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Read a book set in a place you've never been but want to visit.

So I'm really sorry about all the review bumping I'm giving this review. I'm seriously not like this. It took me hours to write today and I keep coming back to it because I just can't get out what I need to say. And after reading a few more reviews, I think I know why.

This is a very uncomfortable book. That is the perfect way to describe it. This book is like culture shock. Its the equivalent of getting invited to a party with a bunch of people on the other side of the tracks and once you're there, you would rather be anywhere else. This book will make you feel like Molly Ringwald did when Andrew McCarthy took her to the rich kid's party. Or like Andrew McCarthy with pretzels in his mouth.

Because when you're reading this book, you're kinda hanging out with people who are different, and weird, and who don't have a lot of friends. And you sorta understand why that is. And they do things that you will not be ok with. And they say things that are offensive. And the whole time you're wondering why the hell you're reading this. Yet you keep coming back because these people are strangely attractive, but still very uncomfortable to be around. And since I love this movie so much and this author's son is like an American idol to me, I felt very intimately connected to this piece of fiction and kept searching for redemption for it. For the characters. For the story. And I wasn't really prepared for the redemption never coming. Because the movie is ALLLL about redemption. And that is my big fat uncomfortable conundrum. Sometimes people and places and things and situations have no redemption. That's not the way the world works. Sometimes the world sucks. And people just don't transcend their own circumstances or figure themselves out or have their big "AHA! THIS IS IT!" moment. The lightbulbs stay dim, perverts stay perverts, assholes stay assholes, and everyone lives the life that has been paved out for them. And if this wasn't fiction, we'd all just accept that this is life. And this is our world. And there are people who drift apart from conventional society. Those people may be misunderstood or troubled or searching for something greater, but fiction always tries to make them into something that they just may never be. And we, as readers of fiction, don't like to accept them for what they are and need and CRAVE that redemption, that moment where it all makes sense, where the misunderstood troubled people really ARE like the rest of us underneath. And sometimes that moment never comes.

And this cold hard truth is very, very uncomfortable.

So here are my ramblings. I don't think I'm ever going to be satisfied with this review space because I don't think it will ever say everything I need it to say. And even though this book was not necessarily a win for me, it is one that will go down as one of the most memorable books I've ever read. And I will probably pick it up again if only to TRY and make more sense out of what it is saying. But for now, all I can do is try to make sense out of what I'm saying. Which may be an even harder task.
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Ok. So this book. I've been putting off writing a review for it. For a few reasons.

Reason #1


Reason #2


Lemme explain.

First off, this book is the basis for one of my top 5 movies of all time. A movie I first watched in high school and watch several times a year since. And I really can't put into words why I love it so much. An alcoholic ex-English professor hiding out in New Orleans after losing everything. Keeping company with those who have lost their way: alcoholics, musicians, derelicts, the invisible background characters camping out in the shadowy and forgotten bars, streets, and sidecars of a colorful city. The cast of characters are strong and vivid and flawed but relatable. The actors on the screen perfectly bring these characters to life. It is a movie about finding out who you are, embracing the light and the dark, finding some positivity when life makes your circumstances the most bleak. And it is a terribly bleak movie, but the magic and beauty inside that bleakness touches something inside me. I felt at home with all those people who don't belong anywhere but where they are. And they are happy. And I long to be a part of their world. Drinking cheap beer and playing music outside with friends. Hanging out in the local pubs and dancing to local jazz. Being loved for who and what you are even if its not the most glamorous or exciting life. Plus you know, Gabriel. I could always be there to keep Gabriel company.


So I really wanted to read this book. Because I love the movie so much. And books are always better, y'know?

Not always.

So I didn't know how to write a review for a book I didn't love that inspired a movie I did love. I like reviewing a book for its own merits and not for its movie and I needed time to think about how to do that. And I can't. I just can't. Because if I hadn't seen the movie, I may have liked this book better. And that's the cold hard truth. The book just can't compare. The characters in the movie are better. Just plain better. The plot of the movie is better. Just plain better. The book lacks the dimension and the conflict that the movie is focused on. And its a shame. Because the writing is raw and gorgeous. But the characters are not. The story is not. And it took forever for me to get through.

Brewton, Alabama at the Colonial Inn
Hot day, old orange juice and vodka on the night stand
There's a Chevy Nova with the seat burned out the back
From a Winston cigarette that was thumped into the window.

Bobby Long was like Zorba the Greek
Side-tracked by the scent of a woman
Could've been an actor on the movie screen
Stayed in Alabama, just the dreamer of dreams.

And so we have Bobby Long and his buddy Byron Burns. Defeated, broke, and without a lot of options, but loaded up with cheap vodka, cigarettes, and lots of hopes and dreams. They meet up with Lorraine, a morbidly obese homeless woman, recently discharged from a mental hospital, and the three of them rent a cheap motel room in New Orleans. And they drink. And they smoke. And they talk about how great they used to be. And they sleep with Lorraine and abuse Lorraine, and poor Lorraine thinks that they are her friends. Because she's never had friends. So she lets them. And its really sad. Until one day Lorraine literally bites the big one. And a teenaged estranged daughter shows up at Bobby and Byron's door. And she stays with them. And they are kinda like one big dysfunctional and very weird family. And I kinda dug it. Kinda. But Bobby, Byron, and Hanna and just not as great as Bobby, Lawson, and Pursy.


I can tell the book and the movie are from the same universe, just different dimensions. There are hints, shadows, and connection between the two, but in my incredibly humble and honest opinion, the writers of the film made better decisions. And that's what it ultimately came down to. Two versions of a story, told a little differently. The book version is a little rougher, a little more gritty, a little more crass and dirty than the movie. The movie is all of those things but with a little more nuance and style and creativity involved. And I didn't hate the book. Because the bones of an incredible story are all there. And the bones are what I fell in love with in the first place. It's everything else that kept me coming back.

He played football against W.S. Neil
You should've seen him running down the field.
I grow old. I grow old. I wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled.

He was a handsome man, he had Cherokee cheekbones.
A fair-haired boy, where did he go wrong?
He chose the road less travelled, made all the difference
Now he's chastized, criticized, he don't make no sense.
Brewton called him crazy, said Bobby Long was nothing but a drunk.
But all the thoughts in his head was way passed anything they done thunk.

The song I've typed out in this review was written by Grayson Capps. My favorite singer/songwriter. And the son of this book's author. He wrote the song about a friend of his father's and then daddy wrote this book about the song. And Grayson basically wrote the entire soundtrack of the movie. Which, of course, I loved and listen to incessantly. Grayson makes several cameos in the movie and performs several of these songs. Which brings me to my next little reason this is a hard review to write. Part of the reason the movie works so well is because of the music. If you have ever heard anything Grayson has written or performed, you understand the music of which I speak. The music adds such depth and layers to the story and the book just can't touch it. If any story needed a soundtrack, this is the story and Grayson provides the soundtrack. The music is a testament to the background and the setting of New Orleans. The bars, the dancing, the blues, the jazz, the culture. The backyard music jams, the laughing and the living. Without that musical influence, some of the magic just dies, and that was what I was thinking while reading. It just isn't magic. Which is fine. I just want more.

But don't get me wrong Bobby Long was no good.
He'd drag you down, if he thought he could, well he would drag you down.
The road I ride will be the death of me.
Won't you come along?
The road I ride is gonna set me free
It's gonna take me home.

He was a friend of my papa's.
They used to drink and tell lies.
Praised Flannery O'Connor, smoked cigarettes, and philosophied.
Now here I am at the Colonial Inn.
Me and Cap'n Long and my pretty girlfriend.
He charms her with a poem and then he breaks down and cries.
Smiles a crooked smile with his broken cheekbone side.
Tells about his life. Now he's 63.
Looks me in the eye and says 'come and go with me.'
He could walk on water, walk on water
But you know he drowned himself in wine.
God and the devil, god and the devil, all live inside his mind.

It's a love song for Bobby Long.
A love song. For Bobby Long.

So I hope this was a harder review to write than to read. My sincere apologies if I was, in fact, all over the map. And like I said, I love reviewing books on their own merits, but in this case I just couldn't. And I really can't know how I would have read this if I hadn't already watched (and loved) the movie. I may have enjoyed it more. Or maybe not. Perhaps loving the movie made me not love the book, but perhaps loving the movie so much is the reason I didn't hate the book. There is some beautiful writing in here, and the characters may not have been as great as their movie counterparts (and Byron Burns is absolutely NO Lawson Pines) but they were memorable and interesting in their own ways. The landscape of New Orleans does come through and provides a really awesome backdrop. In a way, this book celebrates the invisible extras of life. All those people in the background. The misfits. The winos. The failed writers. The high school dropouts. This book gives you their stories. And their ringleader is an alcoholic has-been with a broken cheekbone and a family he lost in his course for greatness. The only things he has left are his stories and his memories. And good ole Byron Burns. I think the book is a testament to this author's unusual friendship with a really strange man. A man not a lot of people understood, but who really really had a story to tell. And for those reasons, I'm really glad I got a chance to read it. That was probably the best thing about this book. Because Bobby Long is not all that likable or relatable a character, but I knew he was unique. And I knew someone loved him. And there is an intimacy about the writing that cannot be faked. And in a strange kinda way this book is a love song. For Bobby Long.

2.5 stars