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I've finally finished this bloody book and let me tell you...Not Worth It.

And people call this a classic?!?!

I'm going to spoil like this whole book, so if you for some ungodly reason what to read this psycho's messed up wet dream, do not read this review. If, however, you make the completely sane and reasonable decision to not read this book, please enjoy my rant review.

First off, the first half of this book is sooooo boring. Like absolutely nothing interesting happens. Like I could read a how to make perfume 2,000 step by step guide and I'd be more entertained.

The book is really easy to read and once you start it's kind of like knowing there's going to be a car crash some time in the future on this deserted road. It takes almost no effort to stay there and watch the road waiting for it to happen, but it takes so long that you get incredibly bored waiting for it to happen. That said, sometime around a third or half way through the book I kind of started to catch on to how erotically the whole thing was written. At first I thought it was maybe just how I was reading it and I myself was a bit of a sicko that thought the writing about a weird unscented murderer was erotic, but by the end of it I realised that no, it was not my imagination, but, in fact, this whole book was some guys sadistic wet dream.

You think I'm kidding?

A good portion of the first part of the book is spent with Grenouille living in a cave where he imagines himself the king of his own world of scent and gets off on remembering the scent of a young girl he killed. Later in the story he finds another young girl (as in hasn't gone through puberty, young) and he describes smelling her "budding breasts" and her vagina. It's kind of horrifying how sexualised it is.
Then at the end of the book Grenouile dons his master perfume as he's about to be hanged and the whole crowd immediately loves him and then gets so turned on by the smell that the entire town has a giant orgy. What the actual fuck is the book????
And then to top it all off, he decides that he doesn't want people to love him, because he hates people, and would in fact prefer to die, so he travels all the way to Paris where he stands in front of a group of people, tips the whole bottle of his perfume on himself; which then causes all these people to love him so much that they absolutely must have a piece of him so they attack, cut him up, and then eat him. Again, WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS THIS BOOK?!?!?

I spent like a month reading this boring ass book just to get to the end and be met with orgies and cannibalism? I did not sign up for this shit.

The only good thing about this book is that I now never have to read a word of it again.

Fuck that shit.