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I found this book an insightful and sometimes deeply moving look at how generational trauma affects people’s mental health and relationships. Galit Atlas a psychoanalytic therapist, describes several of her therapy cases and how people’s family histories affected the course of their treatment with her. I appreciated her consistent empathy for her clients as well as her accessible writing style. I felt really emotional in a couple of instances while reading this book, such as when she described a woman having an extramarital affair and the deeper reasons underlying her cheating (e.g., avoiding agency, wanting someone to take care of her) and how this woman grew and healed, as well as the man who tried to distance himself from Atlas (e.g., saying things like “it’s okay if you don’t want to see me, you’re my therapist not my mother) because of how his own mother rejected him. Compelling content!

A couple of things I didn’t love: first, I found the stories a little too neat at times? While Atlas definitely includes nuanced cases, I felt like they followed a format of, client experiences some angst, Atlas helps the client draw an insight to their family of origin, and then this insight pretty much does all the work of aiding the client’s recovery. I know insight is a cornerstone of psychoanalytic and dynamic approaches though this portrayal almost felt a bit too convenient for me at times. I also felt iffy about a couple of things Atlas wrote about in relation to sociocultural issues. While generally I thought she did a nice job of addressing issues like the restrictive norms of masculinity, there was one comment for example she made about a certain sexual act between a man and a woman meaning X thing, which I found a kind of odd, heteronormative, and somewhat gender-stereotypical/binary statement.

Anyway, despite my constructive critiques I think fans of What My Bones Know and Maybe You Should Talk to Someone may enjoy this book.