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I'm am just in pain from this book....

This is the first I have read of this author's work, but it will not be the last. I loved and hated this book so much.

I hated the way Pattyn was treated by her alcoholic father and their community. They were Mormons and they wanted all women to do as their husband says and didn't care if the wife was beaten. It's whatever the husband decides. There is a lot more to it, but I'm not going into all of it.

Pattyn started having dreams about boys. She had all of these thoughts about life. She wanted to know things. She was becoming a rebel, at least in the eyes of her family and community.

*SPOILERS*

Pattyn's dad finds out she had been hanging out...making out with a boy and drinking, he decides to keep her in her room accept for school. Pattyn finds out the guy she was messing around with was just using her, thank God she didn't go all the way she thinks, but she was so enraged that he dumped her so easy that she threw her bookbag through a window at school. Things continue to escalate when he finds out he is with another girl, who she decides to punch in the face and break her nose.

Well.... after those escapades cost her dad $1500 to pay for he had enough of Pattyn. She wouldn't be a good little Morman girl so he ships her off to his sisters farm in Nevada. Aunt J's house was just about 2 hours away. There were things Pattyn's father did to Aunt J when they were teens that made them become estranged. AND NO, NOT THAT!

But let me tell you that Pattyn had the time of her life with Aunt J. I quickly fell in love with this woman. She was so kind to Pattyn. She taught her how to drive, she couldn't believe she was almost 17 and didn't know how to drive. She taught her to ride horses and help her bring in the Longhorn Cattle on the ranch. The BEST thing Aunt J taught Pattyn was to love and be loved. Pattyn never had anyone in her family tell her she loved her and showed her like Aunt J. Pattyn felt her mother was just a brood mare that was there to pop out kids until she had a boy. She had 9 girls that included Pattyn and then she got pregnant finally with a boy when Pattyn went to stay the summer with Aunt J.

Pattyn fell in love with the neighbor boy named Ethan. He was so sweet and I loved him too. Ethan lived with his dad on their ranch down from Aunt J's ranch.

Aunt J. went all out for Pattyn's 17th bday. She took her shopping and bought her tons of stuff. Pattyn was beside herself. And she only got a card from one of her sisters from home. Her parents didn't call! They were just jerks. Ethan got her a nice gift too.

I won't give out any more spoilers at this point because it soon becomes too real and too sad. I think it's something you.. the reader.... should find out for yourself.

The only thing I have left to say ....... is..... I knew what was coming.... just not that bad :(