Anne's Reviews > Jane Eyre
Jane Eyre
by
by

Whew! I finished this one this morning, and I'm glad I finally read it. I can't say, however, that I enjoyed it, would recommend it, or will ever read it again.
Not in this lifetime, anyway.

For starters, I didn't like Jane. Yeah, when she was a kid I felt sorry for her, but the older she got the less I liked her. Her religious convictions and the decisions she made because of them had Bertha looking like the picture of sanity by comparison. Speaking of, why in the world did she wander off in the middle of the night with no money?
What did she think would happen? Was manna supposed to drop out of heaven?
And I don't buy that an educated, sensible woman would just run off into the night without taking enough with her to make sure she could survive. An idiot would have better sense than that.
But by the end of the story, I was almost wishing she had wandered off after St John and contracted some disease. The fact that she didn't totally realize what an awful freak St John was nailed the lid on her coffin to me. Even at the very end of the book, she kept talking about all of the great works he was doing for God.

Seriously?
He was an ass, and I would have told him to give me my five thousand pounds back!
At least Bronte had the sense to kill him off at the end. Well, maybe he wasn't quite dead yet, but he was on his way to meet his maker. Ugh.
I also thought it was more than just a teeny bit fishy that she ended up on the doorstep of the only family she had in the entire world.
Exactly how likely is that? Not very.
Then there is the man himself, Mr. Rochester. He wasn't anything to write home about for sure. Let's start with the obvious, shall we? He was cold, condescending, secretive. Wow.
Oh yeah, and he was ugly to boot. Yum.

Can anything else be said about him to make him more of a catch? I know! Just in case, let's have him keep a drooling homicidal wife hidden away in the attic!
Personally, I think Bronte had covered all the bases at this point.
Did he honestly not see anything wrong with letting her marry him while he had that crazy bat of a wife locked upstairs? If he had just told her the situation to start with, I might have liked him a little better.
Nah. Probably not. I never actually figured out what she saw in him. My best guess ended up being low self-esteem coupled with a bad childhood.

The 'gothic mystery' part of the plot ended in the middle of the book, and shortly thereafter ended anything remotely interesting. Say what you will about Looney Bertha, but at least she pumped some life into the story.

And wasn't it just awesome that Bertha burned the house to the ground and then leaped to her death? Nice exit big girl! I gotta say, she was by far my favorite. Lest we forget, she also managed to mangle Rochester's good looks even more before she bowed out. Now Jane's man looks like a one-eyed, one-armed, flying purple people eater. Of course, she doesn't mind, because now she feels she can be of use to him.

Jane, I can tell we will never see eye-to-eye on things, so I'll just let it go. Our friendship was never meant to be. For some, you will forever remain the stoic heroine who finally gets her Happily Ever After. For me, you are just a ninny with bad taste in men. As Adele would say, Adieu.
Reader, this review is over.
Not in this lifetime, anyway.

For starters, I didn't like Jane. Yeah, when she was a kid I felt sorry for her, but the older she got the less I liked her. Her religious convictions and the decisions she made because of them had Bertha looking like the picture of sanity by comparison. Speaking of, why in the world did she wander off in the middle of the night with no money?
What did she think would happen? Was manna supposed to drop out of heaven?
And I don't buy that an educated, sensible woman would just run off into the night without taking enough with her to make sure she could survive. An idiot would have better sense than that.
But by the end of the story, I was almost wishing she had wandered off after St John and contracted some disease. The fact that she didn't totally realize what an awful freak St John was nailed the lid on her coffin to me. Even at the very end of the book, she kept talking about all of the great works he was doing for God.

Seriously?
He was an ass, and I would have told him to give me my five thousand pounds back!
At least Bronte had the sense to kill him off at the end. Well, maybe he wasn't quite dead yet, but he was on his way to meet his maker. Ugh.
I also thought it was more than just a teeny bit fishy that she ended up on the doorstep of the only family she had in the entire world.
Exactly how likely is that? Not very.

Then there is the man himself, Mr. Rochester. He wasn't anything to write home about for sure. Let's start with the obvious, shall we? He was cold, condescending, secretive. Wow.
Oh yeah, and he was ugly to boot. Yum.

Can anything else be said about him to make him more of a catch? I know! Just in case, let's have him keep a drooling homicidal wife hidden away in the attic!
Personally, I think Bronte had covered all the bases at this point.
Did he honestly not see anything wrong with letting her marry him while he had that crazy bat of a wife locked upstairs? If he had just told her the situation to start with, I might have liked him a little better.
Nah. Probably not. I never actually figured out what she saw in him. My best guess ended up being low self-esteem coupled with a bad childhood.

The 'gothic mystery' part of the plot ended in the middle of the book, and shortly thereafter ended anything remotely interesting. Say what you will about Looney Bertha, but at least she pumped some life into the story.

And wasn't it just awesome that Bertha burned the house to the ground and then leaped to her death? Nice exit big girl! I gotta say, she was by far my favorite. Lest we forget, she also managed to mangle Rochester's good looks even more before she bowed out. Now Jane's man looks like a one-eyed, one-armed, flying purple people eater. Of course, she doesn't mind, because now she feels she can be of use to him.

Jane, I can tell we will never see eye-to-eye on things, so I'll just let it go. Our friendship was never meant to be. For some, you will forever remain the stoic heroine who finally gets her Happily Ever After. For me, you are just a ninny with bad taste in men. As Adele would say, Adieu.
Reader, this review is over.
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Reading Progress
January 19, 2009
– Shelved
October 21, 2009
–
29.89%
"Sort of depressing so far. I think I'm getting to the good stuff now."
page
159
October 23, 2009
–
38.16%
"I feel like I'm finally making some progress. It's a good book, but the lack of action is hard for me."
page
203
Started Reading
November 3, 2009
–
Finished Reading
Comments Showing 1-50 of 89 (89 new)
message 1:
by
Jill
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rated it 5 stars
Aug 07, 2009 12:02PM

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Glad you saw the humor in it. I was afraid some of my friends might not think it was to funny to slam a classic. I'm pretty sure my best friend is on her way over to my house right now with a baseball bat. LOL! I can appreciate why you loved it, too. The writing really was excellent.







OMG, I am crying tears of joy right now."
I take it you hated this one too?
* dances around the kitchen *

Every single time, I wanted to strangle Jane.
I get that these Victorian authoresses were doing a lot for women in publishing and stuff, but I just can't appreciate the messages these tomes contain, especially as I am so far removed from the original context.
This one was especially vapid. Of course Jane turned out to be a strong, reliable, almost willful (except for when she's being flaky and subservient and holier-than-thou) woman after the childhood she endured. I mean, she's perfect. Now all she has to do is convince the never-charming Mr. Rochester of that fact and they can be married! Only, uh oh! Someone call Jerry Springer! We got an issue.
I'm getting stabby just remembering the pain this book has caused my delicate sensibilities.


My trolls show up on the trendy fads, usually the ones with pictures, the ones that are trying really hard to be Christmas gifts. I get the smackdown for not liking those.
Of course, now that I've said this out loud, as it were, they're going to swarm me for my classics-hate.



Just had to add that in to my comment. :p

Anna, you get a free pass to like Jane, sine you threw in the awesome GIF.

Also, I hear Lifebouy soap is good for eyewashing.
Anna, that meme made me roll my eyes so hard, they got stuck on my brain. I may or may not have smirked, as well.

message 21:
by
Jess ❈Harbinger of Blood-Soaked Rainbows�
(last edited Feb 09, 2015 04:43PM)
(new)
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rated it 5 stars


Oh, geez, that's YOU?
I totally thought it was the Red Skull.
Oops!

Also, I hear Lifebouy soap is good for eyewashing.
Anna, that meme made me roll my eyes so hard, they got stuck on my brain. I may o..."
I know, I have a very popsicle-stick joke sense of humor! It runs in my family and I can't fight genetics - so I do my best to drag down the people around me too. LOL And thanks for the free pass Anne! Any time that Michael Fassbender needs some Eyre (or just plain 'air') I am totally available.

Tadiana...ha! I'll have to take the time to clean up this review tomorrow, you know, now that she's judging me! This was a rant written years ago. Not meant for the eyes of judgy gifs!


Hahaha! I love popsicle stick jokes! They are the absolute worst!


*slinks away quickly*

I have to say that I, too, prefer Fassbender's Mr. Rochester over the one from the book. I men, at least Fassbender is eye-candy! ;)

Ooooh! I just love Mr Rochester!
Barring a hot guy, I would have loved one who wasn't a douche. That's all! Just...not a douche!

*slinks away quickly*"
I tried reading Wuthering Heights once (it was a recommendation). I don't think I've ever been so happy to have my three weeks from the library run out. And then I found a copy at home. Ew.

I prefer my men Jane Austen-ish.



Shhh! Don't let them know you didn't love it, Tara! ;)



As some recompense for having put in the graft of reading Bronte: have you tried Cold Comfort Farm?

Unfortunately no pictures, but there is a movie (not as good as the book by a long stretch). It's a satire with many references to Bronte and others.
