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1.5 stars.
Aw man, where do I start with this one?
I know that the big majority of people love this book. They cried and were heartbroken and it was the best thing they ever read and shit, but for me? It was just so boring. The characters were horrendous, if I wanted to read about the most useless, passive and boring narrator being in love with this attractive, golden god, dude with no personality, and when he does have one, he just turns to a selfish prick, I would reread Twilight. Seriously, can Patroclus be any more of a Bella?

The writing was mediocre, the author clearly knows her stuff, but the dialogues were often ridiculous, the pacing was off. This story NEVER seemed to end. Now I wonder: how the hell does an epic tale become such a bland, flat story?

Ok, confession time, I never read The Iliad. I am 90% sure I read The Odyssey twice in my school years, yup, blame it on my school to make us read the same book twice just years apart. I am, however, familiar with this story. I enjoy Greek mythology and I was all for this book and its premise. But it was just not for me.

My biggest problem with the book was the characters, like I said before, they were awful characters. Patroclus is portrayed from the beginning as this weak, bland guy who can't defend himself and, throughout the book, that never changes. He is one of the most passive characters I've ever read. He is there solely to admire every physical aspect of Achilles, damn this guy had a thing for homeboy's feet. Seriously Patroclus, we get it, Achilles's feet were soft and pink and smell amazing. I got the message, and I also got how golden his skin and hair and everything in him was. Guy's hot, noted. What drove me crazy was the fact that Achilles really was the sole reason of Patroclus's existence. Without him, he didn't know how to do anything, he didn't have a reason to live and I just, ugh, really? We are going there? The whole ''if he dies, I'll die too cause there's nothing for me after him'' speech? Ugh. Even though Achilles and Patroclus had zero chemistry (seriously how many times do these guys talk, like really talk, in this book?) Do I have to believe that this good for nothing kind of guy, with no personality whatsoever, is actually the most beloved person for the best of the greeks? For this demigod? I just can't buy into this relationship that happens to be the entire focus of this book. It's like the author takes for granted that we know this is a love story between them so why bother to actually develop a relationship?

Achilles, he had no personality either until almost the very end of this book and then he turns into this selfish, proud asshole that even though is letting everyone be killed and failing to notice how dumb his decision is, is still admired and revered by Patroclus... I just...this book is just so dumb sometimes.

Of the story I can't say much because nothing happens. Seriously, we spend years in places and there's nothing to further the plot, it's like we are just waiting for the call against Troy. It is so boring and in this time, there's never a change in these characters. To me, the 8 years old Patroclus is the same Patroclus at the end. I don't know if it is because the story is told in past tense or if it's definitely a mistake from the author, but it reads the same. Through Patroclus's childhood, adolescence and adulthood, the character and his views feel exactly the same, which is ridiculous. For example, when all their greeks companions are dying and Achilles refuses to fight, even though Patroclus knows it's the stupidest decision ever, he refuses to say something and act, so what do they do? They both just consider to maybe swim or play later that day... I repeat, this book can be so dumb.

I don't understand Thetis role in here and why was Achilles so devoted to hear her and always obey her. Why was Achilles the perfect son, I don't understand because they clearly had a lot of issues.

I can't really say more, because I would be criticizing the same things over and over. I had a lot of issues with this book, this book took me more than a month to read More than a month! A book that I was planning to finish in 4 days... It seemed like it would NEVER end. The prophecy said that Achilles would die shortly after Hector, you don't know how many times I was rooting for this dude to die so everything could end soon. JUST SOMEONE COULD PLEASE KILL HECTOR NOW.

Anyway, if you liked this book, and judging by the ratings and reviews everyone and their mother loved this book, good for you! I personally had one of the most boring and frustrating experiences reading this. Maybe I would have enjoyed it more if I had read the Iliad, but I sincerely doubt it. That being said, the only thing and character I truly enjoyed was Odysseus. You go, Odysseus. You da best Odysseus!