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emma's Reviews > The Iliad
The Iliad
by
by
emma's review
bookshelves: classics, non-ya, owned, 4-stars, recommend, reviewed, project-long-classics
Dec 21, 2021
bookshelves: classics, non-ya, owned, 4-stars, recommend, reviewed, project-long-classics
welcome to...THE APRILIAD!
for those of you who are new here and do not yet feel the existential dread and heart-stopping moroseness that a title + month pun inspires in the hearts of many...
1) hi.
and 2) you have been cursed to stumble upon yet another installment of PROJECT LONG CLASSICS, in which i divide up an intimidating book into skinny and appealing chunks, dispersed over the course of a month.
in this case, this stems from one of my defining personality traits: pretending that someday i'll reread the million-page classics i half-read in school.
but now i'm doing it.
let's get into it.
BOOK I: PLAGUE AND WRATH
i love that the greek gods had nothing better to do than mess with human rivalries. it's like if you were allowed to pick fights between people while you watched reality tv.
BOOK II: A DREAM, A TESTING AND THE CATALOGUE OF SHIPS
this chapter was roughly 60% roll call and i have to say...homer, if you think i'm remembering ANY of these names, you are in for a posthumous surprise.
BOOK III: A DUEL AND A TROJAN VIEW OF THE GREEKS
ok...the helen stuff is sadder than i remember...
on a lighter note you have to respect homer's commitment to the wartime #OOTD.
BOOK IV: THE OATH IS BROKEN AND BATTLE JOINED
if i were SHOT by an ARROW and everyone wanted to stand around and poetically recap what had happened for paragraphs on end...i would freak the hell out.
and i certainly wouldn't be all "it isn't mortal because of my sick-ass armor, don't worry about it."
BOOK V: DIOMEDES' HEROICS
huuuuge chapter for fans of tongues getting cut off at the root.
BOOK VI: HECTOR AND ANDROMACHE
helen calling herself a "cold, evil-minded slut" and then going on to discuss how her husband is brainless and annoying...kind of a slay.
BOOK VII: AJAX FIGHTS HECTOR
you have to respect homer � that is a CRAZY matchup for this early in the game. getting the big names out there early.
menelaus really catching strays out here...he's the only one brave enough to say he'll fight hector and then agamemnon gets up and calls him old and washed up in front of everyone... #JusticeForOlympian-BredMenelaus
BOOK VIII: HECTOR TRIUMPHANT
pretty quick turnaround on triumph. hector just got his ass beat by ajax in front of everyone iirc
this chapter alone uses the insults "cry-baby" and "barefaced bitch." the ancient greeks: they're just like us.
BOOK IX: THE EMBASSY TO ACHILLES
folks...we're 20 days behind.
i don't know how this happened, but i'm guessing a combination of ennui, laziness, self-pity, distraction, a girls' trip to miami, and a hero's journey of my own involving frozen oreos and learning how to play poker.
but that's just a guess. time to play catchup - 7 days left in april and 15 books left to go!
achilles, petty king.
BOOK X: DIOMEDES AND ODYSSEUS: THE NIGHT ATTACK
i'm going to be honest � this is way, way too many names for me to be keeping active track of who belongs to which long lost city-state. let alone which gods are fans of which one.
BOOK XI: ACHILLES TAKES NOTE
achilles is like...the original person who says they're into self care but is actually just putting an amazing PR spin on being truly selfish and a nightmare to be around.
another crazy bloody chapter. and not in the british way.
although i guess that too.
BOOK XII: HECTOR STORMS THE WALL
this book loves nothing more than having one character say two full paragraphs of dialogue, then having another character parrot the exact same two paragraphs to another audience. it's very me when i'm trying to hit word count-coded.
BOOK XIII: THE BATTLE AT THE SHIPS
literally the only way that the hundreds of character names in this could be harder to track is if it were being read aloud.
which is, you know. the intention.
BOOK XIV: ZEUS OUTMANOEUVRED
look at that fancy spelling. we're in business.
hera is truly #goals in this chapter...i want to spend multiple pages getting all dressed up and be best friends with Sleep. as is we're barely even warm acquaintances.
although i guess your husband listing the various hot women he's slept with and expecting you to be flattered is not ideal.
BOOK XV: THE GREEKS AT BAY
imagine getting killed by a dart to the nipple...tough way to go out.
BOOK XVI: THE DEATH OF PATROCLUS
uh oh. we got here faster than i remembered.
oh, patroclus...you either live slaying or live long along to die seeing yourself become slayed. as the saying goes. (this works on 2 levels, because war is happening and also because patroclus is cool.)
BOOK XVII: THE STRUGGLE OVER PATROCLUS
mess with the body of patroclus and your brain WILL ooze bloody out of the crest-socket...i know that's right!!! patroclus hive we stay winning
BOOK XVIII: ACHILLES' DECISION
uh oh hector!!!!! get your ass ready!!! here the boy comes!!
we just have a dozen pages of the most stunning and poetic and emotive writing of all time to get through first. but then we're on our way.
BOOK IX: THE FEUD ENDS
you might think that if war is raging and we have bodies to collect and there's stolen armor on the lose and the battle is about to be lost that we DON'T have time for 30 pages of emotional exploration via dialogue. rookie mistake.
BOOK XX: ACHILLES ON THE RAMPAGE
i'm gonna say it...go off, king.
also extremely funny to be pleading for your life and fairly convinced it's going to work because you're the same age as your opponent. fellow 25-year-olds, we are in a permanent truce!
BOOK XXI: ACHILLES FIGHTS THE RIVER
he's just that good.
excellent strategy to hear someone's whole life story, all their suffering and sadnesses, plus YOUR involvement in it, and just go "idiot." afterward. this book is like a how-to guide for absolute sass at this point.
BOOK XXII: THE DEATH OF HECTOR
you read this title and you're all hell yeah and then you remember that little scene by the wall with the baby freaked out at the helmet and the wife and and and...
i see what you did there, homer.
and it's only slightly undercut by the beginning of this chapter being about how hector saw achilles and ran away and achilles had to chase him around the city limits thrice.
BOOK XXIII: THE FUNERAL AND THE GAMES
kind of a tough itinerary but okay.
it is a testament to the power and beauty of the conversation between patroclus' spirit and achilles that the reader only spends some time like "okay...kind of insane that we're doing the olympics right now."
BOOK XXIV: PRIAM AND ACHILLES
oh, the humanity!
OVERALL
usually i find the various installments of this project fairly easy to read, because of the whole They Are Very Short thing, but this never ended up feeling effortless. that's fine � what it did feel was incredibly evocative and impressive, a bajillion years after its writing.
rating: 4
for those of you who are new here and do not yet feel the existential dread and heart-stopping moroseness that a title + month pun inspires in the hearts of many...
1) hi.
and 2) you have been cursed to stumble upon yet another installment of PROJECT LONG CLASSICS, in which i divide up an intimidating book into skinny and appealing chunks, dispersed over the course of a month.
in this case, this stems from one of my defining personality traits: pretending that someday i'll reread the million-page classics i half-read in school.
but now i'm doing it.
let's get into it.
BOOK I: PLAGUE AND WRATH
i love that the greek gods had nothing better to do than mess with human rivalries. it's like if you were allowed to pick fights between people while you watched reality tv.
BOOK II: A DREAM, A TESTING AND THE CATALOGUE OF SHIPS
this chapter was roughly 60% roll call and i have to say...homer, if you think i'm remembering ANY of these names, you are in for a posthumous surprise.
BOOK III: A DUEL AND A TROJAN VIEW OF THE GREEKS
ok...the helen stuff is sadder than i remember...
on a lighter note you have to respect homer's commitment to the wartime #OOTD.
BOOK IV: THE OATH IS BROKEN AND BATTLE JOINED
if i were SHOT by an ARROW and everyone wanted to stand around and poetically recap what had happened for paragraphs on end...i would freak the hell out.
and i certainly wouldn't be all "it isn't mortal because of my sick-ass armor, don't worry about it."
BOOK V: DIOMEDES' HEROICS
huuuuge chapter for fans of tongues getting cut off at the root.
BOOK VI: HECTOR AND ANDROMACHE
helen calling herself a "cold, evil-minded slut" and then going on to discuss how her husband is brainless and annoying...kind of a slay.
BOOK VII: AJAX FIGHTS HECTOR
you have to respect homer � that is a CRAZY matchup for this early in the game. getting the big names out there early.
menelaus really catching strays out here...he's the only one brave enough to say he'll fight hector and then agamemnon gets up and calls him old and washed up in front of everyone... #JusticeForOlympian-BredMenelaus
BOOK VIII: HECTOR TRIUMPHANT
pretty quick turnaround on triumph. hector just got his ass beat by ajax in front of everyone iirc
this chapter alone uses the insults "cry-baby" and "barefaced bitch." the ancient greeks: they're just like us.
BOOK IX: THE EMBASSY TO ACHILLES
folks...we're 20 days behind.
i don't know how this happened, but i'm guessing a combination of ennui, laziness, self-pity, distraction, a girls' trip to miami, and a hero's journey of my own involving frozen oreos and learning how to play poker.
but that's just a guess. time to play catchup - 7 days left in april and 15 books left to go!
achilles, petty king.
BOOK X: DIOMEDES AND ODYSSEUS: THE NIGHT ATTACK
i'm going to be honest � this is way, way too many names for me to be keeping active track of who belongs to which long lost city-state. let alone which gods are fans of which one.
BOOK XI: ACHILLES TAKES NOTE
achilles is like...the original person who says they're into self care but is actually just putting an amazing PR spin on being truly selfish and a nightmare to be around.
another crazy bloody chapter. and not in the british way.
although i guess that too.
BOOK XII: HECTOR STORMS THE WALL
this book loves nothing more than having one character say two full paragraphs of dialogue, then having another character parrot the exact same two paragraphs to another audience. it's very me when i'm trying to hit word count-coded.
BOOK XIII: THE BATTLE AT THE SHIPS
literally the only way that the hundreds of character names in this could be harder to track is if it were being read aloud.
which is, you know. the intention.
BOOK XIV: ZEUS OUTMANOEUVRED
look at that fancy spelling. we're in business.
hera is truly #goals in this chapter...i want to spend multiple pages getting all dressed up and be best friends with Sleep. as is we're barely even warm acquaintances.
although i guess your husband listing the various hot women he's slept with and expecting you to be flattered is not ideal.
BOOK XV: THE GREEKS AT BAY
imagine getting killed by a dart to the nipple...tough way to go out.
BOOK XVI: THE DEATH OF PATROCLUS
uh oh. we got here faster than i remembered.
oh, patroclus...you either live slaying or live long along to die seeing yourself become slayed. as the saying goes. (this works on 2 levels, because war is happening and also because patroclus is cool.)
BOOK XVII: THE STRUGGLE OVER PATROCLUS
mess with the body of patroclus and your brain WILL ooze bloody out of the crest-socket...i know that's right!!! patroclus hive we stay winning
BOOK XVIII: ACHILLES' DECISION
uh oh hector!!!!! get your ass ready!!! here the boy comes!!
we just have a dozen pages of the most stunning and poetic and emotive writing of all time to get through first. but then we're on our way.
BOOK IX: THE FEUD ENDS
you might think that if war is raging and we have bodies to collect and there's stolen armor on the lose and the battle is about to be lost that we DON'T have time for 30 pages of emotional exploration via dialogue. rookie mistake.
BOOK XX: ACHILLES ON THE RAMPAGE
i'm gonna say it...go off, king.
also extremely funny to be pleading for your life and fairly convinced it's going to work because you're the same age as your opponent. fellow 25-year-olds, we are in a permanent truce!
BOOK XXI: ACHILLES FIGHTS THE RIVER
he's just that good.
excellent strategy to hear someone's whole life story, all their suffering and sadnesses, plus YOUR involvement in it, and just go "idiot." afterward. this book is like a how-to guide for absolute sass at this point.
BOOK XXII: THE DEATH OF HECTOR
you read this title and you're all hell yeah and then you remember that little scene by the wall with the baby freaked out at the helmet and the wife and and and...
i see what you did there, homer.
and it's only slightly undercut by the beginning of this chapter being about how hector saw achilles and ran away and achilles had to chase him around the city limits thrice.
BOOK XXIII: THE FUNERAL AND THE GAMES
kind of a tough itinerary but okay.
it is a testament to the power and beauty of the conversation between patroclus' spirit and achilles that the reader only spends some time like "okay...kind of insane that we're doing the olympics right now."
BOOK XXIV: PRIAM AND ACHILLES
oh, the humanity!
OVERALL
usually i find the various installments of this project fairly easy to read, because of the whole They Are Very Short thing, but this never ended up feeling effortless. that's fine � what it did feel was incredibly evocative and impressive, a bajillion years after its writing.
rating: 4
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Reading Progress
December 13, 2021
– Shelved
April 3, 2023
–
Started Reading
April 30, 2023
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Finished Reading
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by
Emma
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Dec 21, 2021 07:21AM
I like to pretend that someday I’ll finish The Iliad
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I reread it last year. It’s so much better when you don’t have to read it for school🤣
Emma wrote: "I like to pretend that someday I’ll finish The Iliad"a good dream
TMR wrote: "Same."woo!
Floriane wrote: "Same here 😬"woo again!
CJ wrote: "I reread it last year. It’s so much better when you don’t have to read it for school🤣"that's what i like to hear
I swear, everytime I see you read your monthly classics I have an "ARI BECOME A CLASSICS GIRL" crisis haha
I love this, I always want to read classics but can never finish them...
I started to read the Iliad but I got super confused so I gave up butttt this gives me inspiration (which is much needed)
I just binge read all your reviews and I absolutely loved them, please write a book :)
please tell me the odyssey and the aeneid are next!
@phoebe the odyssey and the mayneid LMAOO
In a question completely unrelated to your review: how do you get the alternative cover to appear next to your review?
Melissa wrote: "In a question completely unrelated to your review: how do you get the alternative cover to appear next to your review?"On the website on a computer, when you go to the books page you should see something under the synopsis that shows you the different book editions. If you click "show all editions" you can switch to the one you want to show up on your updates/review! Hope that helps :)
Or on the app, go to "book details" and select "editions" scroll, and choose an edition that correctly fits your copy!
"Homer, if you think I'm remembering ANY of these names, you're in for a posthumous surprise." Killer line. And I feel that.
Thanks to everyone who replied to my question :)
I’m glad I’m not the only one skips over/not retain a long list of names� give me the names I need to know and that are crucial to the story.
I LOVE THIS BOOK the ending is probably one of my favorites its still so poignant all this time haha!!!!
“Apriliad� that deserves a Pulitzer
s.penkevich said “‘Apriliad� that deserves a Pulitzer� Definitely 😂
You make me want to read the Iliad and actually finish it this time! Especially as a summer read <3
This review was the highlight of my day! Absolutely hilarious. Thank you for writing it!
Saw this and got a good kick out of it. Also as someone pointed out in the comments above, these books are so much more enjoyable when you don't have to read them for a class!
Loved the review. Confused as to the 4 star rating.
just saw book 9 and the relief i have also knowing THE apriliader was 20 days behind too is giving me strength
I agree, it IS a LOT of names, but I'd like to think that the audiences that first heard the tale had ancestors mentioned in the story. Also I think it was Homer's way of keeping those warriors' memories alive, so they would not be lost to time however brutal and short their lives may have been.
