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s.penkevich's Reviews > The Odyssey
The Odyssey
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When you stop and think about it, much of classic literature is about how getting on a boat is a bad idea. This book is a litany on why boating is a bad idea. You can say it at least worked out for Odysseus but did it? Did it really? If that dude isn’t haunted by the screams of his crew forever it’s just because the horrors of having been on a boat are overriding it. The whole war could have been avoided if Helen had just stayed off one boat. So if you ever find yourself as a character in a novel (you’ll know by the sweet smell of freshly printed pages on the breeze) I beg you DO NOT GET ON A BOAT. You won’t get that �one fine day�� on a boat Gatsby is hoping for in the famous line about the futility of boats (among other things). Look at Moby Dick—bet the crew of the Pequad were all wishing they stayed on land right before the whale drowned all their asses. You know what isn’t trying to drown you? Land. Ahab might have been a cool baker or candlestick maker but boats led him astray. More like Moby DEAD amirite?
The danger of literary boats is real, my friends, Poe’s only novel was about just that. Heart of Darkness? More like Boats are the Heart of the Problem. Look what happened to that old man in the sea, almost starved! And theres The Open Boat by Stephen Crane to remind you the sea is more of an open grave. 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea was like but what if we go UNDER the water surely that’ll work out great? Wrong. Jim Hawkins and Robinson Curuso could have avoided all sorts of trouble if they stayed off boats. That movie with Jeff Bridges and his school boat was all fun and games until Ryan Phillippe ended up super dead. And watch out for Theseus� ship, we don’t know if it even counts as the same ship! Boats are tricky like that. Ask the orcas, they know what’s up.
Now in sci fi, spaceships are basically just space boats. And look what happened to Paul Atreides when he took that space boat to Arrakis: literally fucking space genocide. Nobody wants that. Hell, the Death Star is just a really really big genocide boat and that ended poorly for everyone. 2001 A Space Odyssey has a space boat out for murder and blaming the crew.
So watch out for boats, ye land lubbers. Leave the pirating to me.
The danger of literary boats is real, my friends, Poe’s only novel was about just that. Heart of Darkness? More like Boats are the Heart of the Problem. Look what happened to that old man in the sea, almost starved! And theres The Open Boat by Stephen Crane to remind you the sea is more of an open grave. 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea was like but what if we go UNDER the water surely that’ll work out great? Wrong. Jim Hawkins and Robinson Curuso could have avoided all sorts of trouble if they stayed off boats. That movie with Jeff Bridges and his school boat was all fun and games until Ryan Phillippe ended up super dead. And watch out for Theseus� ship, we don’t know if it even counts as the same ship! Boats are tricky like that. Ask the orcas, they know what’s up.
Now in sci fi, spaceships are basically just space boats. And look what happened to Paul Atreides when he took that space boat to Arrakis: literally fucking space genocide. Nobody wants that. Hell, the Death Star is just a really really big genocide boat and that ended poorly for everyone. 2001 A Space Odyssey has a space boat out for murder and blaming the crew.
So watch out for boats, ye land lubbers. Leave the pirating to me.
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Reading Progress
Finished Reading
November 9, 2011
– Shelved
May 28, 2023
– Shelved as:
greek_mythology
May 28, 2023
– Shelved as:
boats
Comments Showing 1-50 of 194 (194 new)
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Yasi
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May 28, 2023 10:42PM
Haha, I appreciate your sense of humor! 😂😄
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Yasi wrote: "Haha, I appreciate your sense of humor! 😂😄"Thanks! I got suckered into going on a boat without booze today and thought of this while out there haha
Hal was right in killing the crew, wish he had killed them all!!
I hate boats. I’m also scared of being out in the ocean! I would definitely make an exception for space boats though and probably also for true love. Poor Helen, it must have sucked being the most beautiful woman in the world haha. Your review made me laugh and reminded me I need to finish reading this book! 💖
Boats, who needs 'em.
Having read the original I must say that Fagles has done a superb job�
Au contraire, Matty Healy says in one of his songs 'If it was safer on the ground, we wouldn't be on a boat'. Now, I know that's quite a literal interpretation but your review reminded me of it xD
Where ever your travels take you, I hope it’s NOT on a boat
I know! Space boats are especially problematic, as Bradbury definitely attest to.
this was hilarious 😂 and gotta watch out for those menaces #theboatsareouttogetyou
Nocturnalux wrote: "Hal was right in killing the crew, wish he had killed them all!!"Team HAL all the way honestly haha
Rebecca wrote: "I hate boats. I’m also scared of being out in the ocean! I would definitely make an exception for space boats though and probably also for true love. Poor Helen, it must have sucked being the most ..."I will concede space boats I’d be down with that. I always that’s that huge rebel fleet in Return of the Jedi looked awesome. Though half of them died haha so who’s to say. And true, Helen was probably just like you all need to calm down haha. Though I do love Atwood’s depiction of her in Penelopiad as sort of a Regina George type.
Ulysse wrote: "Boats, who needs 'em."Exactly! Me, I’ll be here on land this Memorial Day where the only killing is of these beers haha
Hifza wrote: "Hilarious xD!"Thank you! :)
Emmanuel wrote: "Having read the original I must say that Fagles has done a superb job�"Oh excellent that is good to know. I should go back and compare them, Fagel’s version is pretty amazing and rather accessible as far as these things go. I’m guessing he will remain the staple for a long time to come. I keep meaning to read that huge graphic novel for this that came out awhile back, their version of Iliad was awesome
PB wrote: "🤣may the boat be with you"Haha thank you, or as my inner children raised Catholic always wants to say “and also with you!�
Hahahahaha 🤣🤣😂 This was so funny! Exactly what I needed to wake up and read today. Love it!! You cannot be more right about that! I personally am terrified of the sea. Been dreaming of some day taking a cruise but nah I think I'm good 😊
Sofija wrote: "Au contraire, Matty Healy says in one of his songs 'If it was safer on the ground, we wouldn't be on a boat'. Now, I know that's quite a literal interpretation but your review reminded me of it xD"Haha fair! I mean who know, maybe the dinosaurs could have made it had they a boat haha
Sarah wrote: "Where ever your travels take you, I hope it’s NOT on a boat"ME TOO haha people are always like hey wanna go on a cruise and I say NOPE haha
Susan wrote: "I know! Space boats are especially problematic, as Bradbury definitely attest to."Yea I mean look at all the red shirts in Star Trek. Space boats meant nothing but certain death.
Though i suppose it was more getting off the boat but I’ll still blame boats.
Nivedita wrote: "this was hilarious 😂 and gotta watch out for those menaces #theboatsareouttogetyou"Haha thanks! That’s why I’m on team Orcas
Suhailah wrote: "Hahahahaha 🤣🤣😂 This was so funny! Exactly what I needed to wake up and read today. Love it!! You cannot be more right about that! I personally am terrified of the sea. Been dreaming of some day tak..."Thank you! Ha SAME. Big boat with a lot of people, nah. There’s a great David Foster Wallace essay that’s just him hating being on a cruise and I completely empathize haha I did get suckered into being on a boat yesterday for a few hours so this is certainly the product of that trip (as I climbed on I said oh good a boat the thing that killed all of Odysseus� friends haha)
Haha I see! I hope it wasn't a terrible experience. I think the only boat experience I've had is at Disney hehe and that was tolerable because I was distracted. But don't you love how when books you are reading end up weaving into your life some way or another?
Suhailah wrote: "Haha I see! I hope it wasn't a terrible experience. I think the only boat experience I've had is at Disney hehe and that was tolerable because I was distracted. But don't you love how when books yo..."It was fine haha oh yea was it the Jungle Cruise ride because that one is pretty cool. I was just there in December and they had the whole ride reworked to be Christmas themed.
But true, I can always tell I’m really immersed in a book when I start relating everyday life to it
But where's your sense of romance, as you sing "My heart will go on"? :D LOL! Good review!
Oh wow Christmas themed! Yes I did the Jungle Cruise ride and then rode the ferry into the park which I guess kind of counts lol 😂 and me too!! This year in particular I've really been immersed in my reads! It's awesome
Lynn wrote: "But where's your sense of romance, as you sing "My heart will go on"? :D LOL! Good review!"Haha a classic boat romance cut short by not enough seats on a life boat but I guess we can blame the iceberg this time! And thank you!
Suhailah wrote: "Oh wow Christmas themed! Yes I did the Jungle Cruise ride and then rode the ferry into the park which I guess kind of counts lol 😂 and me too!! This year in particular I've really been immersed in ..."Oh sweet! I have to admit i loved that place, I really want to go back. The Star Wars park blew my mind. Oh that is awesome! Any favorites so far?
I have not been to the Star Wars Park yet - it was not yet opened then! I want to go so bad! Favorites so far - Baptism of Fire (part of Witcher series), Wuthering Heights, and The Book of Negroes
"Boating is like being in jail with a very high chance of drowning".---Dr. Samuel Johnson, who hated the sea.
s.penkevich wrote: "Nocturnalux wrote: "Hal was right in killing the crew, wish he had killed them all!!"Team HAL all the way honestly haha"
In all seriousness, HAL was the only character I genuinely felt was an actual person. The rest as The Male Scientist Dude Bro kind, who wax about how little they care about their "girlfriends" and who interact with women who can only be space stewardesses. In fact, there are only three individual female characters, and only two have spoken lines: a stewardess who talks about her boyfriend (yeah...of course) and a child who was born on the moon; the other is another stewardess with zero spoken lines, all she does is a sexy dance.
Also, it wasn't HAL's fault either. Stupid idiots created the paradox that forced him to lie, while programming him to be unable to lie.
The other day I had a talk with ChatGPT about HAL, it was very interesting. Especially as it kept reminding me as an AI, it doesn't have any opinion (just you wait!).
Steven, this is the best review ever. Which is why I’m doing my best to stay away from any sort of cruises. But be nice to spaceships. How else would I ever get to Mars to start my space potato farm?
And don't forget Moby Dick and . No boats for me.
Nocturnalux wrote: "s.penkevich wrote: "Nocturnalux wrote: "Hal was right in killing the crew, wish he had killed them all!!"Team HAL all the way honestly haha"
In all seriousness, HAL was the only character I genu..."
That's Kubrick's whole anti-humanist message. Mankind has reached the end of its tether: No emotions, no thoughts, no ties to anyone. HAL is the only human on board. The icon/monolith represents the only hope; not a religion but a symbol of man's evolution, or as Heidegger once said "Only a god can save us".
Suhailah wrote: "I have not been to the Star Wars Park yet - it was not yet opened then! I want to go so bad! Favorites so far - Baptism of Fire (part of Witcher series), Wuthering Heights, and The Book of Negroes"Ooo good choices. I really should reread Wuthering Heights, I read that WAY too long ago. And the Star Wars one is amazing! Worth going just for that honestly
Julio wrote: ""Boating is like being in jail with a very high chance of drowning".---Dr. Samuel Johnson, who hated the sea."I'm with Johnson on that haha never liked being on a boat, honestly not even a big fan of being in water either though
OMG boating is bad. I love it. Great review.
Nocturnalux wrote: "s.penkevich wrote: "Nocturnalux wrote: "Hal was right in killing the crew, wish he had killed them all!!"Team HAL all the way honestly haha"
In all seriousness, HAL was the only character I genu..."
TRUE, HAL is almost the most...human of everyone in that story? Which, like, it's been well over a decade since I read it but is that perhaps part of Asimov's point now that I think about it? And yeaaaa Asimov's "humanist future" never seemed to have much space for women. I remember reading I, Robot and theres the top woman scientist and I was like oh hell yea and then he immediately is like "she was able to focus on rising as a scientist because she was ugly and no man wanted her" and I was like oh christ, no what the hell haha.
Nataliya wrote: "Steven, this is the best review ever. Which is why I’m doing my best to stay away from any sort of cruises. But be nice to spaceships. How else would I ever get to Mars to start my space potato farm?"
YES no cruises for me either. Honestly can't even imagine enjoying that haha. My sister and brother-in-law go all the time and I'm like no thanks, land for me please haha.
FAIR, I too would board a space boat. As long as I'm not the crew with the red shirts. And I'm hiring Murderbot just in case, we gotta keep your space potato farm safe.
Fred wrote: "And don't forget Moby Dick and . No boats for me."Welcome to Team No Boats hah!
Julio wrote: "Nocturnalux wrote: "s.penkevich wrote: "Nocturnalux wrote: "Hal was right in killing the crew, wish he had killed them all!!"Team HAL all the way honestly haha"
In all seriousness, HAL was the o..."
Ahhhh okay yea that makes a lot of sense. It's been forever since I read it but reflecting back its like yea is HAL supposed to be the most human of the humans or have I been reading too much murderbot haha
Sandi wrote: "OMG boating is bad. I love it. Great review."Thank you! haha yes! Welcome aboard to Team No Boats! Since writing this I keep joking that I want a tattoo of a ship sinking. But like maybe the Edmund Fitzgerald so I can say its honoring my local Michigan lore haha
s.penkevich wrote: "Sandi wrote: "OMG boating is bad. I love it. Great review."Thank you! haha yes! Welcome aboard to Team No Boats! Since writing this I keep joking that I want a tattoo of a ship sinking. But like ..."
Great idea, let me know if you do it. (insert wink). While this book is such a classic and I just couldn't do it justice, I think you have.
Sandi wrote: "s.penkevich wrote: "Sandi wrote: "OMG boating is bad. I love it. Great review."Thank you! haha yes! Welcome aboard to Team No Boats! Since writing this I keep joking that I want a tattoo of a shi..."
Hey thanks ha, I was like how to even go about writing anything about this...lets just shit talk boats instead.
Shit talking boats may become a new way of life for me. I come from a family of navy men, sailors and fishermen. It strikes my funny bone just right.
Sandi wrote: "Shit talking boats may become a new way of life for me. I come from a family of navy men, sailors and fishermen. It strikes my funny bone just right."Haha perfect! I live in a tourist town so now all summer I’ll be stuck behind cars towing boats going slow haha. You’ll appreciate this then: a buddy of mine used to have a shirt that said “it’s a fine day for sailing� above a boat and under the boat in small print it read “if you’re an asshole� haha
The whole war could have been avoided if Helen had just stayed off one boat. So if you ever find yourself as a character in a novel (you’ll know by the sweet smell of freshly printed pages on the breeze) I beg you DO NOT GET ON A BOAT.
Okay I can't argue with that. Hilarious review, S. A pleasure to read.
Deviant Sam wrote: "The whole war could have been avoided if Helen had just stayed off one boat. So if you ever find yourself as a character in a novel (you’ll know by the sweet smell of freshly printed pages on th..."
Thank you! Haha watch out for those tricky boats!
