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I think 9-year-old me would have loved this book. My 4x older self is much too old and cynical and irritable for it.

“The real way to deal with a bully is to stick a raw chicken in their locker.��

Because you really should read about precocious, quirky, overly energetic and enthusiastic kids when you are their age (and I read it only for completist sake in my Hugo-Nebula nominees reading project this year). As an adult, you get an annoying migraine from this hurricane of preteen precociousness and the desire to hide in a quiet room from all the overly enthusiastic and extra-witty preteen banter. (And if I never hear kids referring to everything as “sandwich this�� and “sandwich that��, I’ll die happy.)

“My whole family had had to move out of our house in Connecticut because of all the weird stuff that kept emerging from another universe (PS: Unicorns are real, and they are just as unhousebroken as regular horses), but like I said, it was only that one time.��

Also, the sheer abundance of weird disjointed plotlines all squished together made my head hurt. Magic + parallel universes + possibly evil alternate selves + resurrection of dead mothers + baby brother in NICU + domestic violence + preteen attraction + robot parents + a girl who without proper distractions will grow up to be a terrifying dictator + diabetes + sentient AI... There are certainly more things that escape me now, and they are all stirred into a swirling mix of stuff that I can’t even bother to think about since so many of them being superficial and inconsequential and ultimately lackluster. Honestly, this book should have been half of its length with half of the plotlines (or even fewer) and it would have been more cohesive and more enjoyable.

Do you see the book cover with all the super-bright neon color flashy abundance? That’s *exactly* how this book feels.

Also, despite the interesting title, no universes were harmed in the making of this story. Not even a tiniest bit of the universe is broken. There may be a gentle suggestion that ripping holes in the fabric of universe may eventually be a bad idea, but there is never any danger or urgency or anything that suggests that anything besides a fun and safe kids adventure is at stake.

Plus, can I vote Gabi to be one of the pushiest and the most annoying characters I’ve ever read about? I think she’s supposed to be smart and driven and self-assured, but what I got was the annoyingly disturbing image of a young wannabe dictator in the making.

2 stars from my adult self.

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My Hugo and Nebula Awards Reading Project 2020: /review/show...