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** spoiler alert ** Well. I must tell you. Two things broke this book to crap for me. Although it was generally rather boring, and I skipped all the alternating chapter of “Troll lore�� that were just pointless (despite my love of mythology), and the ludicrous structure that switched so quickly from one character POV to another (in chapters as brief as a paragraph that communicate such deep transitions as “I swung my fist at him.�� “His fist hit me in the cheek.��) that they pick up immediately where the other character left off mid-action (must we humiliate ourselves at the alter of Roshomon?), and the “mail order bride�� character who lived downstairs and was beaten (don’t care, don’t believe it), and the relationships that were so dysfunctional you don’t like anyone at all, and the majority of characters being so shallow you, again, don’t care, and the fairly flat writing style, and utter lack of humor, and the just-not-quite-convincing behavior of this “troll��, no, it wasn’t all that that broke me on the book, and it certainly wasn’t the perverted troll bestiality-—been there, done that��-nor was it necessarily the offhand reference to a troll by a child as a “black man�� when these trolls are, uhm, animalistic wild things and sure, out of the mouths of babes, but to leave a casually racist comment unaddressed for the entirety of a book that’s all about this guy adopting a foundling troll is uncomfortable, but still no, it wasn’t that although I felt that was inexcusable.

It was the troll being stuffed into hipster jeans by the main character (commercial photographer) for an ad campaign, and it supposedly being so serious and traumatic when in fact it was just so stupid it was painful. And then finally at the end, the image of papa troll…well, surprise they weren’t so dumb after all. In fact, they stole some guns and know how to use ‘em. And the troll waves the guy into the cave…using the gun like an old time gangsta. Move it buddy, this forest troll’s packin�� heat. This second moment was just so stupid I was embarrassed reading it.

What can I say. Unable to suspend belief. And I love the fantastical. Move along people, nothing to read here.