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5 ��

“�� I would walk sail 500 [nautical] miles
and I would walk sail 500 more,
just to be the man who walked sailed a thousand [nautical] miles
to fall down slay the suitors at your door.��
- Odysseus the Proclaimer


I’ve been under the weather the last week or so, feeling about as upbeat as Uranus�� following his castration at the hands of his own Son Cronus; or as joyous as Pasiphae recovering her senses and grasping the full extent of her dalliance with the snow-white bull. Alas, I’m better now and am pleased to finally get a chance to “review�� this beauty! In keeping with my self-enforced regulation on bringing an unparalleled level of sophistication and succinctness to my analyses of these illustrious cornerstones of Western Mythology, I’ll be covering the themes that stood out most prominently to me and strictly in the most intellectual and earnest fashion.


"Welcome the coming, speed the parting guest!"
The Guest-Host Code of Conduct is a constant throughout Homer’s poem and, when compared to the state of modern hospitality, it becomes clear that we’ve lost our way; By the river Styx, woe be us, we have lost our way! Not once do I recall a host ever offering to have me bathed, rubbed down with oil and dressed in a fine robe when I've deigned to visit their abode. What has come of us?! Has Zeus, being the God this most concerns, lost his zeal for the divine enforcement of the etiquette of hospitality? For the love of the Gods, lather me! And forget not to bestow upon me a parting gift!
In general, a host is most likely to be at fault in the interaction between guest and host if they don’t properly cater to any wayward soul that stumbles upon their palace but the opposite can also be seen in the 108 suitors who, in attempting to court the absent Odysseus�� wife, Penelope, in a brutish, non-ritualistic manner, take advantage of their host’s hospitality, consuming their reserves of food and wine and ravishing their female servants.
If the domestic settings of Homer's epics are at all reflective of Ancient Greek society in the time they were written, there is an interesting parallel regarding ritual propriety and even, to a lesser degree, filial piety with Chinese culture in the time of Confucius, several hundred years later.


”The fame of her great virtue will never die.
The immortal gods will lift a song for all mankind,
A glorious song in praise of self-possessed Penelope�� - Agamemnon
Loyalty and faithfulness, in all their forms are a big one and nobody embodies these more than Odysseus�� wife, Penelope, the soul of loyalty! (Besides maybe Argos, the loyal dog) Despite Odysseus advising her to wed the man she likes as soon as she sees hair on, their son, Telemachus�� face, she holds out for 20 years despite 108 oily degenerates attempting to court her when it is presumed Odysseus dies at Troy. What a woman! Gents, find yourself a Penelope! Ladies, if the men in this book are anything to go by, I’m afraid you’ll probably have to settle for a Pepé Le Pew.
It’s probably worth noting that Hesiod, Homer's contemporary, states, in his Theogony of the Gods, that Odysseus sired 4 children on his 10-year journey home; 2 with Calypso and 2 with Circe. So, while Penelope was faithfully waiting for him at home, he was gettin�� down with 2 Nymph Goddesses (that we know of)! Ok, I’m being a little flippant here; at least one of these was totally against his will *wink, wink, nudge, nudge*. One notices a distinct lack of detail when Odysseus recounts his adventures to his wife.


”When a man cries, it’s the last thing he wants to do�� He will do anything but cry. He will stop himself crying no matter how tragic it is. And he would do everything, and only when he’s completely defeated emotionally will he start to cry properly.�� - Michael Caine
Michael Caine obviously never read ‘The Odyssey�� ‘cos while resilience/perseverance are another major theme of ‘The Odyssey��, there is also A LOT of grown ass men crying! There’s nothing wrong with that and, in context, I should mention that Caine made that comment in an acting masterclass BUT these are battle-hardened soldiers who are returning home from a 10-year war and have absolutely no qualms raping and pillaging as they go. I hardly think they are the super-sentimental types. I’m not talking a tear trickling down the cheek either; we’re talking platoons of soldiers in a communal sob session, wailing, shrieking, going full Timberlake-cry-me-a-river at the slightest provocation! However, once the tears have abated, our characters always push on, particularly Odysseus and “what good can come of grief?�� appears a recurring rhetorical query and the message appears to be, dust yourself off and carry on!


Odysseus is not a great guy really, but his determination and ability to will himself on in the face of great odds is endearing, regardless of his shortcomings. He is the hero of the story and held in high esteem for possessing many of the typical Homeric heroes attributes: Strength, bravery, godly physique, and also diplomacy, tactfulness, cunning and deceitfulness (also seen as a positive attribute). I couldn’t help having a bit of a chuckle when Odysseus and a small number of his crew are stuck in, the Cyclops, Polyphemus�� cave and trying to deduce a means of escape. Homer is really trying to drive home Odysseus�� cunning�� ”My wits kept weaving, weaving cunning schemes�� till this plan struck my mind as best�� and then:

”Hey, hey, guys, GUYS! Hide yourselves beneath the sheep! Two sheep to a man; except me, I’ll take this large one. He’ll never see us! Oh, Gods be praised, I’m so cunning; a real clever sausage!��

Odysseus at his finest! A man endowed with the God’s own wisdom; foxy, ingenious!.... Anyone who thinks Homer didn’t have a sense of humour is kidding themselves.


Following a positive experience with Robert Fagles�� translation of ‘The Iliad��, I opted for the deluxe edition of his Odyssey translation for the ‘Penguin Classics�� line and, once again, I thought it was very readable. It’s a non-rhyming verse translation with varying line length. I think it succeeds in sounding traditional while also being absolutely accessible to the modern reader. Fagles mentions something along the lines of Homer’s works being quite fast paced and energetic and, without any knowledge of the original, it seems to me that he's succeeded in maintaining this high level of rapidity and excitement. There was only one example of, what I thought was, a poor translation when, at one point, Fagles uses the phrase ”cramping my style��. I’m being knit-picky but it doesn’t fit with the overall tone of the rest of the text and feels too modern. Bernard Knox’s introduction and notes are also, once again, fascinating and illuminating regarding the origins and the nature of the poem, particularly a discussion on the more prominent (read:existent) role of women in the Odyssey when compared with the sausage-fest that is the Iliad.


More than anything, for me, ‘The Odyssey�� is just a rollicking good adventure! If you’re perhaps someone who tried the Iliad and didn’t enjoy it (what is wrong with you?!) but really love Mythology retellings, you may very well still love this one which has an entirely different thematic focus and overall tone; less relentless war, more of combination of treachorous journey and domestic affair! I really can’t recommend it highly enough.
It's as glorious as the young dawn with her rose-red fingers!