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In my attempt to escape that comfortable bubble I live in, I am looking to read better by reading more books that help me understand the world better. To keep my thoughts organized, I decided to start a new feature on our blog called Feeding My Head by Reading Better, where I keep my thoughts and notes together as I read a book. So I have added some of those thoughts here for the first few essays for my review but will be adding more thoughts on my blog as I break down my thoughts for the essays.

While what I am writing about here are my opinions and thoughts, what I am saying is related to Bad Feminist feeding my brain, so not all opinions and thoughts are my own but can be what I have picked up from Roxane Gay.

Review and thoughts so far

Roxane Gay starts by addressing “flawed if not damaging representations of women we’re consuming in music, movies and literature.� Gay gives us some examples of how women have been represented and asks “how do we bring attention to these issues in ways that will actually be heard?� I now find myself paying more attention and questioning how women are represented in books along with so many other things we need to do better.

In the Introduction Gay addresses the state of feminism and the flaws in the feminism movement and her reasons for disowning feminism in the past.

What I love about Roxane Gay’s essays in Bad Feminist is that it feels like she is exploring imperfections and flaws with each subject matter. As she explores the subject matter, she questions the flaws while giving her argument and opinions. She embraces she is a Bad Feminist because she is human and messy. She allows herself to be imperfect while questioning the world around her and embracing that’s it’s OK to be messy. That has allowed me to take the pressure off myself and embrace that I am messy because it is human to have faults, and our world is imperfect. I am a required taste not too many people require and I am honest to a fault with the truths to the world around us, and here I am vulnerable and a mess while I write my thoughts right down to my wording and mistakes.

As a writer, Gay is constantly thinking about “connection and loneliness and community and belonging.� She writes, “so many of us are reaching out, hoping someone out there will grab our hands and remind us we are not as alone as we fear� As a reader, I am always thinking the same. I find myself searching for those stories that connect us as humans. While seeing and admitting my truths and the truths in this world helps me understand the world better and I feel less alone. Looking for that understanding I seek by reading leads me to want more out of what I am reading and Gay's essays have challenged some of my thoughts with the subject matter she explores in her essays. While Roxane Gay has inspired me to attempt to read better, I am still going to read what I want to read and continue to read for many different reasons. I might contradict myself, and sometimes I am going to care, and sometimes I am not. I might get it wrong and have no idea what I am talking about, but I will question things and allow myself to be messy and flawed.

As she explores the subject matter, she looks at other books and TV shows and offers her opinions. She questions the expectations of performing gender roles, which lead me to think about how women are portrayed in fiction. She questions likable characters in fiction and why likeability is even a question. Often in our reading groups, we talk about likable characters and for some of us, that can make or break a story. So likable characters are always something I am thinking about. I will be doing a post about that.

With each essay, Gay doesn't try to solve anything but gives us something to think about by posing questions. At times, the essays feel messy, uneven and a little all over the place, making me right at home here with my messy and all over the place reviews.

I have read a few stories that explore privilege, and I didn’t understand what privilege really meant until I starting reading about racism. Privilege is a theme in stories I feel is often misrepresented.

Gay says “The problem is, cultural critics, talk about privilege with such alarming frequency in such empty ways, we have diluted the word’s meaning. When people wield the word “privilege,� it tends to fall on deaf ears because we hear that word so damn much it has become white noise.�

Gay addresses a bit about privilege in her essay, Peculiar Benefits and talks about what privilege is and her own privileges are.

“Privilege is a right or immunity granted as a peculiar benefit, advantage, or favor. There is racial privilege, gender (and identity) privilege, heterosexual privilege, religious privilege, able bodied privilege, educational privilege, and the list goes on and on. At some point, you have to surrender to the kinds of privilege you hold. Nearly everyone, particularly in the developed world, has something someone else doesn’t, something someone else yearns for.�

The problem with wielding privilege around is that it implies that people with it have it easier than others when really, if you look at yourself, you will find you have an advantage in one way or another over someone else. If you can put food on the table, you have a privilege that someone else might not have. "to have privilege in one or more areas does not mean you are wholly privileged.� Life is hard for most people, and wealth privilege is not what privilege is all about. So I question when authors represented privilege to money.

Gay also addresses accepting your privileges(advantages). This was something I didn’t understand before I starting feeding my brain by reading better. I would get defences about my advantages because life has kicked us when we weren’t expecting it. However, my advantages helped us get through that. So it’s ok to acknowledge your privileges because it helps us to understand the world around us. She also mentioned � self-appointed privilege police,� and I started to question some stories I have read and wonder about authors doing that, or maybe I am being one when I do?

“You need to understand the extent of your privilege, the consequences of your privilege, and remain aware that people who are different from you move through the world and experience the world in ways you might never know anything about.�

The great thing about privilege is we can learn from one and another!!

Well, that enough of my rambling for one review and if you have made it this far, thank you so much for reading. To see more of my thoughts as I post to my blog you can find our blog here