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I received an ARC of Untangled as a Å·±¦ÓéÀÖ giveaway.

This book is an invaluable and comprehensive resource for parents of preteen and teenage girls. Dr. Damour clearly defines the seven strands of adolescence and specifically tailors this book for raising girls. This is important because the rate of development is unique for girls and the issues that affect girls differ in many ways from those that affect their male counterparts. Dr. Damour offers deep insight into the teen female psyche. One interesting difference between boys and girls is the way they deal with failure. Girls tend to internalize failure and blame themselves whereas boys tend to blame the failure on an external factor.

Dr. Damour is clear and easy to understand with her use of psychological terminology. She draws upon many real-life experiences from her practice. After discussing each transition, she has a "when to worry" section to help alert parents to danger signs and abnormal behavior because it's normal for teenagers to be all over the map.

Only occasionally did the suggested dialogue sound a little unrealistic or too clinical, but I agreed with her straightforward approach and her tools for communicating with adolescents. I agreed mostly with her general advice with the exception of slight contention with the "Entering the Romantic World" chapter.

Having not yet gone through the experience of raising a teenage daughter, I feel much more prepared now to face that challenge. I learned with conflicted emotions about first stage of parting with childhood where the teen pulls away from the family to form a new tribe composed of friends. I found Dr. Damour' swimming analogy touching. A parent is like the safety wall of a pool. Children swim out into the water but sometimes need to hold on to a parent to catch their breath and then inevitably push off again. It is important for the parent to be that "soft place" and not take the rejection to heart.

Another chapter that I found completely fascinating was the one dealing with social media and the dangers for young girls. The author addresses the fact that girls post when they have the need to feel connected or are feeling marginalized and typically post hasty responses without having time to cool off. I think this is a chapter that would benefit even adults.

I would like to conclude my review with a simile that Dr. Damour used for girls. She likens them to a lake and stresses the importance of having many tributaries to keep them full and healthy.