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This book is a very useful and detailed guide to negotiating for mutual gain. It’s a mix of theory, application, and examples. The advice is realistic; it says to be optimistic but aware of your limits. I’ve seen this book mentioned in magazines like and , and a few business and sales books. I finally decided to read it when it was recommended on .

Main ideas
� Understand empathetically their point of view.
� Explain your interests and reasoning before presenting your proposal. Otherwise, they may not listen to your reasoning.
� Never yield to pressure; only to principle.
� Expand the pie, don’t simply divide it. Aim for mutual gain.
� Negotiate to strengthen the relationship, not strain it.

Separate the People from the Problem
� Don’t blame.
� Involve them in the decision-making process.
� Talk about both sides� emotions.
� An apology defuses emotions, even if you don’t take personal responsibility for the situation.
� Describe how the problem affects you, rather than accusing them.
� Sit and act side-by-side, not face-to-face.

Focus on Interests, Not Positions
� Show that you understand their interests.
� Don’t argue about the past; decide on the future.

Invent Options for Mutual Gain
� Shrink the scope of a proposal to reduce perceived risk; offer a trial phase.
� Offers are usually more effective than threats.

Insist on Using Objective Criteria
� Frame each issue as a joint search for objective criteria. Ask “What’s your theory?� or “how did you arrive at that proposal?�
� Agree on standards before negotiating.
� Go to a third party if necessary.

Develop Your BATNA
� Your BATNA (best alternative to a negotiated agreement) helps determine the minimally acceptable agreement, and will likely raise that minimum.

Negotiation Ninjitsu
� Invite criticism about your proposal; ask what they’d do in your situation.
� Use questions, not statements.
� Be silent after they give an unsatisfactory answer; they’ll feel compelled to re-answer.
� Say, “please correct me if I’m wrong� to appear open to correction.
� Express gratitude for what they’ve done so far. Say, “I appreciate what you’ve done.�
� It’s not a question of trust, it’s a question of principle.
� Give a credible reason for taking a break from negotiating, such as talking it over with another.

Taming the Hard Bargainer
� When someone uses their “hardhearted partner� as an excuse, first get their commitment in writing, then ask to speak to the partner.

Ten Questions People Ask
� Negotiating doesn’t require compromising your principles. Find a solution consistent with both sides� principles.
� Propose your opening figure as a suggestion based on objective standards, not a firm position.
� The more you try for, the more you’re likely to get.