欧宝娱乐

Years ago there was a poster that appeared around Melbourne of a young man with one of those far away looks in his eyes. The photo in the poster was extreme close up and the expression on the young man鈥檚 face was that which I believe only comes from religious ecstasy or a particularly transporting bowel movement. In bold type under this young man鈥檚 face was the single word Happiness. Below this in smaller type was Transcendental Meditation. I figured we were talking religion rather than laxative in this particular case.

I remember thinking when I first saw this poster that if THAT is happiness then I would rather be un-happy (or perhaps that should be non-happy? Hard to say).

This book made me happy. At times it made me use the laugh I generally only reserve for a Wodehouse Wooster novel. The guy who wrote 50 Psychology Classics got me onto him by comparing him to Bryson. Actually, Bryson can be a little more surreal in his humour 鈥� particularly in Notes from a Big Country 鈥� but I still LOL-ed.

Premise of the book. Why is it that we prove to be remarkably hopeless at judging what later versions of ourselves will like or want? We marry people we think we will be happy with in old age only to toss them in mid-life. We study to be idealists and philosophers only to end up cynical readers of psychology. Why are we so hopeless at working out what will make us happy?

The answer this book provides isn鈥檛 going to win it the Dr Phil 鈥楶ut a Smile on Your Dial鈥� Award for best self-help book. But it might just help you to understand why we tend to be unimpressive at knowing what is going to make us happy.

This really is a wonderful book. The discussion on conjoined twins saying they are 鈥榟appy鈥� and our normal responses to hearing this (鈥榯he poor wee things, they can鈥檛 know any better, imagine them thinking they are happy鈥�) made me cringe as only a patronising overstatement of what I was thinking myself can do.

About 10 years ago I went to a high school reunion. I knew it would be a mistake and I wasn鈥檛 disappointed. What was interesting was that I鈥檝e always seen myself as quite different from everyone I went to school with. But that afternoon I found I was as bland everybody else. Everyone, it seemed, had two kids, lived within 5 kilometres of school and worked in the city. Whatever details separated us, what united us seemed much more obvious. I鈥檝e never felt more like a cog in a machine.

But I walked out of there and went back to believing I鈥檓 an individual and remained contented in my own non-identity with those around me. This book has had much the same effect as that high school reunion. In fact, the lesson of this book is that we are much more like everyone else than we like to imagine 鈥� and it is this disinclination to admit to it that is one of the major reasons why we are so terrible at predicting what future events will be like for us.

For example, tomorrow you are going to go blind 鈥� how do you think you are going to feel? I guess the words, 鈥淣ot particularly delighted鈥�, don鈥檛 quite cover it. But this book points out that we generally thing we are going to feel infinitely worse than we actually end up feeling. We think we would 鈥榬ather be dead鈥� 鈥� whereas people who end up blind generally don鈥檛 end up killing themselves over it.

And if we underestimate how unhappy we will be if bad things happen to us we also overestimate how happy we will be when good things happen to us.

This book doesn鈥檛 really offer any answers 鈥� if you are looking for the answer to the question what is happiness you will probably have to turn to your guru of choice. What this book does do is show how we are remarkably consistent at fooling ourselves in ways that have negative effects on our happiness and shows some ways we may be able to take control.

I don鈥檛 want to spoil this for you 鈥� but the bit about the people in the old people鈥檚 home who had control over when young visitors would come see them was one of the saddest things I鈥檝e read in a long time. Is there anything sadder than our unintended consequences when they cause infinite harm to others? When, 鈥榖ut I really didn鈥檛 mean it鈥� just doesn鈥檛 sate our despair.

If I have a preference for people it is for people who make me laugh, It is a sad fact that I鈥檓 more likely to think someone is 鈥榦n the money鈥� if they also make me smile. Of course, there probably is no relationship at all between the worth of an argument and how often the writer makes me smile 鈥� but you鈥檒l never convince me of that. This is a wonderful book and well worth reading. I鈥檝e started to watch the You-Tube Video Richard attached 鈥� it looks great, but it is too late for me now. There will be time for such a word. Oh, and that is the other reason why I loved this book. Each chapter starts with a remarkably apt quote from Shakespeare. Got to love someone who quotes Shakespeare at you and does so in context.