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There is a legend from the beginning of time when all the parts of the body were equal. Being fated to inequality the organs, limbs, and parts debated who should rule the body. The brain said that it ought to rule because it was the thinking organ. The heart said that it ought to rule because life was impossible without it. Then the arsehole said that that it ought to rule because it wanted to. All the other parts of the body laughed - even the gall bladder. In a huff the anal sphincter refused to work until the rest of the body acknowledged its supremacy.

For the first couple of days nothing happened and nobody worried, but after that things became more and more uncomfortable, until eventually the whole body had to submit to its new ruler. From that day forth all humankind has been subject to arseholes. A prime illustration of this is Paul Arden's short book Whatever you think think the opposite, an alternative title for which could have been How to be an Arsehole.

It is the kind of book that should come packaged in a plastic bag, with cigar smoke and the odour of liquor sealed in. Despite being published in the early 2000s it is firmly rooted in an earlier era when Mammon was the only God and its true prophet was Maggie Thatcher (may her hotel bills always be paid for her).

This book suggests an arrogant man, certain of himself, holding court before admirers as he delivers sweeping statements. I suppose this could be provocative, but there is a way in which a sweeping statement invites a nuanced assessment recognising that there is some applicability to his ideas even if life is generally more complex (view spoiler)[ after this book Arden went on to write God explained in a Taxi Ride which for me demonstrates the extent of his self-confidence. Since if you were interested in God you're presumably prepared to take your time coming to terms with divinity, and if you're not interested you'll probably avoid that taxi altogether (hide spoiler)]. This reminded me of something I believe Samadrita wrote that by travelling between certain countries you could affectively travel backwards or forwards in time in terms of attitudes and cultural assumptions, in a similar way even within one economy different industries are at different stages of development and some preserve the work habits of far earlier times. Long before you get to Arden's page 110 advice Don't go to university, you get the general impression that he worked in advertising. Advertising according to him seems to be still in the eighteenth century, you're best off getting ahead by serving your time as an apprentice brushing the wigs of the partners and fetching the journeymen their pots of mid-morning beer to get the right names on your CV (view spoiler)[ or °ùé²õ³Ü³¾Ã© as they say in other places (hide spoiler)]. On the other hand if your intention is to become a Doctor, for instance, then Arden's advice is possibly not quite so helpful.

In comparison with Confessions of an Advertising Man you get the sense that Arden worked at the more arty-farty end of the profession. Ogilvy likes practical details - where coupons make the biggest impact in journals, while Arden is all about shock value. He loves An ace caff with quite a nice museum attached (p132) as slogan for the Victoria & Albert Museum (view spoiler)[ this is one of the South Kensington museums established in London after the Great Exhibition along with the Science Museum and Natural History Museum, as the names of these museums suggest the V&A is a harder sell (hide spoiler)] and from memory that choice did generate some free publicity for the museum, but from a business point of view all that I am interested in knowing about that slogan is did it increase visitor numbers or did it the level of takings above the trend for comparable London attractions. Arden doesn't care, for him the provocation of not treating a museum as a tribute to the muses is enough. Still his taste is lazy, he likes the idea that a picture of Hitler makes an impact on the page (p135). We're only a few years on from 2006, but I don't think a picture of Hitler as an object in itself (view spoiler)[ as opposed to being used to advertise dog food or vegetarian diets for instance (hide spoiler)]had an impact even then, it is a long way from being edgy.

Arden's book has most of value to say to you if you work in an area where commerce and the arts cross - such as people doing the art work for advertising agencies. In that case Arden's interest in what is going to make money and what is going to stand out is potentially useful and helpful. However there is also an interesting tension that is not resolved - on the one hand there are the flower pictures (pp8-9) and the idea of doing something out of the box, while on the other hand (the more than slightly condescending!) notion (on pp76-77) that most people are other people, a herd of sheep, in which case producing something out of the box is not going to work - you need to be following or with the trend to appeal to them not to buck it or confront it. Then again this isn't so much a tension as a reality, but here we are getting into market segmentation and possibly also into how we compartmentalise our own lives - there's room enough in a person's life to stay with the trends and to be open to the unique.

Consciously or unconsciously perhaps Arden acknowledges this by saying steal from anywhere that resonates with inspiration or fuels your imagination...Select only things to steal from that speak directly to your soul. If you do this, your work (and theft) will be authentic (p94). That is an appeal both to an individual sense of taste, but also to the safety of conformance, by copying somebody else you are becoming a heard of at least two following somebody else's lead.

In any case what he has to say about there not being a right point of view, or how you have to do things radically differently to achieve a breakthrough solution will only be new to you if you haven't come across them before.

In any case, this is a short book, with few words and many big pictures that none the less succeeds in being repetitive (view spoiler)[worth the cover price if you borrow it (hide spoiler)]. It is not really consistent or coherent, but then again that's not what Arden is interested in.