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** spoiler alert ** The first time I read Ethan Frome was in the ninth or tenth grade. I remember sitting in Mr. Guevremont’s American Lit class listening to people drone on about how miserable everyone’s life is at the end of the book, especially Ethan’s. How pityingly we must feel for the man who has lost everything—and worse than that, has assumed in its place a smorgasbord of further let-downs. Ethan Frome is not even afforded the decency of remembering Mattie as she once was, but now has to endure—as punishment for his philanderin� ways—a Mattie whose soul was crushed as completely as was her spine on the day those idiots went sledding. A Mattie who, let’s face it, we could just as well refer to as Zeena Part Deux.

“But that’s not fair!� 15 year-old Jason Morais countered. “This book portrays Zeena wretchedly, yet she has a husband who would rather suffer a crushed cranium than spend another day with her and must now spend the rest of her days caring for his mistress. Shouldn’t we feel more sorry for her than for anyone else?�

I give Mr. Guevremont credit for not responding the way he should have: “No you fucking moron, we shouldn’t.� But I suppose not saying what you really want to say is often the mark of a good teacher.

Reading this again as an adult, I have to admit there is not much room for interpretation here, at least not where Zeena’s concerned. Zenobia Frome is cold and wretched, her behavior toward Ethan being only the tip of the iceberg. She is also unkind to strangers, unwelcoming to visitors, and pretty vicious toward Mattie. I suppose someone could come along to argue (another 15 year-old, perhaps?) that Zeena’s cruelty toward Mattie is justified, or at least explainable, by the mere fact that Mattie consumes all of Ethan’s attention, but I don’t buy it. There is no contextual basis for Zeena being a jealous person. She has very little regard for Ethan’s feelings one way or the other, and in fact might even derive pleasure from knowing of his being lovestruck, because Zeena thrives on misery. It is what gets her up in the morning. When she is not surrounding herself with those on whom life has taken its biggest dumps, she wallows in miseries of her own, real or imagined. Knowing her husband was in love with Mattie is perfect for Zeena because it provides yet another means of nurturing what I like to call her “anguish fetish.� The whole sledding situation is another contribution to her porn stash. Remember Sartre’s No Exit? That is the picture of paradise for Zenobia Frome.

I am still friends with Mr. Guevremont on Facebook and on Å·±¦ÓéÀÖ (Hi, Mr. G!), and I think if he were reading this he would agree that my Zenobia defense back in high school probably stemmed more from my youthful naïveté than from any kind of narcissistic need to express vocal dissension. But either way, 15 year-olds can be real argumentative pricks sometimes, can’t they? Thank god I’ve outgrown that phase.