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Mitch's Reviews > Onyx
Onyx (Lux, #2)
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Horny women with prurient interests but too prudish for erotica, rejoice! It’s the second coming of Twilight! Everyone else, stay FAR FAR away.
Reviewer’s Note: I’ve decided against doing a full review of Onyx. I’m simply not a fan of Jennifer Armentrout, and I don’t know why I keep getting tricked and/or guilted into giving her books chance after chance expecting to finally like one. Obviously, there’s a lot I could talk about, like say, the complete lack of a plot in the first eighteen chapters, but I am so frustrated by how much I dislike Onyx that I have nothing nice to say, so I think I’m not going to say anything at all. Ok, maybe just the following observations I took while reading the book.
Be prepared for eighteen chapters of meaningless flirting, making out, thinking of making out, and more making out, starring a jealous, possessive jerk and an insecure, angsty girl, while the actual plot points can be summarized in two sentences! Of no more than six words each! Don’t believe me? Katy discovers she has powers. New kid Blake is onto her. That’s it!
Be prepared for a jackass so stiffly written and a girl so obtuse even though she’s a book blogger (cause obviously she’s never heard of the awesome site that’s TVTropes, where much more than just TV shows are lampooned) that he needs an obnoxious pet name for her and she falls for him intentionally confusing the name of his romantic rival, not once, not twice, but so many times I just gave up in sheer annoyance!
Be prepared for nothing but a string of make out scenes and innuendo filled dialogue, where every event is a prelude to or excuse for more making out! Had a fight? Make out! Stakeout? Make out in the car! A friend just died? Skip the funeral and get over your grief by making out two pages later! Don’t worry, it’s tragic, not gauche at all, I promise!
Be prepared for a villain so transparent his sole redeeming quality is that the book invests so much time in the make out scenes he only gets three short chapters to do anything! And then it’s over! Wait, that’s a good thing!
Reviewer’s Note, Continued: Yeah, I could’ve organized my notes properly and come up with something that flowed a bit better, but every other sentence was shaping up to be some sort of ad hominem attack and I couldn’t have that. I guess I really can't write a full review of Onyx without degenerating into a sarcastic, Daemon-like jerk :(
Reviewer’s Note: I’ve decided against doing a full review of Onyx. I’m simply not a fan of Jennifer Armentrout, and I don’t know why I keep getting tricked and/or guilted into giving her books chance after chance expecting to finally like one. Obviously, there’s a lot I could talk about, like say, the complete lack of a plot in the first eighteen chapters, but I am so frustrated by how much I dislike Onyx that I have nothing nice to say, so I think I’m not going to say anything at all. Ok, maybe just the following observations I took while reading the book.
Be prepared for eighteen chapters of meaningless flirting, making out, thinking of making out, and more making out, starring a jealous, possessive jerk and an insecure, angsty girl, while the actual plot points can be summarized in two sentences! Of no more than six words each! Don’t believe me? Katy discovers she has powers. New kid Blake is onto her. That’s it!
Be prepared for a jackass so stiffly written and a girl so obtuse even though she’s a book blogger (cause obviously she’s never heard of the awesome site that’s TVTropes, where much more than just TV shows are lampooned) that he needs an obnoxious pet name for her and she falls for him intentionally confusing the name of his romantic rival, not once, not twice, but so many times I just gave up in sheer annoyance!
Be prepared for nothing but a string of make out scenes and innuendo filled dialogue, where every event is a prelude to or excuse for more making out! Had a fight? Make out! Stakeout? Make out in the car! A friend just died? Skip the funeral and get over your grief by making out two pages later! Don’t worry, it’s tragic, not gauche at all, I promise!
Be prepared for a villain so transparent his sole redeeming quality is that the book invests so much time in the make out scenes he only gets three short chapters to do anything! And then it’s over! Wait, that’s a good thing!
Reviewer’s Note, Continued: Yeah, I could’ve organized my notes properly and come up with something that flowed a bit better, but every other sentence was shaping up to be some sort of ad hominem attack and I couldn’t have that. I guess I really can't write a full review of Onyx without degenerating into a sarcastic, Daemon-like jerk :(
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Reading Progress
August 18, 2012
–
Started Reading
August 18, 2012
– Shelved
September 3, 2012
–
Finished Reading
Comments Showing 1-50 of 191 (191 new)
message 1:
by
Katy
(new)
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rated it 5 stars
Aug 18, 2012 01:04PM
YAY!
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OMG?! really? are you being serious?
aww come on Mitch! exaggerate much? it isn't that bad :P I'm curious about what Katy agreed to in exchange for this
LMFAO. Good luck liking this one.
LOL! Yeah, it's not so bad. :P
Well, we love Daemon so it's good for us. I don't think that reason will work for Mitch, but who knows? Maybe Mitch will crush on Daemon too. LOL.
It wasn't that great for me, so I'm guessing he is gonna hate it even more xD
All this speculation about my (bad) reaction and I haven't even gotten the book :(
Why wasn't this marked CR two days ago? Are you closet reading?
Read it Mitch. I have a bet to win. Katy, make him read it.
Navdha wrote: "Read it Mitch. I have a bet to win. Katy, make him read it."what was my bet again?
Deniz wrote: "Navdha wrote: "Read it Mitch. I have a bet to win. Katy, make him read it."what was my bet again?"
Our terms weren't decided? What are you willing to give me if I win? ;)
Navdha wrote: "Deniz wrote: "Navdha wrote: "Read it Mitch. I have a bet to win. Katy, make him read it."what was my bet again?"
Our terms weren't decided? What are you willing to give me if I win? ;)"
hmm, i thought i just am the bank? Everybody puts in there bets.. how many days from a certain point till he reads it... remember me ... swiss....
Katy wrote: "Why wasn't this marked CR two days ago? Are you closet reading?"I'm giving it the Haywire treatment.
Mitch wrote: "I'm giving it the Haywire treatment."LOL, you know what happened with Haywire.
But you should at least move this to CR because you've at least started it.
So? You started Haywire too. Maybe I'll finish this when you finish Haywire or I finish Adorkable.
Mitch wrote: "So? You started Haywire too. Maybe I'll finish this when you finish Haywire or I finish Adorkable."well, do you think you could move it to CR then we could make bets how long its gonna take you to actually read it...(someone has to have fun while you reading this book after all..)
Considering I added it on Aug 18 why don't you go from there?
Deniz wrote: "Navdha wrote: "Deniz wrote: "Navdha wrote: "Read it Mitch. I have a bet to win. Katy, make him read it."what was my bet again?"
Our terms weren't decided? What are you willing to give me if I win..."
But there's only me and if you are the bank then...uh..it doesn't eve make sense..
Mitch wrote: "Considering I added it on Aug 18 why don't you go from there?"you not being helpful AT all... :(
we need a new thread where we can collect the bets..
Navdha wrote: "
But there's only me and if you are the bank then...uh..it doesn't eve make sense"
was gonna get a whole bunch of peps to bet...
hmm ok lets discuss this again..
There is no one else ready to bet. We are a two-person party as of now. Where do we go from here?
Navdha wrote: "There is no one else ready to bet. We are a two-person party as of now. Where do we go from here?"o.k. let do this how many days do you say? what do you wanna me to give you if you win
Deniz wrote: "Navdha wrote: "There is no one else ready to bet. We are a two-person party as of now. Where do we go from here?"o.k. let do this how many days do you say? what do you wanna me to give you if you..."
Hm...Surprise me..not in a haha-you-were-trolled kinda way but a real this-should-blow-you-off-your-socks way.. Can you do that? :P
EDIT: I believe I said 10-15 days.. But if he starts/has started reading, then it should be sooner.
Navdha wrote: "Deniz wrote: "Navdha wrote: "There is no one else ready to bet. We are a two-person party as of now. Where do we go from here?"o.k. let do this how many days do you say? what do you wanna me to g..."
haha
what can i say?
I'll give it my best shot!!
i am gonna have to think on this one for a bit.. hang in there. will be back in a bit.
Take all your time. We have till Katy finally makes him read it.
Navdha wrote: "Take all your time. We have till Katy finally makes him read it."yeah, which is gonna be a long long while...
Okay you know what, count me in :)So how does this bet thing works anyway??
We/I are/am betting on how long it takes for Mitch to finish this book. All you have to do is guess, so go ahead and give your number. ;)D is our bank cause she's swiss...
uhm ok... Few questions though :p - what are your guesses?
- do we post our guess just here (M would see it?)
- do I need to say the exact day or for example by the end of this week
- what does the winner get? :p
I think that's it :) hehe
Melissa wrote: "uhm ok... Few questions though :p - what are your guesses?
- do we post our guess just here (M would see it?)
- do I need to say the exact day or for example by the end of this week
- what does th..."
-I guessed 10-15 days from the moment he puts it on CR to actually finishes it. But I'm the new one here, so don't pay attention to what I say.
-*snorts* He cares?
-I... don't really know..Hm..
-Ask D. She's the bank. ;)
OK! lets do thisi need the number of days it will take mr.md to read onyx from this day on.
plus you need to give me what you adding to the gift basket.
the winner is who ever had the most accurate number.
winner takes it all!
oh and i am throwing in a little gift as well ;)
so nav i need your number and what you willing to betlis got your number but need still your bet.
and we need more people..get peps to bet! more betting means more prices!
Where is Butterfly? She needs to bet too..I'm not sure what I'm willing to bet. If I lose it doesn't matter right?
This changes things.. Damn it. I can't change my number now, can I?
Navdha wrote: "This changes things.. Damn it. I can't change my number now, can I?"lol. what you wanna change the number you inboxed me?
get butterfly to guess as well!
He changed it to CR and he reads shit fast. Obviously I'm worried.Right away ma'am.
FYI this book's GR ad recommends it for fans of 50 Shades looking for their next fix ... and I agree.The minimal intention I had of reading this series, is dead.
Navdha wrote: "FYI this book's GR ad recommends it for fans of 50 Shades looking for their next fix ... and I agree.The minimal intention I had of reading this series, is dead."
Ew, I have never read 50 Shades, and don't plan to. So I guess I can't really compare, but at least the first one wasn't that bad xD
Ornella wrote: "Navdha wrote: "FYI this book's GR ad recommends it for fans of 50 Shades looking for their next fix ... and I agree.The minimal intention I had of reading this series, is dead."
Ew, I have never..."
are you placing a bet?
Deniz wrote: "Ornella wrote: "Navdha wrote: "FYI this book's GR ad recommends it for fans of 50 Shades looking for their next fix ... and I agree.The minimal intention I had of reading this series, is dead."
..."
I decided I'm not betting. But I think he'll finish it by tonight xD
Lol I actually liked this book.
Sabrina wrote: "Lol I actually liked this book."Sorry, as you can see I'm being forced into this, I'm sure if you find the endless flirting enjoyable there's nothing wrong with the book. My comments are aimed at ribbing the person who's making me read the book.
Mitch wrote: "Horny women with prurient interests but too prudish for erotica, rejoice!"LOL!!! And who are you referring to when you say HORNY women who are TOO PRUDENT for erotica?!?
EDIT - See? There IS a bright side to all of this. You can finally use "prurient" in a review. :P
I didn't finish this book...It bored the crap out of me, sorry to all you fans of Obisidian but this series has lost it's spark. @ Navdha I'm here, so if I have to bet I'll say he'll finish it between today and wednesday. If not he loses his robot name....
Mitch wrote: "Horny women with prurient interests but too prudish for erotica, rejoice!"Oh, Mitch, I'm so looking forward to your musings on this book :>
Butterfly wrote: "I didn't finish this book...It bored the crap out of me, sorry to all you fans of Obisidian but this series has lost it's spark. @ Navdha I'm here, so if I have to bet I'll say he'll finish it be..."
I placed my bet right before he marked it as CR. Just my luck.. >.>
Oh he's a robot all right. Won't be losing his name.
place you betS!!!*inbox me a number and tell me what you throwing into the gift basket!*
so far up for grabs are:
an unnamed favor from nav
and lis & B will each read a book of the winners choice
I am adding a little gift as well! *surprise gift!!*
