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JANUARY

Happiness:

Happiness is a virtuous circle. Happiness = more energy, and that makes it easier to be active (more exercising, more socializing.)

Exercise:

Just 20 minutes exercise a day, 3 days a week for 6 weeks, will boost your energy. Even walking. As Nietzche says...."All truly great thoughts are conceived while walking."

Weight training/strength training is also nice, because you don't sweat.

Decluttering:

Do it. It makes you feel better and it gives you energy.

Throw things away, but also create more filing and storage. You want stuff stored away, not stashed on surfaces.


Tackle a nagging task:

Studies show that one of the best ways to lift your mood is to engineer an easy success, such as tackling a long-delayed chore. It can give you a dramatic boost.

Act the way you want to feel:

William James "By regulating the action, which is under the more direct control of the will, we can indirectly regulate the feeling, which is not."

Or another way of putting it - "Fake it until you make it."

FEBRUARY

Seeing the good in people

With regard to other people - it's easy to focus on bad habits, and take good habits for granted. Practise enjoying their good habits.

Try and keep cheerful.

GK Chesterton "It is easy to be heavy: hard to be light."

Unconscious over-claiming:

This is a phenomenon whereby we unconsciously overestimate our contributions or skills, relative to other people. This again involves celebrating the good stuff about people around us.

Good arguing:

1. Tackle one subject at a time.
2. Ease into arguments, don't just blow up immediately.
3. Don't say "You always", or "You never".
4. Be aware of how to bring an argument to an end, instead of keeping it going for hours.

Showing matters:

We need to SHOW love and caring.

Pierre Reverdy "There is no love; there are only proofs of love".

The experience of 'growth' versus achievement:

Many researchers agree that it isn't achievement that brings us happiness, but rather GROWTH, eg training for a marathon, or learning a new language.

There is also the "hedonistic treadmill" whereby we quickly get used to new pleasures, so the good feeling wears off. An atmosphere of growth offsets that, that is why gardening is better than admiring your new dining room table.

MARCH

Novelty:

Novelty gives us pleasure.

Mastery:

We enjoy mastering new things.
New things also enable us to expand how we see ourselves.

Goals:

The arrival of a goal often brings more work and responsibility eg having a baby or buying a house. Arriving at one goal usually reveals another, yet more challenging goal. The challenge therefore is to take pleasure in the 'atmosphere of growth'. Enjoying the now, without worrying too much about the future.

APRIL

This was the section on parenthood. I didn't take any notes from this section (I have no children), but it was my favourite chapter in the book. Rubin isn't the perfect parent, but sometimes she is darn good. She warmed my heart in this chapter.

MAY

Emotional contagion.

Studies show that we subconsciously catch emotions from other people, whether good moods or bad ones. Taking the time to be silly means we are infecting one another with good cheer, and people who enjoy silliness are a third more likely to be happy.

Benefit of the doubt.

We need to cut people slack when they appear rude or impatient. We don't know the things that may be going on in their lives.

Familiarity.

Familiarity breeds affection in most instances. The more see someone the more we like them - although obviously this doesn't apply in all cases.

Spontaneous trait transference.

Studies show that people unintentionally transfer to you the traits you ascribe to other people, so if you gossip about someone being arrogant, that trait will also be ascribed to you. Luckily it applies to positive things too.

And if you complain a lot.....

Samuel Johnson "To hear complaints is wearisome alike to the wretched and the happy."


OCTOBER

No notes....


NOVEMBER

Kindness:

"Nothing can make our life, or the lives of other people, more beautiful, than perpetual kindness." Tolstoy.

Good conversation:

Listen. Get involved in someone else's conversation, rather than just waiting for when you can speak up about your experiences.

Bad conversation:

Being a know-it-all (telling lots of anecdotes that show off your knowledge.) (Hum...except I enjoy other people's knowledge.)

Being a topper: "You think YOU had a crazy morning. Let me tell you about mine!"

Being a "deflator": " You liked the movie? I thought it was kind of boring."

Being beligerant: Looking for ways to contradict what someone says.

Goody goody two shoes:

Exercise: Try having a Pollyanna week. You may well not do it perfectly, but it's a great exercise.
In many way Pollyanna-ish behaviour is good, and cheers everyone up.

DECEMBER

No notes....