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⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ "Never in all my years of Christianity has there been talk of an angel like this." This book was the most beautiful I have ever read.

Set in the early 1990s in Crossmore, Ireland, Lucy is trying to stay on the beaten track. Her main expectation for life is that she will marry her best friend, Martin. However, this path of life seems less and less appealing to her as she grows into her later teenager years. As the summer heats up, Lucy begins to notice Susannah, one of the girls in her friendship group, in a way she would have never expected. She is fixated on the being that is Susannah, on what makes her unique, and becomes utterly infatuated. However, being raised in a tiny village, where everyone knows everything about everyone, it seems there is no place for these feelings Lucy holds for Susannah. Until the lines between friendship and a relationship begin to blur, and Lucy and Susannah fall for each other, despite all arrows in life pointing them away from each other. The book focuses on the first love between two young girls who simply shouldn't, the delicacy and intricacy between the bonds of mother and daughter, and what to do when the one thing you know is right, is wrong to everyone else.

The feelings that Lucy has at the start when he notices her awareness of other women in her life was nothing short of perfection. At the start there are discussions on how Lucy admires other girls, but brushes it off as what all girls do, we all look upwards to other girls we wish to be like. "This admiration is the natural order, I'm sure". It notes so beautifully the feeling between wanting to be someone, and actually wanting someone. This is such a thoughtful insight into the mind of a young teenager who its struggling with discovering who they are and where they fall in life. It was so beautiful and so well-written. One of the best moments of Lucy's realisation, in my opinion, is where she was listening to Susannah eating. My ears starting ringing it was so descriptive. Never have these feelings in adolescence been so well captured.

I think one of the most integral relations in the book is that between Lucy and her mother. "My perfect mother, my sweet and stinging honeybee." I think that really encapsulates everything you need to know about the writing and the maternal relations in this book. Lucy is under the guise that one day the relationship between her and her mother will wane and just wishes to hold on what love she can get for her while she can. This was possibly one of my favourite relationships in the whole book, as under the strict ways that are followed in this tiny village, Lucy's sexuality places her in a vulnerable position with regard to her mother.

I can't not mention Susannah. Their relationship was one of my favourite I have ever read about. The religious language whilst reading about the girls first love was truly a special read. These young girls know what they are supposed to be, yet they follow what they know feels right, society be damned. "I would drape my own soul over her body to protect her from eyes like mine". It's just incredible.

The plot of this book is very strong as not only do you get to see Lucy's relationship with other characters (Martin, friend-group from school, family) you get to see her grow up, and grow into her own skin in which as she becomes more comfortable, others begin to peel away on. I cannot fault this book, and I cannot criticise any of the characters decisions, for they were so young.

I recommend this book to anyone and everyone. It was incredibly beautiful so perfect if you're looking for a book regarding coming-of-age, and coming to know and understand your own sexuality, you simply must read it. Thank you netgalley for the arc! And thank you Chloe for such a beautiful book.