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This was the first Drakulic I read, and at the time, I felt incapable of writing a review, although I consider it both very well written as a novel and immensely important as a historical reflection on the routine of rape during wars.

There was a double reason why I could not put into words what I thought. First of all, I struggled with the closeness of the atrocious events: both in a geographical and historical sense. This book took me to a war in Europe during my own lifetime, my teenage years, and it contained the whole spectrum of innocent civilians suffering that I can hardly bear to witness from a distance when reading about World War Two, for example. The graphic description of rape, and the information that there had been a routine of holding women hostage to use them as sexual slaves, not that far away from where I spent my safe adolescence, made a strong impact on me, stronger than I had expected. Now, when the book is not haunting me as vividly anymore, I find myself in the position to reflect on it more calmly and to appreciate the important message about the incredible vulnerability of women in unstable societies.

The other reason why I had trouble with reviewing was that I felt I could not place the author properly. The topic was so extreme, the suffering described so harsh - I could not imagine what her writing would look like if she chose a different subject.

Then a while ago, I read A Guided Tour Through the Museum of Communism, and was completely surprised by the wit and almost silly sense of humour displayed in the excellent short story collection. I would never have expected to pick up a book by Drakulic and actually have a good, lighthearted laugh, not after my first encounter with her. In a way, that humorous approach to Communist rule made the pain of "As if I Am Not There" even more tangible.

Both books however are similar in the way they describe how people suffer from an oppressive system that they can't escape, either during a war or within a totalitarian political system. They also show a variety of different characters reacting to the system, using their individual survival skills.

So I thought that might be the "recipe" to Drakulic' writing. But then I started to read Marble Skin, and I was again taken by surprise - being catapulted into a brilliant opening, describing a sculptress' creation of a female marble body as an introduction to a dark inner journey to get to terms with her mother and her sexuality. It feels like it is - again - an entirely new author I am trying out. What a versatile storyteller!

I will continue to think about "As If I Am Not There" for a while, but the contrast to the other novels gave it even more depth, pain and acute relevance than it had when I first stumbled upon it.

And I am curious to try the rest of Slavenka Drakulic' oeuvre as well, now definitely expecting to be surprised (if I may say so, well knowing that it is an oxymoron, kind of...).