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True story: Two years ago a friend of my family died. He was a really good kid, 18 years old, very good student who has just been accepted in university, good athlete who has never taken drugs. He played for a local good basketball team and one day he collapsed during a match and he died for no particular reason.
His family after the funeral stayed with relatives for more than 6 months.
Nowadays, 2 years after, his parents are still visiting his grave at the cemetery every afternoon having there their afternoon coffee and talking like he is still here; his older sister who is already a university student rarely visits her parents house and his room is still the same. Nobody touches his stuff.
When a vibrant, lovable and full of life kid dies, the most tragic thing is the situation of the people who leaves behind. Nobody really knows how they will react. I was not family and I still ache when I think of him.

If I knew that a sixteen years old kid dies in the beginning and that her memory will be around throughout the book, influencing people’s decisions and tearing their soul; I would have never started this book.
When I finished the second chapter and I had an idea of what is going on, I honestly wanted to stop reading.

I am glad that I continued.

Because otherwise, I would have missed a wonderful love story between teenagers, sprinkled with:

Lust.

“She sucks and bites and licks and tugs as I just hover there, not moving and not kissing back as I let her explore.��

Guilt.

“I stopped being able to talk to you. I stopped looking for a way to talk to you.��

Accusations.

“If he’d just stopped pushing her and convinced her that our mother was never coming back, she might not have been destroying her body to try to be the perfect student, the perfect athlete, the perfect kid.��

Betrayal.

“And my piece-of-shit mother never even showed up to the funeral. Every day I think about it, I get more livid.��

Lies.

“He gets the version of me I want to be.��

Secrets.

“Your dirty little secret who will fuck you in the back of a truck, hiding you so your stuck-up, shallow friends don’t know how good I give it to you?��

Wrong turns.

“I needed better friends. So one day I ran off. When recess time came, I hid around a corner so she wouldn’t find me, and I watched her.��

Bad decisions.

“I traded friends I didn’t think were good enough for friends who really aren’t good enough.��

Lost innocence.

“Yeah, I remember the letter, babe. You were a mess, feeling ashamed and hurt, and I wanted to kill the guy.��

Feelings.

“I beg, feeling the ache in my chest spread. “I love you—”��

High school drama.

“She said you’re going to prom with Trey. She wanted to know your favorite color for the corsage. Why didn’t you tell us he’d asked you?��

Friendship.

“That friend I told you about? Misha? He writes music. I was making him a surprise for graduation.��

Honesty.

“Why would you tell me those things when you didn’t follow them yourself?��

The final truth.

“What’s his name?...His REAL name.��

Punishment.

“With every step, I feel stronger.��

Tears.

“An ache digs into the back of my throat, but I refuse to cry. Turning, I look out the window and see my reflection in the glass. I blink away the tears and check my face to make sure my mascara and lips aren’t smeared.��

Laughter.

“He’s walking around, picking up a few clothes, and on the bed sits plates with PB&J sandwiches and sprigs of grapes, with juice boxes sitting next to them. I hold in my laugh. I don’t think I’ve had that lunch since fifth grade.��

Music.

“The drums count off, the beat starts, and the guitars lead in, creating a fast and hard but soulful tune.

Awesome lyrics.

“…Anything goes when everyone knows
Where do you hide when their highs are your lows?...��

And all the feelings multiplied by 100 because we are talking about hormonal teenagers with constant emotional changes who love to exaggerate every simple decision.

This is my first book by this author and I am definitely reading more!