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☘Mǰ徱� ⚡ϟ⚡⛈⚡� ❇️❤❣'s Reviews > Artemis

Artemis by Andy Weir
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really liked it
bookshelves: 2018-gr-choice
Read 2 times. Last read September 9, 2020.

Overall a decent read even though I had some issues with the book (listed below). And the rereading didn't unearth new plot holes (which it usually does!)
The good and the ugly: We start at 0! (I wanted to make this one more challenging than I usually do)
+ 1 star for the light-hearted banter: it actually made the readability factor go x2!
- 1 star for stupid sex ennuendos, promiscuity bashing or whatever that was that was going on with all the
+ 1 star for the world-building
+ 1 star for the readability
+ 1 star for the clear cut style
- 1 star for this gal's stupidity and total immaturity
+ 1 star for the science present (there was some of it, not all good, but some)
+ 1 star for the fact that we have got no loooong multipaged star drive building lectures (which often plagues the sci-fi)
+ 1 star for our heroes not giving lectures to each other on everyday to them things and rather referring to the reader with explanations
- 1 star for overall plot logic lacking in places, some things sounding especially harebrained: see my comlimentary rants below!
+ 1 star for economics considerations
- 1 star for nationalistic overgeneralizations, some pretty brutal (in my touchy view)
+ 1 star for getting some Russian/Ukrainian names right.
- 1 star for lame security considerations: see below the fire safety notes.
+1 star: After seeing what happens now with the seemingly endless fire tag between Siberia-California-Australia-California-Siberia, I think I'll add the fire safety star back. I don't think that we're doing it much better than those Mooners (?), Moonites? We're quite Moony here, on Earth, thank you!
-1 star for Gizmos being rather a pointless thing: what's the point of using names for those if one can easily go on switching identities and setting up new ones on the go?
So, the final overall is still 4 stars. And here go my complimentary rants:

Me is getting ANGRY! It drives me mad, when my writers do stupid things in their worldbuilding, ones EASILY avoidable!
Somehow, our misguided author decided that if people populate the Moon, they will freaking jump around on it due to gravity 6 times lower than on Earth! Just look at that:
1. Q: When you can’t get off the ground in the moon’s gravity, you are seriously out of it. (c)
2. Q: The pickup request was for a package approximately one hundred kilograms. No problem for me. I can lift twice that without breaking a sweat. Not many Earth gals can say that! Sure, they have six times the gravity to deal with, but that’s their problem. (c)
3. Q: Trond vaulted over the back of the couch (not as exciting as it sounds—remember the gravity here). (c)
4. Q: Stairwells in the core are just like stairwells on Earth—short little twenty-one-centimeter-high steps. It makes the tourists more comfortable. In areas that don’t get tourists, stairs are each a half meter high. That’s lunar gravity for you. Anyway, I hopped up the tourist stairs until I reached ground level. (c)
5. On Earth, Lene was confined to a wheelchair, but on the moon, she could easily move around on crutches. (c)
That is a stupid idea. In order to be able to get that benefit from that gravity and not just become weaker from weaker daily exersions, all people will have to do a lot (a freaking lot) of really heavy lifting (spread for all muscle groups), all the freaking time! Otherwise, their musculature will become used to the background tasks intensity, which is going to be 6 times lower in 1/6 g. So, we don't get a population that happily lugs around 100 Earth kg packages. Instead, we would get population panting with 24 Moon kg packages, equivalent to 4 Earth kg packages.
Additionally, they would probably develop some additional fenotypic unfortunate features, such as lower density of bones (which would render it problematic for them to go to Earth) and higher height.
Besides, a person who has lived on the Moon since she was 6, would probably be hard-pressed to be comparing the Moon and Earth gravities all the time. She would have been long since gotten used to Moon and gotten weaker over there with time.
The author acknowledges this stuff but only for just a bit: Q: You can’t gestate a baby in lunar gravity—it leads to birth defects. And you can’t raise a baby here, anyway. It’s terrible for bone and muscle development. When I moved here I was six years old—that was the minimum age for residency back then. Since then they’ve bumped it up to twelve. Should I be worried? (c)
And a bit more: Q: And if I got caught I’d get exiled to Earth. I probably couldn’t stand up on Earth, let alone live there. I’d been in lunar gravity since I was six. (c) If so, why all the hype about Moon grav? It wouldn't have been felt.
Q:
That’s how justice works around here. We don’t have jails or fines. If you commit a serious crime, we exile you to Earth. For everything else, there’s Rudy. (c)

Fire safety ideas:
Q:
Artemis doesn’t have a fire department. We have volunteers. But smoke and fire are so deadly here the volunteers have to know how to breathe with air tanks. So all EVA masters and EVA trainees are automatically volunteers. Yes, there’s an irony there.
...
The fire brigade, well trained, got on it immediately.
...
Artemis does not fuck around with fire safety.(c) Ok, this made me smile a bit. No, you don't have a fire department and still you get to tell you don't fuck with fire safety.
Q:
... Svoboda ... reached absently for his coffee. His hand passed three beakers of deadly acid before he grabbed the mug and took a sip. I swear that idiot’s going to kill himself someday. (c)He probably is also considered as not fucking with work safety.

Other fun stuff time:
Q:
And you could get any drink you wanted, as long as it was beer. (c)
Q:
That meant it was a secret. Now I really wanted to know what it was. Turns out I’m a nosy little shit. (c)
Q:
"After each use, you turn the condom inside-out and put it in this cylinder.."
"Ew."
"Then you turn on the cleaner. There's a liquid cleanse cycle and then a high temperature bake for ten minutes. After that it's sterile and ready to use again..."
"Oh God, no."
"You should probably rinse it off first.."
"Stop!" I said. "Why would anyone want something like this?
...
Hey, I could even give Svoboda’s condom a trial run. Why not?" (c) OMG. What's it with used stuff for sex and cleaning and popular authors? Is it the crisis? (Remember that used butt plugs cleaning discussion in 50 Shades of whatever #3? This one reads really close to that one!)
Q:
Billy, I’ve swallowed better-tasting stuff that came out of people. (c) Yeah, it's definitely the crisis. On the Moon, of all places.
Q:
“I can make a profit by selling these kits for three thousand slugs each.�
“Condoms only cost fifty slugs. Why would anyone buy this?�
...
“Do the math,� he said. “Normal condoms cost way too much. ... But my product will last through two hundred uses, minimum. That’s ten thousand slugs of savings.� (c) Yeah, DO the math. 50 slugs x 200 uses = 10 000 slugs saved. But if the contraption costs 3 000 slugs. So it's only the happy creator, who would save 10 000 slugs, the rest would save 10 000 - 3 000 = 7 000 slugs.
Q:
Irina opened the door and frowned at me like I’d just pissed in her borscht. (c) This is stupid perception. Russians don't smile all the time, that doesn't mean they are glum.
Q:
His daughter Lene sat next to him. (c) Writers should be licensed to use Russian/Ukraininan names only after proper research. Martin 'Svoboda' ('Freedom' from Russian & Ukrainian) was used as a name of one of the heroes. Well, at least it wasn't misspelled or something. The author got some names right and earned a major kudo for that from me.
Q:
I knew what I had to do—I just didn’t like it. I’d have to blow the remaining two at the same time.
Please don’t quote that last sentence out of context. (c) Uh-huh.
Q:
Her Swahili-accented English rolled so smoothly off her tongue I wanted to adopt her as my grandma right then and there. (c)
Q:
“I hear you failed your EVA exam.�
I groaned. “Does everyone in town know about that? Do you all meet up and talk about me when I’m not around or something?� (c)
And the plan-hatching is plain annoying! It went like this: Q:
“Okay,� I said. “I see where this is going�.�
...
I don’t want to put people out of their jobs.�
...
“Okay, but I don’t know anything about harvesters.�
...
“Say, Trond, why is your company assembling harvesters?
...
“So it’s my problem to find a weakness in these things? I’m not an engineer.�
...
“Okay, but what happens if I get caught?�
...
“Why me? What makes you think I can even pull this off?�
“Jazz, I’m a businessman,� he said. “My whole job is exploiting underutilized resources. And you are a massively underutilized resource.�
...
“You could have been anything. Didn’t want to be a welder? No problem. You could have been a scientist. An engineer. A politician. A business leader. Anything. But you’re a porter.�
...
You’re really smart and you want money. ...(c) Oh, really. L is for Logic.
Q:
I pulled a chair toward me, spun it around, and straddled it.
...
“Do women know how sexy they look when they sit like that?�
“Of course.� (c)
Q:
But no idiot-proofing can overcome a determined idiot. There’s a flaw in the system. (c)
Q:
And like all good plans, it required a crazy Ukrainian guy. (c) Reads very... nationalistic and gloating? Especially considering that Ukrainians what, every 6? 10? years take apart the Kreschatik cobblestones and go on burning tyres and having general massive public fights to get a yet another of their misguided revolutions with view to have yet other thieves installed in the Rada and wherever. Which just illustrates the depth of planning... not. I do realise how stupid that must look to the world but I still will break your nose for bashing the Ukraine! like them, so that phrase is a major deal breaker for me.
Q:
the tracks never had to deal with the warping effects of weather (c) So not true. The temperature changes between 150 C and -200 C (or something like that) might be warping worse than weather.
Q:
About fifteen guys. They beat the shit out of him. He wouldn’t talk about it afterward, but I knew what it was about. It’s a thing people do here. It’s called a “morals brigade.�
...
And I knew he had other girls.
But I didn’t know he was screwing a fourteen-year-old.
We’ve got people from all over Earth here. Different cultures have very different sexual morals, so Artemis doesn’t have age-of-consent rules at all. As long as it’s not forced, it’s not rape. And the girl was consenting.
But we’re not savages here. (c) Seriously, WTF? I don't think any more contradictions might have fit in here.
Q:
I don’t know exactly how the conversation went, but I assume it was something like this:
Sanchez controllers: “Hey! Why are you fucking with our harvester?!�
EVA masters: “We’re not.�
Sanchez: “Well, someone is.�
EVA masters: “We’ll go kick their ass. Not because we care about you, but because we want to continue our stranglehold monopoly on EVAs. Also, we’re a bunch of assholes.�(c)
Q:
It’s one of the stupidest things I’ve ever done. And that’s a field of intense competition.(c)
Q:
What are they going to do? Kill me harder?(c)
Q:
Dad shook his hand. “One of those ‘friends with benefits�?�
“Ugh.� I rolled my eyes. “I don’t do that, Dad. This may shock you, but I haven’t had sex with anyone in this whole room.�
“Well, it’s a small room.�(c)
Q:
I have a plan.�
“A plan?� He looked concerned. “Your plans are…uh…should I hide somewhere?�(c)
Q:
I didn’t want to spend any more time inside the mind of an economist. It was dark and disturbing.(c)
Q:
Difficult times, my friend, but there is a path. There must be. We will find it. (c)
Q:
I stopped at home and dropped off my Gizmo. Time to become Nuha Nejem.
...
Then he pointed to me. “Name?�
“Ah,� I said. I patted my own chest. “Nuha Nejem.�
He typed away on his computer. Yes, there was an account for Nuha Nejem, and no one had linked a Gizmo to it. It all made sense.
...
Everyone knew me at the port. I was there every day and my sparkling personality was hard to forget. That’s not ideal when you’re trying to sneak around. But today I wasn’t Jazz Bashara. I was Nuha Nejem, Saudi tourist.
...
Just as I had done with Nuha Nejem, I picked up a hotel Gizmo for Harpreet Singh. An Arab looks the same as an Indian to clueless hotel clerks.
Okay. Alias taken care of. I’d be Harpreet Singh for the foreseeable future. (c) I'm willing to dock stars off: this is LAX security protocol! Calm down, M. Calm down!
Q:
Nothing like a language barrier to make people leave you alone. (c)
Q:
“Ever wonder why that shit doesn’t get into town?� I pointed to my chest. “Because I don’t let it. No drugs, no guns. And I have a bunch of other rules too. I keep flammables to a minimum. And no live plants. Last thing we need is some weird mold infestation.�
“Yes, you’re very ethical, but—�
“What happens when I’m gone?� I asked. “Do you think smuggling will just stop? No. There’ll be a short power vacuum then someone else will take over. No idea who. But will they be as civic-minded as me? Probably not.� (c) Manipulative Jazz. Manipulative!
Q:
I could always make more money, but I couldn’t get un-deported. (c)
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Reading Progress

December 10, 2017 – Started Reading
December 10, 2017 – Shelved
December 10, 2017 – Finished Reading
September 9, 2020 – Started Reading
September 9, 2020 – Finished Reading

Comments Showing 1-22 of 22 (22 new)

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message 1: by Crumb (new)

Crumb Wow, snarky and fun review!


Greg Don't understand your rating but laughed at all the lines you put here. Based on this review, I'd say maybe I'd rate this at 2 stars, for hilariously bad writing.


☘Mǰ徱☘ ⚡ϟ⚡⛈⚡☁ ❇️❤❣ Greg wrote: "Don't understand your rating but laughed at all the lines you put here. Based on this review, I'd say maybe I'd rate this at 2 stars, for hilariously bad writing."
Uh, no, it's five. I even gave a breakdown of stars as I evaluated this. One really shouldn't expect the next War and Peace from YA. Or to find philosophy treatises from mystery. Or really strong science from thrillers. Or thrills from sci-fi. Or... well, you know: different genres have different guidelines, different criteria, different everything,


☘Mǰ徱☘ ⚡ϟ⚡⛈⚡☁ ❇️❤❣ Crumb wrote: "Wow, snarky and fun review!" Thanks! I'm glad you liked it.


Greg ☘Mǰ徱� wrote: "Greg wrote: "Don't understand your rating but laughed at all the lines you put here. Based on this review, I'd say maybe I'd rate this at 2 stars, for hilariously bad writing."
Absolutely, Misericordia, different genres certainly have to be rated under different guidelines. Everything IS relative, but Einstein taught us that many years ago!



☘Mǰ徱☘ ⚡ϟ⚡⛈⚡☁ ❇️❤❣ Greg wrote: "☘Mǰ徱� wrote: "Greg wrote: "Don't understand your rating but laughed at all the lines you put here. Based on this review, I'd say maybe I'd rate this at 2 stars, for hilariously bad writing..."
Yeah, you're reading my mind)))). And that's precisely why I'm willing to give the benefit of the doubt to many authors in different genres, styles and all. Afer all, we can't all be equal to Socrates. But we can all have different things to say.


Greg I agree, 100%. We should appreciate our differences! That's what makes the world interesting. And, yep, we do have free speech!


message 8: by ʳươԲ (new)

ʳươԲ Wong -1 star for the word Unmaturity you used in this review


Greg Phy'ong, but this persons profile says she is a librarian. Maybe it's just the correct use of English that's the problem.


message 10: by ☘Mǰ徱� (last edited Dec 21, 2017 01:49PM) (new) - rated it 4 stars

☘Mǰ徱☘ ⚡ϟ⚡⛈⚡☁ ❇️❤❣ ʳươԲ wrote: "-1 star for the word Unmaturity you used in this review" Corrected. Thanks. :) Do feel free to point out any mistakes you note on my future reviews. I'm just a measly human who makes mistakes occasionally.
Anyway, it's a good thing I'm not reviewing this in Vietnamese, I would have done tons more mistakes, I'm sure.


☘Mǰ徱☘ ⚡ϟ⚡⛈⚡☁ ❇️❤❣ Greg wrote: "Phy'ong, but this persons profile says she is a librarian. Maybe it's just the correct use of English that's the problem." Nah, it's ok. The 'librarian' description is just a functionality type of GR.
I'm not even sure where I picked the wrong word up. :) Anyway, I'm all for the beauty of English :)


message 12: by Greg (new) - rated it 2 stars

Greg ☘Mǰ徱� wrote: "Greg wrote: "Phy'ong, but this persons profile says she is a librarian. Maybe it's just the correct use of English that's the problem." Nah, it's ok. The 'librarian' description is just a functiona..."

I didn't know that about the functionality of goodreads. So, at some point, goodreads just labeled you as a librarian? Maybe that means, in some way, you're a librarian of goodreads, given your expansive number of books and friends. is that the way it works? You have to have so many "likes" to be a rated reviewer? That's not going to ever happen to me, I'm willing to trash books, and people don't much care for negative reviews, so I'm probably in the "low quartile of revviewers." yea, goodreads is like facebook, I gave that up cause it was stupid, so this is probably gonna be next. BS to the goodread awards. If it weren't for the very smart people in "The Roundtable", I'd definitely be gone by now.


message 13: by ☘Mǰ徱� (last edited Dec 21, 2017 03:29PM) (new) - rated it 4 stars

☘Mǰ徱☘ ⚡ϟ⚡⛈⚡☁ ❇️❤❣ Greg wrote: "☘Mǰ徱� wrote: "Greg wrote: "Phy'ong, but this persons profile says she is a librarian. Maybe it's just the correct use of English that's the problem." Nah, it's ok. The 'librarian' descript..." Greg, it's a lot simpler than that, after meeting some initial requirements (adding 50 books or more), any reader can apply to the GR to become a librarian. They can refuse but usually just approve the application. To stay on the safe side you can add a bit more that 50 books as well as include some reviews to show you're a responsible interested user. This way, one becomes able to do certain edits, which is often a good thing if we read not only the pop lit but need to create profiles to add in new authors/books/etc, correct entries of other users occasionally (remove doubles, merge double authors/books, include some info on authors/books as needed etc). I believe they don't give everyone that funtionality outright to prevent trolls, weird people, unresponsible users from messing around with books and authors profiles on a constant basis.
Here is the link: /help/show/1... . Also, if you decide to follow through, you will have to have a good look at the policy for librarians. Still, there's no rocket science in there, it's just a guide to let people know what they should do and not do.

As for the negative reviews, you would be surprised, because what's important, for me personally and I'm not alone at it, is the way your reviews are enlightening or state interesting views or spark interesting discussions or reflect your views or are appealing/informative/I just like them or let other readers know about some or other reading experiences you've had or... Well, there is an unending supply of things I usually look for in reviews of people I follow or am a friend with. So, the 'starlessness' of your reviews might actually be a good thing, 'cause people often need someone to bash the book they are pondering. This allows many things to come into perspective. Also, many of popular reviewers (including my favs) post TERRIFIC bashing reviews I just love!

As for the GR awards, I'm not aware of any, actually. I mean, I saw the ratings and numbers on the profiles and whatnot but uh, do those really matter? I think it's the thoughtful input from friends that is really awesome.


Lucia Great detailed review!
And even though author got spelling of "Svoboda" right, it is definitely not what one would call Ukrainian or Russian surname. It is Czech surname. In fact, it is statistically the second most common Czech surname in history. So yeah, author should have done even better research in that regard...


message 15: by ☘Mǰ徱� (last edited Feb 19, 2018 02:18AM) (new) - rated it 4 stars

☘Mǰ徱☘ ⚡ϟ⚡⛈⚡☁ ❇️❤❣ Lucia wrote: "Great detailed review!
And even though author got spelling of "Svoboda" right, it is definitely not what one would call Ukrainian or Russian surname. It is Czech surname. In fact, it is statistica..."
Thanks, Lucia! BTW, I didn't know about Svoboda being a popular Czech surname. Thanks for the tip!


Eivind Actually, "Lene" is right given that she's Norwegian. I'm Norwegian, but just looked up the stats to make sure.

There's 9862 women named Lene in Norway at the moment, and only 6627 who are named Lena. You can look it up here for yourself if you don't believe me:


message 17: by Lisa (new) - added it

Lisa Konet Always a fantastic to the point review! I still want to read this. Thanks for the warnings


message 18: by Elizabeth (new) - added it

Elizabeth Perez Love your rating system!


message 19: by ☘Mǰ徱� (last edited Jul 04, 2018 01:15AM) (new) - rated it 4 stars

☘Mǰ徱☘ ⚡ϟ⚡⛈⚡☁ ❇️❤❣ Lisa wrote: "Always a fantastic to the point review! I still want to read this. Thanks for the warnings" It's definitely worth reading even though some things about this book are off. Well, every book can't become the next instant hit.


☘Mǰ徱☘ ⚡ϟ⚡⛈⚡☁ ❇️❤❣ Elizabeth wrote: "Love your rating system!" Thanks! Well, there are books that are very multifold: there is good and bad and cool and messed up and dull and hilarious and a million of other things about them that affect the reader and affect the rating. This is one such case where I took into perspective very different things. Hence, the big rating list of features)


message 21: by Christomir (last edited Jan 07, 2019 04:19PM) (new) - rated it 5 stars

Christomir Rackov Just a heads-up - "Lene" is not a misspelled Russian "Lena" at all; it's a Norwegian and Danish female name, and that makes perfect sense, as the girl with that name in the novel is Norwegian. ;) I remember a famous Norwegian singer named Lene Marlin, as well as the singer of Danish pop band Aqua - Lene Nystrøm (who is actually Norwegian too)...


message 22: by ☘Mǰ徱� (last edited Jan 07, 2019 09:21AM) (new) - rated it 4 stars

☘Mǰ徱☘ ⚡ϟ⚡⛈⚡☁ ❇️❤❣ Christomir wrote: "Just a heads-up - "Lene" is not a misspelled Russian "Lena" at all; it's a Norwegian and Danish female name, and that makes perfect sense, as the girl with that name in the novel is Norwegian. ;) I..." Uh, you're totally right there, of course. So THAT's where I had it familiar from :) That 'Svoboda' thing threw me)


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