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Here's a link to a - all about the fabulous (and not so fabulous) old books I've read.

The Written Review

UPDATE FEBURARY 2021

At this point, it's become a yearly tradition to check back on this and see whatever shtstorm happened over the year.

I think my favorite comments are when people are upset that my review is the most popular & they say it doesn't deserve its position.

It's like...lol...what? Do you think I'm going around making nearly a thousand fake accounts on my free time so I can like it myself or something?

I'm in grad school for crepes sake. I got a thesis to write.

If anything, I feel like the popularity of the review shows that there must be a lot of people out there who agree...or they want to follow the resulting fallout as goodreads users lose their minds over one negative review of a classic... 50/50

I do feel somewhat bemused by the people raising hell over me not liking/getting The Metamorphosis...

Sometimes I want to say, hmm...perhaps you just don't "get" my review? Perhaps it is just going over your heads?

But then I realize that it's not up to me to convince them. And that it isn't my job nor my right to force someone to think positively of something that they don't like.

Could you imagine a world like that? Where you are ONLY allowed to think positively about literature and if you aren't, then an angry mob of "literature lovers" will harass you for literally years? What a world that would be...

Ps. thank you for the positive comments as well. I appreciate them. I'm also hella loving your collective effort to bring this review to 400+ comments. I don't think any other review I've written has come even close to that.

Pps. High five to those of you who have read this book and felt like me, that it was a rather pointless tale about a bug that died. Don't let anyone ever tell you different (ha).

UPDATE MARCH 2020

Hi.

It's me.

Your friendly neighborhood reader.

You all want to know why people don't like reading the classics? Try reading the comments.

I didn't like this book and wrote a jokey review in 2018. People freaked out because A) I didn't like the book and B) poked fun at this classic in my review. The horror.

Two years and 300+ comments later...annnnd *drum roll* I really don't give a sh*t anymore.

I'm tired. I'm bored. It's been TWO FREAKING YEARS and people won't leave this review alone.

Feel free to talk about my (lack of) intelligence all you want down below but I really don't have anything to say in the comments anymore.

A BIG EFFING DISCLAIMER (January 2019):

I read books for fun, not to better myself.

I originally published this review MONTHS ago, for a book published DECADES ago... and I just want to say: Reviewers be warned.

People are not the forgiving sort if you don't like this book. It seems that some classics must be liked, or else .

Since publishing this review, many people have posted their interpretations of this book - some of which I can see, some of which I don't buy and some that really are quite brilliant.

People seem convinced that if only I (the "stupid broad" as one now-deleted comment said) could understand the d*man book , then my "absolute idiocy" could be resolved and I wouldn't have to worry about my children "inheriting the stupid."

While your sentiments about my future children were strong (and no doubt your hearts were in the right place), I'm afraid that won't help them. They are doomed.

Even if the most stunningly accurate interpretation of the novel comes into my life, that doesn't change the fact that I didn't like the book.

I'm not a professional.

I'm not an English teacher.

I have never claimed to be anything other than an avid reader.

Just because I'm a "casual" doesn't mean that I'm only going to stick to fluffy novels. I like to branch out, sometimes with awesome and sometimes with awful results.

And this one just didn't work for me.

The Original Review - (February 2018)

If you are someone who is looking for a serious interpretation kindly check out another. There plenty of brilliant interpretations of this novel, and so many people LOVE it.

Unfortunately, I did not.

I cannot make you understand. I cannot make anyone understand what is happening inside me. I cannot even explain it to myself.

Allow me to explain it to you then:

You (Gregor) turned into a giant bug.

Your family alternated between fearing, caring, and loathing you in your bug-body.

Ultimately, you began doing lots of creepy bug-things and became a burden to them.

Then you starved to death and your parents got their spare bedroom back.

*slow clapping*

Okaaaay, if you haven't already guessed, I didn't enjoy this one.

I am not a fan of books where things just *happen* without any sort of explanation. Nor if books that give off a consistently dreary feeling throughout.

I could summarize the entire book as: Gregor turns into a bug, it was not a smart move.

Which is slightly misrepresenting the book - cause the book actually has Gregor turning into a bug without any rhyme or reason.

Actually.

Wait a moment.

This is probably one of those books where everything is a representation of something significant in real life.

An "Important Novel", if you will.

Lemme Wikipedia this.

...

.....

........

Ok. I'm back.

Apparently the bug thing is either a metaphor for a "father complex" (Gregor's dad was the most anti-Gregor/anti-bug character) or a take on the "artist struggle" (Gregor's sister is the cruelest, because she can make music).

I mean, maybe?

I guess that could be what the book means...? There's a cruel father and a gifted daughter...but who knows.

I guess the book is so open to interpretation that it could literally mean just about anything.

It kind of feels like one of those books just written for the hell of it and then some English teachers got a hold of it and now it's become an Important Novel.

Therefore, I'm going to stick with my original interpretation - it's a rather pointless novel about a bug that dies.

Personally, I did not like the style, the characters and the ending.

It felt painful to read, the emotions and the feelings associated with the events just felt incredibly depressing.

Plus, as a personal pet peeve - plenty of things happen without a solid explanation or clear motivation... which actually funnels back into my "English teachers got ahold of this novel" theory quite well.

Ultimately, this took up time that I can never get back and I don't think I'll ever enjoy it.

How about if I sleep a little bit longer and forget all this nonsense

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