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Becky's Reviews > The Unbearable Lightness of Being

The Unbearable Lightness of Being by Milan Kundera
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did not like it
bookshelves: year-2013, dnf, disappointing, made-my-eyes-bleed, ebook_nook, reviewed

13% and I'm done.

I have had a run of books that have bored me, or annoyed me, or just did nothing for me. This one is... You know, I don't even know how to describe this one.

I pretty much hated it from the first page. I do not understand the high rating on ŷ for this book. I can barely stand the thought of picking it up again and reading more of the words telling me things about characters that I could not possibly care less about.

We have Tomas, whom we meet standing on his balcony and vacillating between whether he should ask a woman that he's "in love with" (read: met in a chance encounter and became infatuated with) to move in with him. He's saved from making any kind of fucking decision by her showing up on his doorstep (literally) with her bags packed and ready to move in. Which she does. And then she clings to him (literally) every night - to the point that he controls her sleep patterns. He even, charmer that he is, fucks with her partially-asleep mind and tells her that he's leaving her forever, so that she'll chase him and drag him back home.

Tereza (that's the woman - I had to look up her name) begins to have nightmares that he's cheating on her and forcing her to watch after finding a letter from a woman in Tomas's drawer describing that very thing. So then, in the course of a sentence, we learn that Tomas has never stopped womanizing, then that he lied to Tereza about it, then tried to justify it, and now just tries to hide it from her, but won't stop.

And she stays. He gets her a dog, because the dog will hopefully "develop lesbian tendencies" and love Tereza, because Tomas can't cope with her and needs help.

So yes, Tereza not only stays, but marries him.

Why? *shrug* The book said so.

So then war comes, and they relocate... but after a while Tereza leaves Tomas (taking the female dog that they named Karenin and now refer to using male pronouns... Maybe to make Tomas feel as though Tereza has a lover as well? Who knows. This book is so stupid...).

She leaves him, and I think, "About frigging time." There's no reason for her having decided to leave him NOW, as opposed to any day of the 7 previous years of dreading him coming home smelling of another woman, of fearing that every single woman she sees will be her husband's next conquest. She decided to leave now... because the book said so.

And then he realizes that he can't be without her, and goes to her, and she takes him back, and then he realizes he feels nothing for her but mild indigestion and "pressure in his stomach and the despair of having returned".



I am a character reader. I need characters that I can identify with, that I can understand, maybe like... but these were none of those things. I don't know them, I don't understand them, I don't identify with them in any way... and I don't want to.

I just want to stop reading about them.

And so I did.
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Reading Progress

March 3, 2013 – Shelved
March 22, 2013 – Started Reading
March 22, 2013 –
8.0% "Less than 10% and I'm already irritated with the writing and the characters and the... "story"? Not a good sign."
March 23, 2013 – Shelved as: year-2013
March 23, 2013 – Shelved as: dnf
March 23, 2013 – Shelved as: disappointing
March 23, 2013 – Shelved as: made-my-eyes-bleed
March 23, 2013 – Shelved as: ebook_nook
March 23, 2013 – Shelved as: reviewed
March 23, 2013 – Finished Reading

Comments Showing 1-50 of 82 (82 new)


Brandylynne I completely agree. I felt the same exact way.


Assaad Me too, till now :)


Ayushi My sentiments exactly!


message 4: by Jillian (new)

Jillian I think I stopped reading in the same place you did. I think I liked the Nanny Diaries better ... seriously.


Phoebe Lynn Thank you. I am trying to struggle through because I just want to finish it, but by God, it is a uphill struggle.


Becky Give it up - you'll feel better immediately.


Assaad Becky wrote: "Give it up - you'll feel better immediately."
Haha indeeeeed :) I just love that someone else share my same feeling :)


message 8: by Robert (new)

Robert Wright It's been a long time since I read this (don't even own a copy anymore). Remember it vaguely. Not particularly impressed, but didn't hate it with the blazing passion you seem to. Your review encourages me to not bother revisiting it, though ...


Becky Don't do it. There are other, better, more worthwhile books to spend your time on. Don't waste it re-reading a book that left no impression on you at all. In five years, you'll just wonder why you bothered after you've forgotten all about it again.


message 10: by Malvika (new)

Malvika After seeing this book recommended everywhere to the skies, I'm so glad I'm not the only one very underwhelmed by it. Haha I felt kind of guilty even.. was there something I was just too thick to see which made it so fantastic? Definitely glad I gave it up!


message 11: by ẫn (new) - rated it 4 stars

ẫn You don't understand it and you call it "stupid"? Oh let's see, we've got a smartass over here...


Phoebe Lynn Looking for your insightful review, Rosy... ;)


message 13: by Becky (last edited May 23, 2015 06:06AM) (new) - rated it 1 star

Becky Rosy wrote: "You don't understand it and you call it "stupid"? Oh let's see, we've got a smartass over here..."

First of all, reading comprehension is your friend. I said I didn't understand the characters, as in why they'd act in the incredibly stupid and ridiculous ways they did. I can't understand why anyone would want to stay with a cheating manipulator shithead like Tomas. That is fucking stupid.

That's not being a smartass, that's just fact.

But, by all means, tell me what I've missed or why I should have wasted my time and kept reading this miserable trash. I'm waiting.


message 14: by á (new) - rated it 2 stars

á I've been struggling to read this book ever since a very dear friend of mine recommended it, which was about 4 or 5 months ago. And I just can't do it. I do like it when authors try hard, it's okay to be a little pretentious. But Kundera is simply too damn much. This book gives neither interesting characters --going back and forth on their lives and trying to find meaning on every little thing they do doesn't make for an interesting character-- nor a good plot. Which leaves the philosophical part. See, I keep making myself excuses for not being able to connect to this particular part of the book, I tell myself "maybe I'm not in the mood for this right now". But it's been five freaking months, and God knows I can't be that shallow.


message 15: by Becky (new) - rated it 1 star

Becky Just let it go, Barbara. It's not worth it. Life is too short to read shitty books.


Alissa Patrick I hated this book!


message 17: by Becky (new) - rated it 1 star

Becky That is the correct assessment, Alissa. :P


whimsicalmeerkat I like your review despite absolutely loving Milan Kundera.


message 19: by Becky (new) - rated it 1 star

Becky Denae wrote: "I like your review despite absolutely loving Milan Kundera."

Thanks Denae.... I will pass any Kundera books I find along to you. LOL


whimsicalmeerkat Becky wrote: "Denae wrote: "I like your review despite absolutely loving Milan Kundera."

Thanks Denae.... I will pass any Kundera books I find along to you. LOL"


You'd have to really look to find a fictional one I haven't read.


message 21: by Martin (new)

Martin I read this book over 20 years ago. I am poor at remembering what books were about but this review was brilliant in reawakening my memory of the story, and in such a funny and concise way. Thank you!


message 22: by Kirk (new)

Kirk Haven't read it, but I can say that the movie is a pretentious piece of shit, so avoid that too. And great review!


message 23: by Becky (new) - rated it 1 star

Becky Kirk wrote: "Haven't read it, but I can say that the movie is a pretentious piece of shit, so avoid that too. And great review!"

"Pretentious piece of shit" just about sums it up.


message 24: by Karla (new)

Karla Washington oh I'm so happy to find agreement with my asssment. I've been struggling to finish it in time for my book club tonight, I am so mad I picked a stupid book like this. But feel so much better now to hear that its not only me, not everyone likes it. Thanks everyone!


Kristin Thank good I am not the only one! Seriously, I've trudged through almost half of this, even dropping it for 6 mos. Picked up again today as I kept thinking there must be a reason everyone loves this so much. I give up though. Thank you for the push :)


message 26: by Mariel (new) - added it

Mariel C'a. i feel so bad about wanting to give up on it, i don't know maybe forcing me to finish this book :( i don't indentify at all neither...


message 27: by Dania (new) - added it

Dania Abutaha haha


message 28: by Dania (new) - added it

Dania Abutaha it took me longer


message 29: by Kathy (new) - added it

Kathy After trudging thru 100 pages, I was just.......not.......getting.......it! I finally turned to ŷ. I knew it wasn't me!


message 30: by Becky (new) - rated it 1 star

Becky Kathy wrote: "After trudging thru 100 pages, I was just.......not.......getting.......it! I finally turned to ŷ. I knew it wasn't me!"

Definitely not just you! This was completely lost on me. I like grim and bleak, but this was just... dumb. Completely unrealistic.


MrsJoseph *grouchy* Where's the lightness??? This sounds depressing.


message 32: by Becky (new) - rated it 1 star

Becky MrsJoseph wrote: "Where's the lightness??? This sounds depressing."

Ugh... it was unbearable.


message 33: by Maxi (new) - rated it 1 star

Maxi Del Thank you for your review! I couldn't have said it better. There is so much wrong with these characters, I can't finish this one.


message 34: by Julie (new)

Julie Disney 20 pages in and I already can’t stand the portrayal of women in this book. They are weak (Tereza), they are conniving (the mother of Tomas� son). I can’t believe all the good reviews - This one is going back to the library unfinished.


message 35: by Becky (new) - rated it 1 star

Becky Julie wrote: "20 pages in and I already can’t stand the portrayal of women in this book. They are weak (Tereza), they are conniving (the mother of Tomas� son). I can’t believe all the good reviews - This one is ..."

I didn't even make it that far. Kudos to you!


message 36: by C (new) - rated it 2 stars

C Preach!


message 37: by Erin (new) - rated it 1 star

Erin Thank you, thank you for putting into words the hate that I feel in my soul when it comes to this book. :)


Daniela The author tells you himself - the book is not at all about the characters. Books in general, are more than just characters or stories. This is a comment on the meaning of life and the different and conflicting views the author has on several topics. It's about dillemmas, thinking about one topic differently at different points of your life.


message 39: by Becky (new) - rated it 1 star

Becky Daniela wrote: "The author tells you himself - the book is not at all about the characters. Books in general, are more than just characters or stories. This is a comment on the meaning of life and the different and conflicting views the author has on several topics. It's about dillemmas, thinking about one topic differently at different points of your life."

The author doesn't get to determine how readers approach or interpret or feel about their work. They write what they write, with whatever intent they have, and then it's released out into the world and people will react to it as they will.


Phoebe Lynn Daniela, I have to disagree, I think the characters and the plot of a novel are so critical and it’s hard to try and understand the “underlying meaning of the novel� when I don’t care an iota about the characters and feel nothing about them.


message 41: by David (new) - added it

David Yeah, from what I've gleaned from people talking about it, including the author himself, the characters weren't really the point of the book at all, so if character is the end all be all for someone it just ain't gonna work. I can definitely appreciate an idea book with shallowly drawn character so I might still try and read it someday, but god does Tomas sound fucking insufferable.


message 42: by Becky (new) - rated it 1 star

Becky Definitely not the end all be all feature for me, but pretty important. And yeah, he was.


Joanna I 100% agree with this. I only managed to read about 30 pages before giving up. I hated the 2 characters so much that I couldnt stand reading about them anymore.


message 44: by Svetlana (new)

Svetlana Orel Thank you for your review! Will not be picking this up 🤗


message 45: by Becky (new) - rated it 1 star

Becky Svetlana wrote: "Thank you for your review! Will not be picking this up 🤗"

Saved another one! ;)


message 46: by Erin (new) - rated it 1 star

Erin I wish you could have saved me all those years ago lol


message 47: by Becky (new) - rated it 1 star

Becky Erin wrote: "I wish you could have saved me all those years ago lol"

I'm sorry! One day we will have time travel technology, and maybe I still can! :P


message 48: by Carmen (new) - added it

Carmen Wow. THAT'S what this book is about?! Great review.


message 49: by Crystal (new)

Crystal Sherman Totally agree! Just a lot of weird and unexplained things as well.


message 50: by omar (new) - rated it 1 star

omar I got 27% of the way through and for goodness sake I should have just read this review and stopped. So terrible. Thanks for the great review.


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