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”’I was looking forward to us growing old together. Me and you, growing old and dying together.'

'Douglas, who in their right mind would look forward to that?’��

This was the conversation moments after Douglas Petersen’s wife rolls over in bed and informs him that she believes their marriage is finished. Their son Albie is a few weeks away from leaving for college and she “wants to feel this is the beginning of something new, not the beginning of the end.�� For some people a conversation like this would not come as a surprise, there had been flashing red lights for years. For Douglas, who has enjoyed almost three decades of involvement with this woman, it comes out of the dark like a mugger’s leather clad fist impacting the side of his jaw.

Douglas is a man as stable and predictable as the sun and the moon. He is a biochemist studying among other things the genital architecture of the fruit fly. Maybe not exciting stuff to others, but being able to study evolutionary mutations in a few generations instead of waiting a millennium can be fascinating work.

His wife Connie has an artist’s soul. She is creative and used to sketch pictures of people before motherhood became all consuming. Albie shares her same passion for art, music, and photography. Douglas doesn’t always understand their passions, but he does appreciate the intensity they have for their interests. It is the same way he feels about science. He loved Connie’s sketches and when they buy their first house he offers to build her an artist’s studio. David Nicholls moves us between the past and the present as Douglas relives their life together. One of the painful things to watch as this plot unfolds, is Douglas trying to support his wife’s and son’s interests only to somehow always say or do the wrong thing.

Part of this is he is not “right minded��. They know this, so any attempt he makes to appreciate art the same way they do somehow diminishes their own enjoyment. If he likes a piece of art then it must not be any good.

Connie springs this urge to�� discover herself�� on him just before they are to begin a family grand tour of Europe. Maybe not the best timing. He chooses to believe that she is only thinking about leaving him, that the jury is still out. The European vacation is one more chance for him to prove himself, to win the hand he most wants to hold for the rest of his life, one more time.

Albie is the typical moody teenager who has become an expert at dividing and conquering his parents. Connie, always the protective hen about his artistic interests, is also the reliable counter weight to Douglas’s attempts to pin Albie down on exactly what his plans are to become successful. There are two competing schools of thought on what success really means. To Connie it is pursuing your interests to the detriment of financial security. To Douglas it is to pursue a way to make a living and with spare time chase those artistic dreams. Neither system generally leads to happiness. The best chance anyone has of achieving any level of contentment is to find that tricky balance between financial stability and still manage to find ways to express themselves through a creative endeavor. For instance, a circulation manager in the Midwest might decide to write book reviews so he doesn’t go fruit loops for cocoa puffs. I know it isn’t as sexy as writing poetry, but it is a form of expression.

So after hoisting this Sword of Damocles over Douglas’s head Connie assures him that they must keep up appearances on this trip for Albie’s sake.

@*%#!

Marriage has always been difficult, and with each new study the divorce rate is climbing all over the world. The divorce rate in the United States is estimated to be at 53%. Fortunately for Douglas he has better odds in Great Britain at 42%. Money is still the #1 reason for divorce, but I think the truth of the matter is that wrapped around any of the top reasons for divorce is the spectre of boredom. There is the seven year itch. Then the next big detriment to marriage is when the kids are finally scooted off to college, exactly the circumstances that Douglas is facing.

People can not expect their spouse to make them happy. We are each responsible for our own happiness. Anyone is certainly gambling with bad odds thinking a new spouse will be the key to happiness. The divorce rate goes up exponentially with each new attempt. Third marriages have a 73% divorce rate. This all said, sometimes the spouse is the source of the unhappiness and the only resolution is divorce, but if we examine boredom as a main ingredient for divorce many might be mistaking comfort and dependability for tediousness.

Douglas fits the trustworthy, no frills profile which might be considered dull especially if you have an artistic temperament. I have a feeling that Connie is not self-stimulating when it comes to producing art and that she needs someone or something to awaken those urges in her. Douglas can be as supportive as he wants to be, but he will never be a muse.

Connie is perfectly happy with their marriage and sees it as a success. Douglas also sees their marriage as a success and doesn’t understand why it can’t continue.

Last chance Douglas...the Petersen grand tour of Europe.

Douglas tries to move into their artistic circle, but is met with skepticism and derision. He googles like a madman trying to find interesting facts to share. ”Perhaps this is why those museum audio-guides had become so popular; a reassuring voice in your ear, telling you what to think and feel. Look to your left, take note, please observe; how terrific it would be to carry that voice with you always, out of the museum and throughout all of life.��

When a family dispute has Albie running away from the grand tour Connie goes home, but Douglas decides that this may be the last chance he has to ever make things right with his son.

David Nicholls follows up the phenomenally successful One Day with this amusing, but at times painfully real look at relationships between sons and fathers, between sons and mothers, and between wives and husbands. For those of you that have survived the teenage wars with your children, (I have recently graduated to survivor status.) depending on the part that you’ve had to play, you very well may find yourself wanting to strangle/hug one or two of the characters in this book. You will experience a whirlwind tour through the Netherlands, France, Italy, with the grand finale occurring in Spain. To say the least, Douglas comes home a changed man, and though he isn’t happy about the state of his marriage he is less fearful of the life that may exist after it.

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