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** spoiler alert ** Edit: I should mention that this is the only book I have ever hated so much that I actually threw it away. I refuse to even like, give it to the used bookstore, because I don't want anyone else to have to read it.

I HATE THIS BOOK.

My first thought when I began reading this was "This is incredibly, unbelievably poorly written". The feeling did not go away. This book is translated from Japanese. The translator should be fired. Though it is entirely possible that the translation is sufficient and the book is just really fucking horrible. Which is what I expect is the case. The characters are SO badly and inconsistently portrayed, the plot is ridiculous; it relies entirely on "shocking" events, because there is no substance behind the story. There is seriously nothing redeemable about this book. Not one line. AAGH SERIOUSLY. ITS CAPLOCK TIME. STOP TRYING SO FUCKING HARD TO BE EDGY, BOOK. OHHH LOOK AT ME, I'M GOING TO FORK MY TONGUE AND HAVE SOME DOUCHEBAG TATTOO ME, AND INSTEAD OF PAYMENT I'LL JUST LET HIM BANG ME BECAUSE I'M A GIANT BORING ANOREXIC WHORE. THIS IS SUCH A FUCKING EDGY STORY INST IT?

I am going to summarize the plot (because apparently i'm a sadist) so.. warning: SPOILERS. Not that it matters.

There is this unaffected, vapid, stupid 19 year old girl(you don't know really anything about her, her past or anything, only the way she reacts to the stupid men in this book, from which I was forced to deduce that she's a moron), and she starts going out with this guy because he has a forked tongue, or something. Then she decides to get a forked tongue, so she gets it pierced to start the process. Enter crazy asshole piercer guy: he's a friend of her forked tongue boyfriend guy and he's A COMPLETE DOUCHEBAG IN EVERY WAY. They are hanging out and then randomly some guy hits on stupid girl and her boyfriend KILLS HIM, PULLS OUT HIS TEETH, AND GIVES THEM TO THE GIRL. They flee from the scene. Then a lot of boring shit happens, the girl wants a tattoo, she keeps stretching the jesus out of her tongue, blahblah. THEN OH MY GOODNESS she realizes the police are after her forked-tongue quasi-boyfriend guy, because apparently even ridiculously trendy 18 year olds aren't allowed to murder people. She, being a genius, has him change his hair color. Then suddenly he goes missing. And (PLOT TWIST) he is killed. And then she and piercer guy get a call from the mortuary to identify his body. It is revealed that before he was killed he was raped and tortured mercilessly. She is sad about this and she goes anorexic, because anorexia is so awesomely cool and edgy, I suspect. She bangs the piercer guy some more. Then she puts together a few obvious pieces that SUDDENLY appear conveniently (nice plot development) and realizes that is it extremely likely that the crazy piercer guy was the one who killed and raped forked tongue guy. She bangs the piercer guy some more, because I guess, who cares that he raped and killed that other guy, I mean, whatever, life sucks and the main girl is SUCH A FUCKING MYSTERIOUS EDGY CHICK OR WHATEVER. THE END.

Basically, this may be THE worst book I've ever read, but it's hard to say. I'm angry about this. Not because it's a shitty book and I purchased it and read it, but because IT HAD FUCKING RAVE REVIEWS all over it. I mean, one of the back was from Marie Claire (some stupid magazine) and it was like "edgy and sexy and on top of that, well written" (or something).. and that's easy to brush aside because, I mean, what the fuck do the writers at Marie Clair magazine know about literature anyway? But on the front of this fucking thing, from the fucking New York Times, it just says "powerful". WHAT. Did they just edit this? Was the review just "powerful...y fucking useless"? Because if not, screw you, New York Times. THIS BOOK ALSO WON SOME KIND OF PRIZE. AND IS AN INTERNATIONAL BEST-SELLER. OVER 1 MILLION COPIES SOLD WHAT? THIS BLOWS MY MIND. So, to the people among those 1 million who bought this book and liked it: screw you, you have unforgivably horrible taste.