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10/06/18

Just a good a read as before.. 5/5

31/08/17
Read in bursts throughout my first few days in Spain. Didn't disappoint after a Reread

30/03/16
Very very funny. Duh. Its hard to say anything different when it comes to my Terry Pratchett reviews. Great satire disguised by lots of fun, conspiracy and a good ol' romp.

"The truth shall make ye free fret"

Ankh-Morpork has finally got a newspaper. Despite the backlash about printing presses, due to the unpredictable nature of letters once printed, the dwarves have found an economic way to print and earn, while the citizens of Ankh-Morpork can finally read about the happenings of the city with side info about funny shaped vegetables and obscure hobby meetings.

Though the story centres around William de Worde, the accidental journalist, the cameos from the city watch are great. Otto the black band vampire with a passion for light, despite its deadly reprecussions for vampires, is a memorable character, but my favourite is Mr. Tulip, who is a raging bullhead killing machine with an obsession for any powder substances (except for actual drugs) to insert into his nose, mouth or even ears (this includes salt, flour and curry powder) and self censoring foul mouth.

And here be some quotes bc what else do I have to offer when it comes to reviewing on this here book ey. They probably won't make sense out of context. Eh.

“Ah," said Mr Pin. "Right. I remember. You are concerned citizens." He knew about concerned citizens. Wherever they were, they all spoke the same private language, where 'traditional values' meant 'hang someone'.�

“We haven’t noticed any cracks,� said William.

“Ah, but possibly on this very site a strange cult once engaged in eldritch rites, the very essence of which permeated the neighborhood, and which seeks only the rite, ahaha, circumstances to once again arise and walk around eating people?�

“What?� said Gunilla. He looked helplessly at William, who could only add:

“They made rocking horses here.�

“Really? I’ve always thought there was something slightly sinister about rocking horses,� said Lord Vetinari, but he looked subtly disappointed.

---

“And at all costs there must be no trouble with the Watch.�
“Yeah, we know about the Watch,� said Mr. Pin. “Mr. Slant told us.�
“Commander Vimes is running a very…efficient Watch.�
“No problem,� said Mr. Pin.
“And it employs a werewolf.�

White powder fountained into the air. Mr. Pin had to slap his colleague on the back.
“A —ing werewolf? Are you —ing crazy?�

“Uh…why does your partner keep saying ‘ing,� Mr. Pin?� said a chair.

“You must be out of your —ing minds!� Tulip growled.

“Speech impediment,� said Pin.

---

“Are you poised for the exciting new millennium that lies before us, Drumknott? Are you ready to grasp the future with a willing hand?�

“I don’t know, my lord. Is special clothing required?�

---

“I did tell you that the Watch has a werewolf on the staff,� he said.

“Well? So what?� said Mr. Pin.

“A werewolf would have no difficulty in talking to a dog.�

“What? You’re telling us people will listen to a dog?� said Mr. Pin.

“Unfortunately, yes,� said Mr. Slant. “A dog has got personality. Personality counts for a lot. And the legal precedents are clear. In the history of this city, gentlemen, we have put on trial at various times seven pigs, a tribe of rats, four horses, one flea, and a swarm of bees. Last year a parrot was allowed as a prosecution witness in a serious murder case, and I had to arrange a witness protection scheme for it. I believe it is now pretending to be a very large budgerigar a long way away.�

---

(After William's newspaper help a reward for finding a dog which was a witness to murder)
“William groaned. It was Vimes. Worse, he was smiling, in a humourless predatory way.
"Ah, Mr de Worde," he said, stepping inside. "There are several thousand dogs stampeding through the city at the moment. This is an interesting fact, isn't it?"

He leaned against the wall and produced a cigar. "Well, I say dogs," he said, striking a match on Goodmountain's helmet. "Mostly dogs, perhaps I should say. Some cats. More cats now, in fact, 'cos, hah, there's nothing like a, yes, a tidal wave of dogs, fighting and biting and howling, to sort of, how can I put it, give a city a certain . . . busyness. Especially underfoot,
because - did I mention it? -they're very nervous dogs too. Oh, and did I mention cattle?" he went on, conversationally. "You know how it is, market day and so on, people are driving the cows and, my goodness, around the corner comes a wall of wailing dogs . . . Oh, and I forgot about the sheep. And the chickens, although I imagine there's not much left of the chickens now.�