah ✘✘ (former Nefarious Breeder of Murderous Crustaceans)'s Reviews > Skinwalker
Skinwalker (Jane Yellowrock, #1)
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✘✘ Sarah ✘✘ (former Nefarious Breeder of Murderous Crustaceans)'s review
bookshelves: urban-fantasy, vamps-are-wimps, br-2015, set-sail-for-disappointment, 2015, boredom-fest, oblivion-and-spontaneous-combustion, diversity-is-slightly-scrumptious
Oct 04, 2014
bookshelves: urban-fantasy, vamps-are-wimps, br-2015, set-sail-for-disappointment, 2015, boredom-fest, oblivion-and-spontaneous-combustion, diversity-is-slightly-scrumptious
Actual rating: 2.5 stars. Because I'm in a good mood today.
Disclaimer: I read this book only 10 days ago and can hardly remember the story. This should be a fascinating review. Then again, I was recently told my reviews were offensive, so all is not lost. You might get bored but at least there's a good chance you'll feel outraged about all this. Muahahahaha.
►► Presenting... Adventures in Lowered Ratings, courtesy ofFaith Hunter my failing memory!
� 1 to 50% = OMG I can't put this down, this is 4-star material!
� You create an awesome, badass chick of a lead. YES!
� You decide she's Cherokee. YES!
� You make her a skinwalker, meaning she can take the form of any creature she wants. YES!
� You make her live with an inner Beast who tends to have a life of its own. YES!
� You give her a super cool bike called Bitsa (bits of this, bits of that). YES!
� You turn her into a total tea snob. YES!
� You give her the annoying habit of nicknaming everyone. YES!
� You set the whole thing in New Orleans. YES!
� Uh-Oh material:
� You use short-sentence structure. Which makes this poor little reader's head hurt really, really bad.
� One of your very manly characters is named LaFleur, aka "the flower" in French. Yes, this literally radiates masculinity.
� 50 to 70% = Houston, we have a problem, I think I'm downgrading this to 3 stars.
� Your awesome, badass chick of a lead is a walking contradiction. She is supposed to be this super tough heroine but she starts acting like a bloody teenager and blushes furiously every five minutes. Sense this not makes. I get it not.
� The members of your Testosterone Bunch all seem to have escaped from a PNR Novel. They're all HOT. They're all SEXY. They all EXUDE manliness. They all OOZE sensuality. Please kill me somebody.
� Your plot is getting thinner and more boring by the minute. What started out as wow-this-is-freaking-exciting is slowly but surely becoming what-the-freaking-meh-is-this.
� Short-sentence structure: choppity chop, choppity chop, the headache is turning into a migraine.
� 70% to 100% = WTH happened I am now considering giving this a 2.5 rating?!
� It's official, your exciting, original plot is actually nothing more than a standard, average UF story.
� You're full of blah-blah-blah and boring-boring-boring.
� You're full of lame sexual tension but desperately lack actual sex.
� Click-click-click, tap-tap-tap, watch me turn the pages of my Kindle at record speed.
Tada! THE END!
Disclaimer: I read this book only 10 days ago and can hardly remember the story. This should be a fascinating review. Then again, I was recently told my reviews were offensive, so all is not lost. You might get bored but at least there's a good chance you'll feel outraged about all this. Muahahahaha.
►► Presenting... Adventures in Lowered Ratings, courtesy of
� 1 to 50% = OMG I can't put this down, this is 4-star material!
� You create an awesome, badass chick of a lead. YES!
� You decide she's Cherokee. YES!
� You make her a skinwalker, meaning she can take the form of any creature she wants. YES!
� You make her live with an inner Beast who tends to have a life of its own. YES!
� You give her a super cool bike called Bitsa (bits of this, bits of that). YES!
� You turn her into a total tea snob. YES!
� You give her the annoying habit of nicknaming everyone. YES!
� You set the whole thing in New Orleans. YES!
� Uh-Oh material:
� You use short-sentence structure. Which makes this poor little reader's head hurt really, really bad.
� One of your very manly characters is named LaFleur, aka "the flower" in French. Yes, this literally radiates masculinity.
� 50 to 70% = Houston, we have a problem, I think I'm downgrading this to 3 stars.
� Your awesome, badass chick of a lead is a walking contradiction. She is supposed to be this super tough heroine but she starts acting like a bloody teenager and blushes furiously every five minutes. Sense this not makes. I get it not.
� The members of your Testosterone Bunch all seem to have escaped from a PNR Novel. They're all HOT. They're all SEXY. They all EXUDE manliness. They all OOZE sensuality. Please kill me somebody.
� Your plot is getting thinner and more boring by the minute. What started out as wow-this-is-freaking-exciting is slowly but surely becoming what-the-freaking-meh-is-this.
� Short-sentence structure: choppity chop, choppity chop, the headache is turning into a migraine.
� 70% to 100% = WTH happened I am now considering giving this a 2.5 rating?!
� It's official, your exciting, original plot is actually nothing more than a standard, average UF story.
� You're full of blah-blah-blah and boring-boring-boring.
� You're full of lame sexual tension but desperately lack actual sex.
� Click-click-click, tap-tap-tap, watch me turn the pages of my Kindle at record speed.
Tada! THE END!
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Reading Progress
October 4, 2014
– Shelved
October 4, 2014
– Shelved as:
wishlist
October 8, 2014
– Shelved as:
urban-fantasy
December 4, 2014
– Shelved as:
vamps-are-wimps
April 6, 2015
– Shelved as:
to-read
September 2, 2015
– Shelved as:
br-2015
September 21, 2015
–
Started Reading
September 21, 2015
–
11.0%
"Vamps and witches came out of the closet in 1962, when Marilyn Monroe tried to turn the U.S. president in the Oval Office and was killed by the Secret Service.
Marilyn was a vamp. I knew it.
"
Marilyn was a vamp. I knew it.
"
September 21, 2015
–
27.0%
"I looked at sky. Little night left. I/we were far from new den, from rock she marked to find place. Far from food that did not have to be stalked. Much dead cow in cold place in den. Refrigerator, she thought at me. In the freebie house.
Big steak in fridge = much dead cow in cold place in den. Hahaha I love Beast!
"
Big steak in fridge = much dead cow in cold place in den. Hahaha I love Beast!
"
September 22, 2015
–
50.0%
"Bruiser and his boss shared a look that probably had all sorts of meanings, and the henchman went to do his master’s bidding. Maybe I should call Bruiser “Igor�. I didn’t say it, but I couldn’t help the grin. My sense of humor is going to be my death.
Not sure Bruiser would appreciate being compared to Marty Feldman, hahaha!
"
Not sure Bruiser would appreciate being compared to Marty Feldman, hahaha!
"
September 23, 2015
–
74.0%
"The first half of the book was awesome, original and exciting. Now it's all a big...
"
"
September 24, 2015
– Shelved as:
set-sail-for-disappointment
September 24, 2015
– Shelved as:
2015
September 24, 2015
– Shelved as:
boredom-fest
September 24, 2015
–
Finished Reading
October 5, 2015
– Shelved as:
oblivion-and-spontaneous-combustion
March 26, 2018
– Shelved as:
diversity-is-slightly-scrumptious
Comments Showing 1-38 of 38 (38 new)
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message 1:
by
Shelby *trains flying monkeys*
(new)
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rated it 3 stars
Sep 02, 2015 05:35AM
I need to read some more of this series. It is pretty good. I liked Jane a whole lot.
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message 2:
by
✘✘ Sarah ✘✘ (former Nefarious Breeder of Murderous Crustaceans)
(new)
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rated it 2 stars
Did you stop after this instalment or did you read a few more books in the series? Your review makes this one sound pretty cool:)
✘✘ Sarah ✘✘ (former Nefarious Breeder of Murderous Crustaceans) wrote: "Did you stop after this instalment or did you read a few more books in the series? Your review makes this one sound pretty cool:)"I just read this one. I kept planning on reading more and the usual too many books too little time happened.
I think it's funny that I ordered this and other books for my birthday yesterday which is September 21 :D Today I just noticed that you all are going to read this too :D I was wondering, can I join the MacHalo group, I mean I haven't even read the Fever series xD Well except the first book so far..
message 5:
by
✘✘ Sarah ✘✘ (former Nefarious Breeder of Murderous Crustaceans)
(new)
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rated it 2 stars
♡Tinja� wrote: "I think it's funny that I ordered this and other books for my birthday yesterday which is September 21 :D Today I just noticed that you all are going to read this too :D I was wondering, can I join..."I'll send you an invite right away Tinja:) We started the group for a Fever BR but now we read mostly UF, Fantasy and SF. And we have a great Smut Room too, haha!
Thank you Sarah !! ;) Oooh, Smut Room sounds great ;)
Yay for Tinja! The Smut Room has seen a lot of action lately. Haha.
message 8:
by
✘✘ Sarah ✘✘ (former Nefarious Breeder of Murderous Crustaceans)
(new)
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rated it 2 stars
One more falls victim to the call of the Smut Room, muahahaha!
I'm going to check that Smut Room now :P I already checked the harem, my eyeballs nearly dropped! :D
The harem is swoon worthy for sure. Glad you enjoyed our efforts. Haha.
Considering that I DNFd this, you should have really given this five stars with a cherry on top... ;-)
message 12:
by
✘✘ Sarah ✘✘ (former Nefarious Breeder of Murderous Crustaceans)
(new)
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rated it 2 stars
That's it. The world is coming to an end. Especially since I'm still considering rating this 2 stars, instead of 2.5...
✘✘ Sarah ✘✘ (former Nefarious Breeder of Murderous Crustaceans) wrote: "That's it. The world is coming to an end. Especially since I'm still considering rating this 2 stars, instead of 2.5..."It doesn't deserve more that 2 stars. Pleeeease no buddy reads for this series! These past few months I was barely been able to find a couple of buddy reads I wanted to participate in, much less finish :(
message 14:
by
✘✘ Sarah ✘✘ (former Nefarious Breeder of Murderous Crustaceans)
(new)
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rated it 2 stars
Navessa wrote: "Sounds like PNR trying to masquerade as UF. I'll be steering clear. Great review, Sarah."Thanks Cory!:) PNR in disguise, that's pretty much what this was...
message 15:
by
✘✘ Sarah ✘✘ (former Nefarious Breeder of Murderous Crustaceans)
(last edited Oct 05, 2015 02:06PM)
(new)
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rated it 2 stars
Asya wrote: "✘✘ Sarah ✘✘ (former Nefarious Breeder of Murderous Crustaceans) wrote: "That's it. The world is coming to an end. Especially since I'm still considering rating this 2 stars, instead of 2.5..."It ..."
Who would have thought I'd be the lenient one for once!;) I don't really understand why people rave so much about this series. I thought it was going to be really cool but it was just...well, you read my review, I don't need to tell you what I thought about it, haha.
Don't worry about me buddy reading the rest of this series, I'm sending it straight to my doom and oblivion shelf.
Hey, I couldn't understand a word of your review but I liked it anyway^^
This was such a disappointment, Jane fell out of favour with me when she was being a smug know-it-all during her "job interview" at the beginning of the book.I returned it to Audible.
Good reviews tricked me in the first place.
Two choppy stars sound about right.
message 17:
by
✘✘ Sarah ✘✘ (former Nefarious Breeder of Murderous Crustaceans)
(new)
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rated it 2 stars
I did like the beginning of the book a lot but then it went downhill really fast. Jane bugged the hell out of me with her childlish attitude and the story itself was VERY meh. A lot of my friends love this series and I just don't understand why. Of all the people I was buddy reading this with, only two of us managed to finish it, haha.
Sorry you didn't like it. This just proves my theory that you and i have about 1.5% book compatibility. The 1.5% being IA.
message 19:
by
✘✘ Sarah ✘✘ (former Nefarious Breeder of Murderous Crustaceans)
(new)
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rated it 2 stars
Oh wow, you gave it 5 stars? Hahaha! I'm getting bored with UF these days and haven't been in a great reading mood, which might explain my rating for this one;)Hey, we aren't as incompatible as you seem to think! If you use the 'compare books' feature, you'll see our tastes are 82% similar^^
Hey! I gave this 2 stars too - though I'm not sure why when I look back, because I'm pretty sure I didn't make it past a 1/4 of the way in. I hated everyone, or was bored with them.
message 21:
by
✘✘ Sarah ✘✘ (former Nefarious Breeder of Murderous Crustaceans)
(new)
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rated it 2 stars
Angela wrote: "Hey! I gave this 2 stars too - though I'm not sure why when I look back, because I'm pretty sure I didn't make it past a 1/4 of the way in. I hated everyone, or was bored with them."OMG. REALLY? TWO STARS? I AM NOT A FREAK!!!!!!!!
I'm so glad I found someone else like me on this series - I just couldn't deal with it.I honestly think I need to bump my rating down.
message 23:
by
✘✘ Sarah ✘✘ (former Nefarious Breeder of Murderous Crustaceans)
(new)
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rated it 2 stars
Why so many people LOVE this series so much is beyond me. Jane's character has fantastic potential, and so does the world. But the execution...GAH.
YES! Exactly. I think that's why I was getting so irritated too, the potential was amazing, but it just didn't follow through at all.
i absolutely love your reviews and find myself picking books based on them 👍👍 Thanks for the help once again!
message 26:
by
✘✘ Sarah ✘✘ (former Nefarious Breeder of Murderous Crustaceans)
(new)
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rated it 2 stars
Not sure you should trust my reviews, haha. Thanks Amy, I'm always glad to help!;)
yes your reviews are super offensive. i'm going to read this, eat some shrimp, and cackle :-D
message 28:
by
✘✘ Sarah ✘✘ (former Nefarious Breeder of Murderous Crustaceans)
(new)
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rated it 2 stars
Offensive? My reviews? I'm sorry, you must have the wrong Sarah.P.S. Still eating shrimp? You really have a death wish, don't you?
✘✘ Sarah ✘✘ (former Nefarious Breeder of Murderous Crustaceans) wrote: "Offensive? My reviews? I'm sorry, you must have the wrong Sarah.P.S. Still eating shrimp? You really have a death wish, don't you?"
only the tiny baby shrimps. i mean they are so small and cute, i hardly see how they matter.
message 30:
by
✘✘ Sarah ✘✘ (former Nefarious Breeder of Murderous Crustaceans)
(new)
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rated it 2 stars
Sarah wrote: "✘✘ Sarah ✘✘ (former Nefarious Breeder of Murderous Crustaceans) wrote: "Offensive? My reviews? I'm sorry, you must have the wrong Sarah.P.S. Still eating shrimp? You really have a death wish, don..."
why must you be so right all the time? i can't even force myself to finish. KD is like delicious low country boil this is like.... freeze dried kale ?
message 32:
by
✘✘ Sarah ✘✘ (former Nefarious Breeder of Murderous Crustaceans)
(new)
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rated it 2 stars
Sarah wrote: "why must you be so right all the time? i can't even force myself to finish. KD is like delicious low country boil this is like.... freeze dried kale ?"Why? I don't know, I was born that way maybe? You should know, you're also a Sarah, and Sarahs are always right, aren't they?
P.S.
This review pretty much hit the nail on the head with my feelings about the book. So bummed that it basically fell apart 2/3 in. I couldn't even finish.
message 34:
by
✘✘ Sarah ✘✘ (former Nefarious Breeder of Murderous Crustaceans)
(new)
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rated it 2 stars
Danielle wrote: "This review pretty much hit the nail on the head with my feelings about the book. So bummed that it basically fell apart 2/3 in. I couldn't even finish."Thanks, Danielle:) I read it 5 years ago and am still surprised I didn't DNF it, haha. To think that the book has a 3.91-star average star rating...That so many people read it wrong, it really boggles the mind:P
message 36:
by
✘✘ Sarah ✘✘ (former Nefarious Breeder of Murderous Crustaceans)
(new)
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rated it 2 stars
There you are again, laughing at one of my miserable reading experiences. You really have no heart, Michelle.
✘✘ Sarah ✘✘ (former Nefarious Breeder of Murderous Crustaceans) wrote: "There you are again, laughing at one of my miserable reading experiences. You really have no heart, Michelle."I'm sorry!
message 38:
by
✘✘ Sarah ✘✘ (former Nefarious Breeder of Murderous Crustaceans)
(new)
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rated it 2 stars
Michelle wrote: "✘✘ Sarah ✘✘ (former Nefarious Breeder of Murderous Crustaceans) wrote: "There you are again, laughing at one of my miserable reading experiences. You really have no heart, Michelle."I'm sorry!"
You better be 😁😁.
