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“The fear of losing each other is always stronger than the pain we cause.��

�� 3.5 stars

What in the trauma dump was that?! But also, give me more of it 🤗 This is the perfect read for fans of Gossip Girl.

╰⪼ Plot

Lily and Lo are co-dependent and feed off each others addiction in a self destructive cycle. Lily is a sex addict, which was interesting to read about as I haven't seen this represented by an fmc in a book before. Lo is an alcoholic and they devise a plan to fake date to keep their family off their backs so they can lose themselves in their bad habits. Their relationship goes much deeper as they have been best friends since they were children and have only had each other to rely on.

╰⪼ Thoughts

“I love you, but I want to love you enough that I never choose alcohol over you. Not even for a moment. I want to be someone you deserve.��

There's a lot of layers to unpack here, between their family drama, the addiction, the friend group dynamic etc. These characters are DEEPLY flawed and toxic. Neither of the main characters were super likeable in this book as they were shown in their worst state, at the height of their addition. The series has a lot of potential to see their personal growth which is already starting to unfold by the end of this book.

“No one told me you can love someone and still be miserable. How is that possible?��

This is just the start and they have a long way to go but they have so much love for each other. Lily was pretty blind to not see Lo's love for her, but at the same time, he heavily enabled her, so it was hard to completely love him. One thing I should warn you about is to be prepared to be feel the secondhand embarrassment. Some of their scenes are so uncomfortable, I had to throw the book and run away, but then I immediately came right back for more 💀

“I’ll always be yours. No distance or time apart will change that, Lily. You need to believe that.��

Out of the friend group, my favourite is currently Rose. Ryke was getting on my nerves a lot in this book, he just had too many opinions and inserted himself in everything. I understand why, to an extent, but he had too much of a saviour complex for me and felt entitled to Lily and Daisy's personal life when he had only been around for two seconds. Daisy's book is going to be interesting �� I'm assuming there will be a time jump because of her age but it's easy to tell she is struggling with trauma of her own. Connor is a bit of an ass but at least he's upfront about it �� he did make me laugh a few times.

“I fear the moment where neither of us can breathe again—when someone discovers our secrets. At any moment��

I didn't love how Ryke, Connor and Rose handled Lily's addiction. Lo and Lily have never let people in before �� she didn't need people talking about her in front of her, especially outside of her family. Ryke in particular was nasty towards her and I thought Rose could have been a better sister by not blabbing her business to her boyfriend. Overall, I love found family and I can see this group being a fave of my in time.

“Neither of us is willing to give up what we love for each other.��

I read this book in one sitting and couldn't put it down. I'll be going straight into the next one after that ending!!

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💐💋 Pre-read: 💐💋

Have I finished the x26373 other series I’m currently in the middle of? No, but here I am 🙃 I’ve lost count of the amount of people I’ve promised that I’ll start this series so it was about time��